Lawrence Vaught Obituary

We remember and we love you.

Thinking of you and our family.
Love

Now we see things imperfectly, like puzzling reflections in a mirror, but then we will see everything with perfect clarity. All that I know now is partial and incomplete, but then I will know everything completely, just as God now knows me completely

1 Corinthians 13:12

As always thinking of you and loving you

Just thinking of you, and wanted to say I still miss you. Keep a watch out over your brother sister and your mom for me. I love all of you.

I have no words of wisdom or comfort to give tonight. I love you and our family.

Well Toby, just scrolling through different posts on social media when a song comes on and I can see your face as if you never left. It´s amazing how kind soul can leave an everlasting mark on some people in this world as you have, no matter how much time passes. You are truly special and always will be.

Remember when you were running in the yard barefoot and stepped on a bee? I remember it stung you and then you squashed it. I have a vivid memory of the squished bee hanging from your foot.

I told Audriana that story tody. She asked if you cried and I said I didn't think so. She said you must be the bravest person ever.

You are always remembered. I wonder how things would be different if you were around and how you would interact (or maybe not interact) with the family as it has grown. I wonder if we would understand one another. I wonder if you would understand me and my choices or if I would understand you and your choices. I wonder many things and it
is an exercise in futility but I always remember. You matter and are still a part of my life.

I wrote and erased it all it all
Just now.

I grieve for the rest of the family. I know you are okay. I just wish I could have been stronger the past 15 years to have helped them. I love them and I failed them.

Thanks for understanding with God´s eyes.

Love,
Dad

Happy Birthday
Dad

One day there will be no more entries. I am old now. I want you to know that with all of the mistakes I have made, I remember and love you.

Being remembered matters. I remember.

We are all thinking of you as the night and day approaches. On your birthday, at the appointed minute of your birth, your mom and I just hugged each other.

I am going to try to not stay awake as happens each year tonight.

We are fine and we love you, forever.

Dad

You still make me laugh. It was so strange tonight to have my computer go crazy and for your video - "Vaught Family Album to suddenly appear on my computer from nowhere. Thank you for your love message.

You are a lucky man in that your siblings and several of my friends contacted me today in your memory. I hope you still give your roommates comfort. I miss them.

Love you and yours my son.

Happy Belated Birthday Toby. You are still in my thoughts and are greatly missed by your shipyard family. I will see you next week my friend as I have done every year and your family is still in my prayers...Jennifer

It's 12:05 on June 27. Your mother went in labor with you at 12:05. Happy 40th birthday son.

Happy Birthday Toby!!! I've grown up so much, you wouldn't believe it!!! My Mom JUST had to toss out the garden swing you & her put together in 2005 as part of my Make A Wish. It lasted a very long time. Mr Vaught my Mom would love to hear from you. [email protected]

Happy Birthday Son

Dear Tob,

I can't fix this. I cannot fix this. Alone I cry out to Him - again.

Alone, alone, alone - it is how I began and how I will end, alone.

The noise from the Heavens is loud as the thunder and lightening fill the sky tonight as I sit and ponder. Yes, the hour approaches. We all pretend we do not remember. We all pretend that it does not cross our mind. We all hide our feelings under our covers but it does not matter. We all remember.

The day will come will no one will write in this book of memories of you. It will seem weird to have these forever in the digital world and then stop. Yet, our love, His love, endureth forever.

Your mom and I love you son. Talk to you soon.

Dad

I sit watching the second hand of the clock rapidly go in circles. Life is like that – going in circles. However, tonight it is different. I can feel the clock move within me with each chime. I know you can hear me. I said before how much you are loved and needed – it so true. I know you cannot move Heaven and Earth but as you know, there is so much love needed here.

Now you see with the eyes of God, help me to see too. Help our family come to gripes with what is here. Help us to learn to love, to accept this life. It is time for us to learn from your death what truly life means.

We spend so much time chasing our dreams that we forget that rainbows are made of rain. Heal our broken hearts within. Please ask God to give us a fresh new anointing of love. Help us to learn to forgive as He did us when He died for our sins.

I am so tired of running, so tired of trying to breathe. The oxygen in the air is never enough; I wheeze and gasp for air. No one said it was easy to love but harder still is accepting the power of His grace. Please show us how to love. Please be our advocate to our Lord, ask Him to teach us to love and to forgive.

I had three children. I tell Josh and Beth that I love them. They can hear my words even if they do not let the words into their hearts.

I just wanted to write my words of love for you here so that you can see; I miss and love you so much.

There are so many questions I want to know. None of them are important yet every one is vitally so. I miss you all the time but today I just want to know what you would be like today. Would you be a Mac person now? What sort of cell phone would my tech savvy brother have had? Would you have given up on social media or would you be in to twitter and what not? How much hair would you have by now, we do have our slowly receding hair line you know... Would you have gotten LASIK like you wanted? Maybe you would have moved to California like you wanted to. What would you think of my wife? Would you have come to the beach this week? Would you have inherited that lamp of maw maws that you wanted? What type of car would you drive? Would you think it was cool that I sell cars now? I think you would.
Often on your birthday I think of the past but today it has been of the tomorrow that never came. So many simple questions that I would know if you were here but since you aren't they just swirl around my head to never be truly answered.

