Joseph Dunford Obituary

Joe, can you please contact me. 815-260-9159. Thinking about and missing your dad. Just want to reminisce.

Uncle Joe,

The last time you saw Shannon she was just a toddler. Sweet as hell and for some reason scared spitless of you, probably becuase you were so much larger than life.

She's 8 now Uncle Joe, and just made her First Communion last Sunday. She was stunningly beautiful and was chosen to do a reading. She was terrified becuase she is just as shy as I was at her age, but she did awsome.

Now it's 3 days later and she's in the hospital. They don't know what's wrong and I'm sort of at a loss. All I can do is stay there with her and wait. It sucks.

I know you watch over all of us becuase no matter what you were always there for anyone that needed you, but could you please keep a close eye on her for a bit?

I love you and miss you so much.

Sandy

Five years .... amazing that you've been gone so long. Today is only one day more than yesterday, but SO much more difficult!

Dad, please know that we love you, miss you and pray that you are in a better place.

You weren't perfect, you never claimed to be. But I miss every imperfection you ever taught me!I miss you so much, life is not the same!Why couldn't I say it while you were here?

A year, Dad, is a long, long time. And yet, it is so very short because it seems like only hours ago that we said goodbye. I just wanted to say that I miss you and love you . . . certainly not anything I haven't said so many times before.



I want to take some time to say a few things to some people that I know will read this. Our family is exceptional and our friends are incredible. We survived your passing because of them. One of the lessons I have learned is that we take for granted who we have and what we have and so I try hard not to do that anymore. We have aunts, uncles, cousins and friends who rallied around us and took care of us for you and I know you loved them as much as we do still.



Some of them have lost loved ones since you've passed and I can only hope that we've helped them as they helped me. Your passing has given me (sadly) a new understanding of pain and sadness and I think has made me more compassionate and understanding of other people's pain. I hope it has and continues to make me a better person because at least then there is a very small positive impact in your very early and senseless death that even today I just don't want to accept! (I do realize I don't have a choice in this - not to worry, I haven't lost all of my marbles!)



So, Dad, I write to you this day, April 26, the eve of your death because I know I won't be able to do it tomorrow. It is more than a year after the last time I saw you (Easter Sunday 2005); the last time I hugged you, kissed you, and said I loved you. I miss you terribly and will love you forever. I know you are with us and you know that we are doing OK and will be better and stronger as time passes. There is a bit of comfort in that.



I write to everyone else to say thank you for loving my father, my mother, Sue, Joe and me. Thank you for your unbelieveable support. Thank you for being part of our lives. You are very loved and we are very lucky to have you.



And to Uncle Larry, Happy Birthday. I know your day is forever shadowed but it celebrates your birth and I am happy to recognize and celebrate it with you!



Love,

Lynda

DEAR JOE:

TOMORROW IT WILL BE A YEAR THAT YOU HAVE BEEN GONE,BUT I THINK TO ALL OF US WHO LOVE YOU IT SEEMS LIKE A WHOLE LOT LONGER! I MISS YOU SO VERY MUCH,I MISS YOU GIVING ME A HARD TIME,AND ALWAYS TELLING ME I"M NUTS!! I MISS YOUR LAID BACK WAYS,BUT MOST OF ALL I MISS YOU!!!!



THE KIDS AS YOU WELL KNOW ARE DOING AS WELL AS THEY CAN, THEY ARE ALL STILL FEELING THE HURT AND EMPTINESS OF YOUR ABSENCE.



AS FAR AS MRS. NUTS GOES, SHE HAS HER GOOD DAYS BUT SHE ALSO HAS SOME REAL BAD DAYS, THE KIDS HAVE ALL BEEN GREAT WITH HER AND AS FOR MY SELF, I TRY! I TRY TO COMFORT HER EVEN THOUGH I KNOW NO ONE CAN REALY DO THAT BECAUSE SHE IS STILL DEVASTATED AND WILL BE UNTIL SHE IS WITH YOU AGAIN. I PROMISED YOU I WOULD ALWAYS BE THERE FOR HER AND I WILL KEEP THAT PROMISE!



AND NOW JOE FOR ME; IT HAS TAKEN ME ALMOST A YEAR TO WRITE THIS BECAUSE IT WAS EASER TO NOT PUT TO WORDS WHAT I FEEL ABOUT YOUR PASSING AWAY, EVEN THOUGH I STOP BY ONCE A WEEK OR SO TO SAY "HI" TO YOU, IN MY HEART I STILL GO TO THE HOUSE WAITING FOR YOU TO BE THERE ON THE SOFA.