As always you are missed. Sorry I never visit. It is easier to carry your memory around with me than face the stark reality of being at your grave. Also you have a lot of spiders there. You should do something about that. I mean I'm not taking about little spiders that are harmless, I mean you have black widows and brown recluse that crawled over my wife's foot. Not cool dude. You need to do some housekeeping ;)

Anyways I wanted to leave you a note since you have been on my mind all day. Back to my long long long drive to Illinois.

Thinking of you.

Hey Guy

Your mom and I are sitting in a hotel room in Blacksburg tonight. Of course every mile marker, every person we meet, and every breath of air reminds us of you. Can you believe it has almost been 20 years since we brought you here for your first year in college?

Evan has become a huge Tech fan - almost as bad as Boo and you.

Please continue to look out for your sister and brother. They could truly benefit from your unique perspective.

Time eases the hurt of your death but it never leaves. I think today was the first time I was grateful to God that you left Earth when you did. He blessed you by taking you home. It is difficult for us because we want things our way. It has been so hard to learn to trust Him and believe that He knows what is best. Perhaps that is what life is about. - Learning to trust you in the good and the bad times - no matter how we feel about it.

I remember the anger I felt when you died. Finally I told God, I don't like it but I choose to trust you. I no longer needed to understand, all I was supposed to do was to learn to trust Him. I still don't like it but I am beginning to see that His plan is greater and better than my plan. I guess it is a good thing since I am aging rapidly and know my time here is shorter than it was yesterday.

I write all of this to say that you are still loved by us all; however, it is okay. We trust HIM to lead us even when we do not understand.

Love ya guy,

Dad

I've been thinking about you a lot lately. I keep praying that I make good choices and I know that both of my angels are watching over me. I love you and miss you both so much.

HAPPY BIRTHDAY TOBY!!!!! We miss you more than you will ever know! Www.facebook.com/4teamjojo

Happy Birthday son.
Miss ya.

Toby i miss you,And think of you each and everyday....Missing you so much you were the light in my life now your the star in in my life as your watching over me!!! Feels like yesterday we were together and now your your not here but here its weird but god has plans for all of us...I remember the night we met that was awsome you coulnt ask for a better person than you...I miss you you so much. We will be together soon...

Hey Toby! Ive always thought about you sent the day I meet you , but over these last few months you have weighed heavy on my heart. Joanna aka Jojo was diagnosed with cancer July 2011. After everything she has been thru I ask myself why! I sure wish you were still here with us. She has grown so much and STILL remembers you very well! HUGS BUDDY love ya

Merry Christmas. You are so deeply missed and never forgotten. Listening to your song tonight... Love you.

Dear Son,

We all love you and miss you. Wish you were here to talk to someone who needs your perspective.

You are loved and not forgotten,

Dad

Dear Friends of Toby,

This is Toby's Dad. Some of you may know and some may not but before our son died he was part of a volunteer organization that helped to fulfill dreams of children who were sick and or dying. The organization with whom he worked is no longer in the area. Friends of his however formed a new organization in memory of his name to carry on this important work, called TOBY’S DREAM FOUNDATION. This is a nonprofit organization and right now everyone is working as a volunteer so all of the donations go to the kids. Although we did not ask for anyone to do this, it has been an honor and a wonderful tribute to our Toby. Joan Steele is leading the Foundation and is a loved and trusted family friend. Below I have copied her recent letter to us so that you can learn more about this work. I have also enclosed information about an important fundraiser that occurs next month. Jane and I plan to be there to support the continuation of Toby’s work. Yes I am sure he is getting a kick out of this and I somehow know he smiles that those who loved him are now helping to change the lives of children in need in an even greater way than he could by himself. The date is April 24. If you can volunteer to help or just enjoy the envenng.

If you cannot volunteer or attend, I hope that you will visit the webpage (www.tobysdream.org) and consider making a donation or getting involved in some other way. Losing our son was tough but I see how much good has happened through his life on Earth. Call me crazy but I can feel his presence and I know two things. One, he is happy and does not want us to be of heavy heart. Two, he is getting a heck of a good belly laugh looking at us doing his work for him. His “Dream Kids” were special to him and now they are to me. Please consider becoming a part of Toby’s Dream. Details are on the website. Please forward this to others who can help.

Sending my love to all - Larry

Joan’s letter:

Hi Jane and Larry,
I apologize for not writing with an update sooner, but Toby's Dream Foundation has been keeping me VERY busy....and it is all good! First of all, our website is up and running, check it out....www.tobysdream.org . It is still a work in progress as our "donation button" will be installed by the end of the week. We still have more information to add, but for now, the "look" is there and we are getting good reviews. Your comments are welcomed.
I continue to be amazed and thrilled with the response from the community about our wonderful organization. The medical community is talking about us and sending us even more referral sources for children who qualify. We now have a Medical Advisory Board consisting of four people from CHKD and three from Portsmouth Naval (doctors as well as other medical professionals). This is something we did not have at the other organization so we are thrilled, not only for the endorsement from these professionals but also, to have them join us in our efforts. We currently have 10 children in our system with another seven coming our way in the next few weeks. I'm told that we should expect many more to come. All three referral sources, CHKD, Portsmouth Naval and Edmarc Hospice for Children are committed to entrusting TDF with these very special children. I am humbled by their trust.
I am convinced that TDF was meant to be "born". This community was in need of this mission as they used to have it. With the rapid speed things have taken off, I know that we are making a difference in the community. The medical professionals have told us they are so grateful for TDF as it is their duty to make sure the children who qualify get the best medical treatment as well as the best dream/wish experience.
I continue to love what we are doing and am thrilled each time I tell the story of "who is Toby". Having this organization named in memory of Toby has been such a pleasure for me, personally as I feel he is right beside me every step of the way. I am sure you feel his presence as well.
I hope to see you both soon.
Love,
Joan

TOAST THE COAST! Gather your friends, one and all, and get yourselves ready for the 2010 Oceanfront Spring Crawl on Saturday, April 24th, which promises to be the best bar-hopping night of the year this side of the Atlantic! Last year's event was our first-ever pub crawl in Virginia Beach, and given all of the sun and success we found, we can't wait to be back to the beach this year. This big event will journey to several different establishments up and down Altanic Ave and Pacific Ave in the resort area of Virginia Beach from 4:00 PM until 9:00 PM with ALL proceeds going directly to Toby's Dream Foundation, a local charitable organization that gives children living in our area with life-threatening illnesses the opportunity to imagine and experience their most fantastic dream. All of the details on participating locations, how to register, and what to do at the event are available through the links in the menu above. Now go get your toasting glasses ready because this big event is shouting cheers for a cause!
REGISTER NOW & SAVE! To participate in this event, you will need to register online with a credit card (online registration will remain open until midnight the night before the event) or at the registration booth on the day of the event between 4:00 PM and 6:00 PM with cash or check made payable to "Toby's Dream Foundation" (no credit cards accepted on site). For your registration fee, you will receive an event T-shirt, souvenir cup, souvenir magnet, guide map of crawl locations, other promotional items, and a wristband good for free entrance and specials at all sponsoring establishments. Discounts on registration fees are only available online prior to the event so be sure to get registered early!
VOLUNTEERS NEEDED! We currently have a need for volunteers to help out during the event at each of the bars on the tour. If you have the time and desire to help us out, we'd definitely appreciate the help and will give you free registration to the event and a special volunteer shirt in return. Simply fill out our volunteer registration form to let us know your interest.
For those a bit less familiar with the Hampton Roads area of Virginia, the Virginia Beach Oceanfront is the resort area located on the Atlantic Ocean between 1st Street and 40th Street in the City of Virginia Beach. This section of the city features a beautiful cement boardwalk that runs for forty blocks along the beachfront. Long the primary tourist attraction for the local area, the Virginia Beach Oceanfront has grown by leaps and bounds over the last century and now features a large concentration of resort skyscrapers. More on the local attractions near the Virginia Beach Oceanfront plus some helpful travel tips and information is all available through the Virginia Beach Convention & Visitors Bureau.


Joan Steele
Executive Director
Toby's Dream Foundation
283 Constitution Drive, Suite 900
Virginia Beach, Virginia 23462
Phone: 757-493-3754
Fax: 757-490-3398
www.tobysdream.org

Tomorrow begins with a Dream.......

I just found out of your passing from your sister sending me a fan page for an organization. Man, what a shock that was. I guess that just shows that the years really aren't that long when you look back at them. To the family I send, albeit much belated, my condolences.

Hey Toby, Not many days go by that I don't think about you and really miss you. It's still unbelieveable that you left this earth so quickly. It's just not the same here without ya man. I know where you are though, and it's gonna be a blast to see you again....forever alive. Love ya man...and holdin onto memories down here. Put in a good word for me Dude....I know you will. HOKIES need some help also (sorry). I can see and hear ya laughin' my brotha.....and I miss that. Cool beans!

Hey toby im misssing you like crazy every day every min.The things that hold me together are the times we spent together.It feels like yesterday when this happened my life has changed in so many ways and wish you where here with me to go threw all this you where te best freind ever..Missing you like crazy cant wait to join you!!

I only learned about Toby today when Joan Steele told me about the Foundation that now wears his name. For 10 years (1994-2004) I was the Director of Wishes at the Make-A-Wish Foundation and I am sorry never to have had Toby as one of our wish granters while I was there. From what I've read here, he is a shining example of the heart and soul of what a wish granter should be. The amazing thing is that he will be able to go on making dreams come true for these wonderful kids by lending his name and memory to the work. As his family, you must be so very proud of him and I can only begin to imagine the pain of his loss here on this earth and in your lives. I am so sorry never to have known him -- that lack is a loss to my own life.