I LOVE YOU VERY MUCH JOE AN AS LONG AS YOU ARE IN OUR HEARTS AND IN OUR MINDS YOU WILL NEVER REALY BE GONE!I LOVE YOU!!!!

To all those who knew my brother:



May you always be blessed

With walls for the wind,

A roof for the rain,

A warm cup of tea by the fire--



Laughter to cheer you,

Those you love near you,

And all that your heart might desire.



'Tis an old keltic blessing Mike's putting out there.

Whither it be cyber space,

Or the Sacred Grove's air.

Let witches and gnomes and faeries beware.

The deepest magick is for us that still care.



It's almost midnight and I'm Thinking of Joe most.

And as a whole person

Not as a ghost.



Say hello to St. Patty for us Joe.

Be seeing you soon enough. But I be hoping not to soon brother.

Uncle Joe - When you left us, I was so upset on so many levels. 1)I haven't told you that I love you in so many years. 2) The loss of you blindsided all of us. We all suffered various degrees of anguish, for all it was earthshattering in it's intensity. 3)The people that I love, that loved you so much, were so increadibly devastated. Last but not least 4)Shannon, in all of her youthful shyness, had finally given you her love and kisses freely and without hesitation only one week before. Just out of nowhere. That's that part that breaks my heart the most, the loss and pain that the children felt, mine included, when they remember how much they love you and you loved them. We all miss you, but the way the kids miss you is the most heartwrenching. When I mention Joe or Joseph to Shannon, even after all of this time, I still call them Uncle Joe Pete and Joe Mark. It's so hard to let it go and just call them Uncle Joe and Joe. You will always be 'Uncle Joe' in my heart. Joe's just gonna have to live with Uncle Joe Pete for a while longer. Aunt Mar got sick a week ago today, and Mom had to call and ambulance. You know what the Paramedics asked when they got there? Which hospital do you want to go to, Silver Cross or Palos. You just wait until I get up there pal, because I'm really ready to kick your butt! (yeah, yeah, yeah. I know. Me and what army.) I love you.



Sandy

Joe, I used to be angry with you because you would never call. Now, I miss not being able to call you an say "Hi" or ask your advise about something. I hope you are watching over us.



Loophole

Dad - three months ago today you left us and three months from today we will face your birthday for the first time without you. This really sucks. It feels like an eternity since I saw you and I wish I could say it was getting better. Life goes on, we have fun, the kids play, we go to work, and always there is a void that can't be filled.



It has been raining a lot over the past couple of days and that makes the kids think of you. They talked about you a lot yesterday and they've decided that you've been gone long enough. They'd like you to come back now and bring their dog with you. If only life (and death) was that simple . . . .



I love you and will always, always miss you,

Lynda

It`s July 10 and I just felt like dropping a line. I was looking at a calendar this morning and I came across a quote. The quote was from someone unknown. I don`t recall ever meeting unknown but I`m sure my Dad must have. The quote is as follows... "Do not follow where the path may lead. Go instead where there is no path and leave a trail." J.P.D.

Good night, Mr.Dunford.

DearDad, It`s Fathers Day and for the 1st time in 34 years Idon`t have a dad to spend it with.Ididn`t think it would be any more painfull than any other day since April 27th, but it is. It`s a grim reminder of how much you should still be here. Iknow exactly what you would say to that though,at least you don`t have to buy a gift.Knowing you really would say that makes me smile for a second, but then the pain quickly returns. Don`t get me wrong I don`t walk around sobbing 24/7 but there is a hole inside of me that I don`t think will ever be filled. I get angry alot when people tell me that time will fill the hole,I`m not so sure. I don`t think theres enough time left in my life to fill it. What`s time any way? To me it`s a double edged sword, it supposedly heals wounds like this, but it also takes away so many precious things. It` like we all have our own little hourglass of sand, except we can`t just flip it over, when the sand is out it`s out. My only problem with that is you had way too little sand Dad! Thank God you taught me so much while you were hereor I hoestly don`t think I could deal with this. You taught me how to hunt and fish to laugh and cry you taught me how to love and be loved.You taught me the importance of getting up early to go mak aliving, even when you don`t feel like it, you taught me we make aliving by what we get but we make a life by what we give. Most importantly you taught me to be a man, if I could just become half the man you are i`ll be twice the man any one else is. I`m trying to man up like you would Dad, but sometimes I just get weak. You were such a good leader in life you made it to easy to follow.