Be well,
Terri Baines
(aka the Terri Faerie)

Well Toby, It's the New Year and things keep changing. I have moved to a different position and soon to go to another. People come and go from the group, but it just isnt the same as when you were here. I chat with your dad every now and then when you are so heavy on my mind....I hate to bother him, but now I think that the nagging feeling is just you giving me a swift kick to contact him. People come into our lives for a reason and I am so glad that you were a part, even if only for a short time, of mine. I still have the crayola portrait you drew of me...I keep it at work and look at it whenever I need that pick-me-up. Even today, you still make me smile. :)

I just had to put the cat down. It was hard. So many things are hard lately. There are so many things that the best choice is also the hardest one.

Parting with someone is always different for me. How can it be the same when I am a part of the past present and future? In some ways it's like you were never here, in some ways it's like you never left, and in some painful ways it's like you just died.

I think that's what makes the cat hard. She knew you. If you were to walk in earlier today she would have remembered you. Ashlyn never got to know you, Evan and Emma never did either. So many people and events that are so precious to me and my life are happening without you. The precious people and things that knew you won't always be around.

I know why it happens. I'm not angry that you're gone, nor do I have any trouble accepting it. I understand and am perhaps one of the few to know the reasons why.

I know I must be strong, it is my gift and it is essential for me to carry on with my purpose. Sometimes it feels though that even with the weight of the world that something else gets put on me and I just begin to crack. Maybe I kept the cat alive to long but can you blame me? I remember the day I got back to fredericksburg how the cat was there to greet me. She saw how sad I was and simply put her paw on me and let me pet her. Later she fell asleep on me. She was there through so many hard times in my life, just like you were.

I won't complain. I know my role and I know my strength. I'll do what needs to be done in honor of you, Cally, and all the others that I will be saying goodbye to all to soon. Yet another curse of being able to be in the future huh?

P.S. I hope the other people who read this don't think less of me for putting you and Cally in the same sentence but you know what I mean ;) When did I ever write for the other people anyways. Thanks for looking at me every now and again.I never feel you anymore but I feel your gaze often enough... as I do right now. Thanks for the sympathies...

Hey Toby,

Thought of you today. Its funny how you pop in and out of my life. I have some great memories of working with you. As you already know, I moved to NY for family and work and now I am moving again to Philadelphia. Can ya do something about the economy? Cant sell my house in Williamsburg, cant sell my condo in FLA, cant sell my house in Ny, and now I am getting an apartment in Phili. Im a little strapped any help with the big guy would be appreciated. Seriously, had the best time working with you eventhough it was a short run. I'll pop in again sometime.

Toby,

You've been on my mind lately, I can't explain why. I find myself angry because I never got to meet you, I find that I'm selfish and want to know that we would have gotten along and played pranks on Josh together, I want to know the funny, upbeat, caring, and outgoing person everyone says you are and I can't. I know you're in a better place and that God has good reasons for doing what he does, but I don't see them in this case. I love your brother with everything that I am and it hurts me to see how much he misses you everyday. I can't fill your place and I would never want to, but know that I do everything I can to make him happy. I wish so much that you could be at family dinners, that you could see Josh and the man he has become. I know you do keep an eye on him and all your family. I love your beautiful, warm family and I see all the time how you are missed. You have a very strong family, Toby. I miss you, and though some would say we never met, I think we have somehow. You are in my thoughts, give me strength to help people like you did.

Hey Tob,

Funny what brings me here from time to time. Your sister is turning 30 and it is a big thing for her as you were supposed to be the groundbreaker there and not her. You would not believe how she has turned out. She and her husband have given us two wonderful grandchildren. Yes, the boy still has your blue eyes. The girl of course is of royalty like her mom. Your sister has to be the best mom in the world and your brother in-law has grown so much in God, being a good husband, and a good dad that you would not even recognize him. All that is the same is his physical body as everything else has changed.

I have been sick and have wondered if I would not be seeing you sooner than planned. I am to retire in two weeks and I am so scared if I can make the finances work. The H1N1 flu has all of worried, I just want to lock us all away to keep us safe but you, and I, know how that goes, do we not?

Nathaniel’s brother is on a TV show (guess you know that but anyway) and it made me think about the songs he sang at your funeral so tonight I pulled out the video and cried my eyes out again. Sometimes I wonder why I do it and almost feel selfish when I mourn my loss of you for I have so much for which to be grateful. Your mom continues to be awesome and she loves me even when I am unlovable. Everyone says she is a saint and I will tell them no different.

I sure wish you would find a way to let the roommate who spoke at your funeral know that life will be okay. He is hurting in so many ways and he will not let me help. He needs you to let him know life is okay. That girl you loved got married and is having a baby soon. We went to her wedding but could not stay. It was beautiful but bittersweet. Your brother is doing okay and has found a girl we like. He tries hard to be a great uncle to our grandchildren. I know he is doing double duty to fill in for you. He is a real blessing. Your friends at work and elsewhere continue to amaze me. I hear from them at least once a year. Son, you made a difference in this world. I am proud of you.

Hey toby its me dustin its been along but feels like yesterday you where here, not a day go bye i dont think of you and the moments we had together, you where the best thing that ever happened to and i miss you so much.As i wake up every morning i wake up to your picture you were the one who made me whole.i cant wait to see you in heaven i live everyday now day by day and not a day does not go bye that i dont think about i truly miss you and will see you on the other side.
I miss you
Dustin

Tobster - spent all day yesterday thinking of you... Remembering the trip to Snowshoe and the teddy bear we got my nephew that rode shotgun all the way there and back - LOL To this day you can bring a smile to my face especially in my darkest moments... You will always be loved and never forgotten! Til I see you again... Much love my friend!!

Toby, Still can't believe you left this planet before all of us out here. But I know you are anxiously hoping that the rest of us will soon be in the presence of the Lord, (2nd Cor. 5:1-8)as you have been and are. I know it is beyond awesome there. I still greatly miss you, and I sometimes can, & cannot believe it's been 3 years. Thanks for letting your Light shine while you were here, and for your great friendship. Think about you often. p.s. - Save a tee time for me.....I know you've learned to play by now. - Jim

As the hour arrives, I just wanted to say I love you.

I was going to say that I think of you often. But then I realized that it's not true, I never am not thinking of you. You shade my every moment, my every action, my every breath. There is never a moment that you not being here is ok. There is never a moment that I do not ache. There is never a moment that I am not fighting to keep the pain in it's box. I have to tell you a sad memory. One time Evan and I were at a family gathering (for Bret's family). Someone walked in that is tall, thin, and blonde. Evan and I were in another room and Evan looked up. There were a lot of people and Evan's face lit up and he said TOBY! Then he realized it wasn't you and his face fell. I will always remember his little face. Ok, one of my little ones is waking up from nap so I will now inhale and continue the best I know how without you.

Hey Toby! Just updated Joannas site and wanted to swing by here and show you my love.....Alot has gone on in my life but one thing that has never changed is the fond memories I have of you! Love ya Man

Hi Toby,
I have had you on my mind all weekend and today. I miss you. You haven't been forgotten. I came on here to view your picture while at work and decided to drop you a line. Love you. -me

Hiya Tobster! Been thinking about you so thought I'd drop in... Another friend recently lost two people very close to him and is experiencing what all those that knew you felt a year and a half ago... I told him about you and how much you meant to those around you - sharing with him who you are and how my knowing you affected my life and is still affecting it to this day! He asked if I "talked" to you or if he was going crazy - ha I told him I talk to you at night in my prayers and whenever something I see or something I hear or something I smell brings back a memory we shared! Course, I told him I try not to bother you too much since you're tending your kids and don't need to hear every detail of my life every minute of the day! haha Told him to know you're always with us in spirit so you aren't really gone but for the physical sense... I still feel your hugs when I need 'em!!! Anyway, I still can't say anything in 100 words or less - hehe Think it best I remove my fingers from the keyboard now... I'll be talking to ya again real soon my dear friend! Love to your family - they, too, are in my prayers each night! Anna

Dear Toby,

I do not write too often; but, it does not mean that you are not in my thoughts and dreams almost daily. I do not write each time for if I did it would fill the Library of Congress over and over.

Tonight as the hour grows to dawn, as I sometimes do, I find myself watching a video of you. Tonight I watched part of the funeral. As my eyes hung low and filled with tears, my guttural sounds filled the room in silence. I miss you so much. It is so funny but whenever Beth(sy) and Josh are here in the same room and the phone rings, my heart still skips a beat for the only thing missing is you and I am sure it is you calling on the telephone.

I wish you could be here to see Evan’s eyes. Your nephew has your blue eyes. Of course he is not sold on me just like you, LOL. I have even shaved my beard for him so I do not make the same mistake twice.

I am rambling I know. This was meant to just be a hello. Please know I love you and that I am thankful that your death has taught me to be so much more mindful of loving your mom, your brother, your sister and other family and friends. I am trying to really live and not waste this life we are given.

Dddddddddddd

Hey Toby!! Its me Lorie, Little Joanna's Mom..Its xmas time and I couldnt think of someone more important to say hello to. We miss you here!! Jojo has gotten so big and spoiled rotten. And dont you worry still enjoying the heck out of that play ground!!!! We love you buddy!!!! xoxo

I still think about you a lot. I miss you but I know you check in every now and again even if we don't know it. Thanks for that.