You now know how much I cherished our time together. Whether it was working together, watching golf on t.v., going to Nick`s for a burger and a beer or going fishing in Ohio.

Going fishing with you was far and away my favorite time with you. I know it was definitly yours you were like a kid in candy shop when it came time for our trip. I loved the way you would pack up the coolers with food and beer and arrange them in backseat so we could grab a sandwich and abeer for the ride. Did I say beer? I meant a pop!

Iam going fishing with Uncle Mike and the boys next weekend,and it won`t be the same without you.At one point I wasn`t going to go but I knew you would be up set if I missed a trip.I know you will be right next to me, from the time I start packing the coolers till the time I reel in the big walleye.

Iam going to have Capt. Dave name a fishing hole after you and put it in the boats sattelite system we`ll come up with aname together.

It`s going to be a painfull weekend for all of us you were the main attraction even if we weren`t catching fish.Let`s be honest, we went to Erie for the good times and memories not the fish. If we wanted walleye that bad we could just go to Jewel and save about $200.00 a pound.Wow!, that sounds like something you would say.

As much as Iam hurting now Dad, Iam alot luckier thanmost sons, we had a fantastic relationship together.

Moving back home for the last year and a half only brought us closer together.

Iloved sitting with you at the kitchen table every moring before work, we had some really good talks there.

You have no idea what it means to me to have said goodbye to you that day Dad.I`ll never forget it.

Like every moring Igot up from the table grabbed my lunch looked back at you from the door and said I`ll see ya later Dad, you then turned to me and said ok have a good day and then I said you too and left. As the fickled finger of fate would have it wasn`t a good day at all was it.So the next time someone wants to tell me time will heal do yourself a f

avor don`t!.

Well I should go know Dad I could write to you for days but no one needs to know any more, the rest will be in our hearts forever.

It`s been a pleasure following your lead my friend, you have made an impression on me that`s made me a better man a stronger man and for that and everything else I thank you. I know some day I`ll be happy again but I`ll never as happy as when you and I were together.

Happy Fathers Day Dad, I love you and miss you more than any one knows.

Your son Joe.





P.S.

Fishing license=$30.00

Food & feul=$100.00

Hotel=$150.00

Chance to fish just one last time with you Dad=PRICELESS

Anyone who’d been around my Dad for, oh, 30 seconds knew that he had a knack for name calling, Loophole, Carp Lips, Magget Man, Space Cadet, Nitwit…the list is endless. He had a great sense of humor, a quick mind and a sharp tongue.



When Dad was doing a household project and it wasn’t going quite as it was supposed to and he’d start to get aggravated, his head would drop and his shoulders would seem unnaturally high, or hunched. Whenever we needed to determine Dad’s mood, we’d ask Mom “What’s the “Hunch-O-Meter at today?” All in fun, but quite an accurate measurement. If Dad was “hunching,” you run for the hills.



Dad always said that when “his number was up” he wanted to go quickly. Well, he got his wish. As the priest said at the funeral service, when someone goes quickly the family is left to do the suffering. He’s right. There are so many things that are left unsaid, so many things yet to be done. The pain of losing a parent hurts like nothing I’ve ever felt before.



The only positive thing that’s come out of all of this is realizing the love and support of friends and family. So many people were so supportive during the services – and since.



I pray that Dad knew how much he was loved – by so many people.

Dear Dad,

As unbelievable as it is, you have been gone more than a month. At times it feels like years since I've seen you but the pain is still at times so raw that it seems like only yesterday. Time goes on and some days are better than others; none of us really knows what kind of day we will have when we wake. Something as simple as picking radishes in the garden and realizing you aren't there to share them with is sometimes enough to cause a good day to turn ugly.



The innocence of Eddie and Caitlyn sometimes helps/sometimes doesn't. Eddie seems not to be afraid of thunderstorms anymore because he knows Grandpa is now an angel who is bowling and saying hello. Caitlyn's 3 year old mind is trying to find answers. Yesterday was the very first day she didn't ask me 'why did my Grandpa have to die, mama?'. I wish I knew the answer.



And Bill has to deal with his own feelings of loss as well as deal with the rest of us! Tough place to be these days.