Hey-
Its been a while now and this is my first entry. I worked with Toby for only a few months. He touched my heart and will never be forgotten. I truley believe that he showed me someone that I needed in my life after his passing. Eventhough this person is no longer in my life - was a major impact to it just like Toby was. He made it ok (as he always did) I miss him.
Forever in my prayers and thoughts with much thanks to him for granting me my wish. You changed my life. Thanks.

Toby and Family ~ you're in my thoughts and in my prayers daily... It's hard to believe practically a year has gone by! One of these days we shall meet again - in the interim period, I hope nothing but the best for one and all!... Although I do not say it enough, know that I love you and am always sending my best your way ;o)

So I was a little down about your birthday the other day. I went out with Whitney and she asked what was wrong. I told her it was your birthday. She started singing happy birthday to you and I sang along. It made me feel better. I miss talking to you

Hey son. I remembered and celebrated your birth at 8:34 AM today. It was a good memory. I love you. We are okay.

Happy Birthday... Now that doesn't sound quite right does it? Especially when I am feeling so sad. I wish... oh well you know already don't you... You are greatly missed. I love you.

Well Toby,

I never knew how much you liked me or anything else...however thank you for everything you have ever taught me. You have taught me so much that you never knew in this life. Thank you for the inspiration everyday!

Well Toby, Jhon and I finally tied the knot, but you already knew didn't you? I thought about you throughout this whole process, but as soon as that goofy chicken dance started to play, I couldn't help but smile, knowing you were right there. Miss you

Good job son.

Dear Toby,

As usual it is late at night, the time when I am awake trying to go back in time. Today, tonight, is the early dawn of Mother’s Day. Your mom has said all year that you have never missed a Mother’s Day even when she told you not to drive the two hours to drop in for a minute. You always ignored her and came anyway. She is hurting son. Find a way that she knows you came by.

Dad

P.S. It is okay to skip Father’s Day as long as you do Mother’s Day.

I didn't realize how hard moving was going to be. It never occured to me how much I associate it with you. You've been there to help me with every single move that I've gone through... it's just hard to not have you here for this one. You are missed... I think of you in some small way every day. I wish you were here because I have so much to tell you. I love you

I wrote you a long letter tonight but erased it. I have so many things to tell you but I will not say them. I will only say that I love you and I miss you.

Dearest Vaught Family,

I just found out about Toby's passing from the VT Alumni magazine and my heart broke. I remember so fondly our days at WCA trying to figure our way through life, discussing our future plans, fighting for the #1 spot in the class and generally giving my mom a hard time in history class.

The holidays are always so trying when someone has passed and I hope you were able to get through them with as little pain as possible.

I know Toby is looking down from heaven and smiling on all his family and friends. I look forward to seeing him again someday but until then, I will think of him fondly and keep your family in my thoughts and prayers every night.

Hey Toby! Just wanted to stop by and say hello! I was sitting her looking at Joanna's website and couldnt help but come by and say hello! Miss ya bunches.....

I remember a time when the warmth of the sun hit my shoulders
The smell of the earth moist from a spring rain filled my senses
The promise of all to come reverberated in the trees
And in my excitement I leapt towards the sky twirling midair time and time again
Falling softly back towards the land I realized you were gone
The sun had slipped away and a cold wind crept into my lungs
Grasping for air I inhaled…
…
…
The coldness so filled my chest that I was unable to take another breath
And so I was carried away by the icy gust
For months I traveled at the whim of the wind here and there and back again
In a frozen state I surveyed the landscape now void of you
I would see others also carried in the wind and yet we were all alone
All struggling to find a way to exhale the cold and to one day inhale again
Until that day I wait, not knowing if it will ever come…

You've been on my mind A LOT lately! That incredible smile of yours that brought a smile to anyone who was in the vicinity is truly missed - especially at work... I'm trying to maintain that positive attitude but it can be difficult with no Tobster hugs to re-energize me! You left an imprint on my heart my friend - I was saddened by your leaving for purely selfish reasons but that saddeness soon departed as I know you are where God intended you to be and I know you embraced Him with open arms. The beauty is that I still feel you around me - when I reach out for a friend you are there! Thank you for having been you Toby! All my love to you and to your family ~

hey guys. i wanted to tell yall toby was so great with my cusin joanna.i keep all yall in my prayers and heart.when i found out toby passed away i got teary.

We got together and tried to decide on the perfect gift for you..... We have spent much time at night....checking the sofa and Daddy's pockets for spare change....but, we did it.......Chuck can be so difficult....but White Paw can always keep him in line..you know he was rather upset about the name thing....We so hope you enjoy our gift to you.....We loved him Too.....

I really miss you today. I know that you were never one for holidays but that doesn't make it easier to go through them without you. First of all let me just state, you ever want a woman to go into mother mode then tell them that your brother died and that you aren't going home for thanksgiving. Instant Mom-mode.

Thanksgiving huh? To be honest I have a hard time feeling thankful. The problem is that I understand. I understand why you left, that it was for the best, that it's part of our loving Father's plan. It's hard though to be thankful for something that causes you so much pain. I'm happy for you Toby, really I am. These tears are selfish ones, ones that wish you were still here with me.

I suppose if there's anything I'm upset about is that you found the best way to get out of carving the turkey each year. That and I'm wondering who is going to help me whenever I move now????? Those dressers aren't going to walk themselves down three flights of stairs! I'm expecting heavenly help when I next move! I'll let you out of turkey carving but you think a little thing like death gets you out of helping me move those dressers? Fat chance!

It's amazing the little things that stick with us. It's those things that remind me of you most. Whenever I see a bee I am reminded of in Indiana lane when we were playing with the wagon. You stepped on a bee and I remember it dangling from your foot. I thought you were so brave for not crying. I always hoped that one day I'd be that brave.

You know, you and Dad always had one thing in common... to bond with either of you, one couldn't sit on the phone and chat. You had to do something together. I think I first realized that when you were 16 and started driving me to school. It's not the words that were said, it was the emotions that were felt. The conversations we had from then on might be superficial, but the things that weren't being said were filled with love. I know you love me Toby, and for that I am thankful. I guess that brings me back to the begining. I'm thankful for your love, for the 23 years I got with you, for the eternity I will get with you. Though it hurts, and I miss you every day, I am thankful. Happy thanksgiving.

I haven't signed I just read. I guess it's time... I love you and I miss you and I'm sorry we weren't closer as adults...

I added a picture... do you remember? I always smile when I look at it which I find myself doing pretty frequently. I also smile for another reason... your sister... how dare they cut her out like that... do they not know she is a princess?!! We laugh together when we look at the photo. Those were happy days.

I want to continue your work I will be to see Joanna tomarrow and finish what you started... bittersweet but healing for me. I think of you and our family every day... its the ones left behind that hurt, you are in a better place... but we do miss you so much.

I try to imagine what it must be like where you are... I keep picturing Nana cooking for you and "taking care" of you... I miss her too... I've really thought so many times over the past year "What would Nana do?" It helps me keep things in perspective.

I'm at a loss for words... (no really)... there is just a heavy sigh and a belief that God knows what he's doing... I guess.

Sometimes I think maybe you just passed this big test called life that God gives us faster than the rest of us. (you know as a child I really thought that's what it meant when they said someone passed away... I took it very literal to mean they passed and now they are away with God) Maybe there is some truth to that. Maybe you knew something or learned something that the rest of us haven't quite gotten yet... I overanalyze and I have questions and I want answers and I hate not getting what I want... I have to be patient, as with everything else it seems, and one day when I see you again I'll have all the answers.

The days and the nights pass on and on and on. I see you and hear you everywhere I go. You are never far away. I treasure all of ways you continue to reach out to let us know that you are happy and where you are supposed to be. God is awesome.

I dread the holidays yet I no longer cry every night for I know you are where you are supposed to be. We are all adjusting; but, some are having a rough time and need a special touch from Heaven. They need assurance of your love and God’s love.

Death is interesting in that it seeks to destroy but through Christ instead it heals and brings us closer to God. Everything that happens in our lives is “Father filtered”. Nothing happens by accident. He has a plan.

Son, I miss your voice and your touch but the important part of you lives on in me and grows each day. I look forward to hearing your laugh as I cross over to the other side one day. In the meantime, I look forward to the birth of our first grandchild, your nephew, Evan. Life is a circle. I am glad God controls the circle. I love you and miss you so much; yet, I am glad that you are happy and are where you are. I will see you in a twinkling of an eye.

To Toby's family:



Toby was a truly great friend. A rare find in this world. I regret very much that he and I had so little contact since leaving WCA.



His knack for finding humor in almost any situation and his compassion for others are qualities that will be sorely missed. The world is a poorer place.



I know that you will look forward, as I do, to being reunited with him. You have my deepest sympathies.

We have had several Make-A-Wish events this week that I know Toby would have loved. He also would have been such a big help! When Joanna came to the golf tournament on Thursday, I immediately thought of Toby and his excitment when he first met her. We had an event that night and he was still beaming with joy over meeting this precious little girl.

I just wanted Toby's family to know he is not forgotten and still missed very much.

Toby,

Me & Joanna attended the 8th Annual Charity Golf Tournament last night.I thought about you like crazy! Please know that we miss your smile! Your love and devotion for Make A Wish lives strong! Love Ya Buddy!

Dear Toby,



We are in a rough period right now. Today your mother listened to the first Tech game without you. She wanted to hear your "YEY!" so badly when they made their touchdown. I cleaned up the yard today from the hurricane, cut the grass, put out 100 lbs of seed and so on. I guess because of the storm I expected you to call or visit today. Today is a hard day son.



It was a lonely day. My tears are held in by a dam of emptiness.

Toby Vaught. Where do I begin? Working with him for over the past 2 years we developed a good friendship, one I will forever cherish and will deeply miss. I am blessed to have shared time and many conversations with a person who was one of the greatest people I will ever know. His beautiful smile was contagious and his personality was out of this world. I am so very thankful to have been a part of his life and will always remember Toby with love in my heart.