Dad, I knew I loved you - even that I loved you very much - but even I didn't know how much. I am comforted by the fact that you are in a better place and that you do know how much.



You now know how much you were loved by hundreds of people. You would have been secretly pleased (maybe a bit embarassed) but outwardly ticked (that famous gruff exterior) by the number of people who paid their respects, the amount of flowers sent, and all of the tears. But I'm sure you smiled at the fact that your funeral procession was so long you held up people for blocks!



So now I have to get back to work and the 'normalcy' of everyday life.



I love you, Dad. And I miss you more than I can adequately express.



Lynda

Mrs. Dunford, I'm so sorry to hear about Mr. Dunford. Please accept my family's condolences. I have many happy memories growing up and visiting with Sue. My family let me know about his passing. Mr. Dunford had such a good sense of humor, that's what I remember most. I will pray for him at Mass today. Love, Jody

A Prayer for a Mentor

Who Mentored

My Mentor

Mary Ellen please accept my sincere condolences on the death of Joe. I just learned of his death online. I am doing genealogy on the Fleming family and was browsing newspapers. In case you have forgotten me, I am your cousin Sally Fleming (Uncle George Fleming's daughter). Would love to hear from you later when you are able. Again, I am so sorry about Joe.God Bless you and your family.

I remember being a little kid and being afraid of Uncle Joe. The big rough and gruff guy. As I grew older, I came to realize yes he was a bear but not the grizzly that I thought but a teddy bear. No, he didn't show it often but it was there. I saw it in the way he took my dad and me and our dog Smokey, in when we had a fire in our house. I saw it the way he took time to talk about trapshooting and trying to help me do better with pointers here and there. I saw it in the way he coined nicknames for ones he loved. I will always remember walking in the back door of the house on 107th, Uncle Joe and Aunt Mar sitting at the table and Uncle Joe yelling to one of my cousins to "pump" because they left a light on. Something I had to do when I lived there too.

Thank you, Joe, for all that you have done for my family and me. You taught me about business, the exquisite taste of Ketel One Vodka from the freezer, the importance of couch time and too many other things to recount. I will miss your warmth, wisdom and advice. I will forever miss your greeting, "Hey Loophole"



As a lawyer and now a judge, I often have to deal in gray areas about truth. But there is on absolute fact that I know. We are much better people for having known you.

As I celebrate this day of birth,

I now have 56 yrs. on earth.

Though grief will last a bit longer,

Thoughts of Joe will make me stronger.



Joseph was my big brother,

At times my father and role model.

I would have him be no other

Then to oft times live full throttle.



He was such a rough stone,

Yet in his depths was clarity.

To them that see. He has shown.

Lived and practiced true charity.



Recent years we friends did mellow,

Forgive me now to quote Longfellow.

Part of poem that brings me relief,

From this strong and stifling grief.



" A feeling of sadness and longing,

That is not akin to pain,

And resembles sorrow only

As the mist resembles rain.



Come read to me some poem,

Some simple and heart felt lay,

That shall sooth this restless feeling,

And banish the thoughts of day.



Read from some humbler poet,

Whose song gushed from their heart,

As showers from the clouds of summer,

Or tears from eyelids start".



So wrote the poet Longfellow,

Truly a poet sublime,

"Whose distant footsteps echo

Through the corridors of time"



I can say farewell no better,

Then Joe's kids have already done.

A qoute from poem or letter

And just recently read by one.



"You always cared for others.

It was just the thing to do.

And now it seems so fitting

That God will care for you."

To a wonderful father in law, pinochle partner and teacher. You will be missed.

As a fellow bricklayer I knew Joe for approximately 8 years. Joe was witty and had all the answers, and could figure everything out on a job. At times we'd meet for breakfast, and we would eat lunch together. He was the first at work and the first to go. He always had good lunches & he loved to eat.



As the fisherman I loved his vacations as much as he did because he'd always bring me back some fresh Walleye, even though his favorite was Scallops.



Joe always talked about "The wife"

& chirstmas decorations.

He would always tell me family stories of his children, so I've got the 411 on all of you from him.





As Ms. Dunford said when I talked to her Friday evening:

"You know Joe."

Yes, I know/knew Joe. He was my friend/mentor, and I'LL MISS HIM.

And I'll always be reminded of him riding the orange snowblower he gave me.

Demetrous -

(as Joe would say,

the Black Greek)