To the Vaught family,

I heard that Toby had passed away a few days after the fact and I am sorry that I was not able to show my respects. I had not seen toby since we graduated WCA in 1995. Since hearing of his passing I think about him often. I remember him in Miss Stones class always making a joke and helping all of us dumb kid try to understand what Miss Stone was teaching. It saddens me that I did not talk to him more before his death but by reading all of the entries on this guest book he was still the nice funny guy that I grew up with. Do know that we have not forgotten your son and we never will.

Dear Toby,



It has been a month since anyone has written in your guest book. I just want you to know that I miss you so much and that I love you. I try to fill in the gap of your presence to those you loved and who loved you .... but the gap is too huge for me to begin to fill. All I can do is to hold them tightly for you.



I just visited the site joannalee.net and clicked the Make A Wish link to see her playground. Although I cried hard it made me so proud of you. I often wondered if my children would ever know how much I loved them. Love is only love when one freely gives it away to another.



In the past few weeks I have learned how you freely gave your love to so many others. Joanna is a smiling example of the reflection of your love. I guess you did know how much I loved you.

To Toby's family:

I was glad to finally meet you at the funeral. Toby was a huge inspiration to me and to Make A Wish. I received a wish from Make A Wish a long time ago, perhaps that influenced Toby in his desire to make wishes come true.

Dear Jane and Larry:

I was so sad to hear of Toby's death today. My favorite memory of Toby was when he and I sat on your living room couch one evening after dinner singing the snail song he had learned in third grade. He was quite a good singer and is probably singing now in heaven as I write. Please know that you are in our thoughts and prayers.



This world has lost a very gentle soul.

Dear Mr. & Mrs Vaught,



There are no words to express the painful loss of such a wonderful young man. Toby was a BLESSING to everyone and I'm grateful to have known someone as caring and loving, he will surely be missed. You are in my prayers.

Larry and Jane,



Our hearts go out to you in this time as you endure the painful loss of your son.

Dearest Larry, Jane, Betsy and Josh--

Learning of Tobys'passing, after returning from a trip, we are stunned and enshrouded with a silent sadness! Even though we have been out of touch for a number of years, each member of your family comes to our minds now and again, and we would wish that we might have time together. Toby and Chris were such good lower school chums. We can never forget Tobys' gentleness, kindness, and good humor. I especially remember playing board games with him at a Virginia Beach weekend camp out. Then there were other times when "the boys" would get together-----and they were a "terrific few"! Those are days we all miss!!

Currently, Chris is in England for study. We plan not to tell him about Toby until he returns end of August, for he will find it very difficult news. Can we make a plan to see you when he returns? I hope so. Please let us know. We aren't sure where you are, so no address, etc.

Knowing that Jesus is always with us, we can be reminded that the most important things in life are not seen.

I knew toby for a little, He was a nice caring person.There was nothing that he would not do for anyone.The bond that me and toby had was a great bond.I will always miss all the times we hung out together was great.But know i set back and look back on a friend that i never had before. I love you and always miss you but will see you again one day.

Dear Larry and Family,

Our hearts are deeply saddened to hear of the loss of your son. From reading everyone's notes he was a wonderful person and lived life to the fullest, just like you Larry. May God Bless you and your family.

Sincerely,

Nancy Tinsley

Donahoe Elementary (now retired!)

My thoughts and prayers go out to your family. Toby was a wonderful person and he will be greatly missed.

This is so hard to comprehend. Toby was an outstanding guy who will be missed dearly. Although its hard to see him go, we know hes in a better place, and one day we'll see him again. Vaught Family- My prayers and thoughts are with you

My deepest condolences to the Vaught family.



I had the privledge of working with Toby at Northrop Grumman. He could always be counted on to lend a helping hand, gladly and was always smiling. I was blessed to have had the opportunity to work with such a wonderful young man.



Victoria Nicholls

I am so sorry for your loss. May God bless you and your family and comfort you in your time of sorrow. My prayers and thoughts are with you.

My thoughts and prayers go out to the Vaught family.



I will miss and value everyday his everlasting smiles, his vitality, his sense of humor and his genuinely sincere kindness.



I will also treasure the countless conversations of our common interest in food and cooking.



And most of all he was a gentleman!

Jane,Larry and Family,

Our thoughts and prayers go out to you at this time of great loss of your precious son,Toby. Know that people whom you haven't seen in years know of your loss and feel your sorrow. God's strength will sustain you as you look to Him for comfort.

I am so lucky to have known Toby. We were wish partners but, I felt a very special friendship developing. I will always remember your smile and your high level of professionalism. You are the best. So spread your wings and fly for now you are a butterfly.

Toby was a very special person. Everytime I seen him at work he was always smiling and laughing and every time we would pass you could count on him saying "wassssuppp". He will be missed a great deal. My prayers go out to his family and if his family needs anything feel free to contact me. God Bless. <3