Gary Betts Obituary

Pam,
Please accept my sincere condolences for your loss. I'm Jerry Deni, and had worked with Gary when he first joined HLM. I was his counterpart in the Orlando office of HLM until 1993, and recall the many times we would get together with Doug Larsen in Chicago. I last saw Gary at the national convention in Chicago (either 2003 or 2004.) Gary was a wonderful person, and although I was much older, treasured his assistance and help in comparing specifications for our respective branch offices. It was a privilege to have worked with him.

Dear Pam,

I just now heard about Gary. I am so sorry and in disbelief of the news I have heard. I had no idea that Gary was sick and feel terrible that I had missed talking or seeing him during his time of illness. I feel awful that I missed his services as well. I will always remember Gary as not only a wonderful Boss, but as a very dear friend, person and human being. He was always so caring, patient, hard working and understanding. He adored nothing and no one more than he did you. I hope your lifetime of memories and happiness together will comfort you in your time of sorrow. I am so sorry Pam for your loss. Words cannot express my deepest, heartfelt sincere condolences.

Our prayers will be with you. Love, Kim and Paul Henry and Family

Dear Aunt Pam,

After listening to his brother's speech this weekend, I got the notion to Google Uncle Gary today during some of my free time (which, at the moment, I seem to have a lot of!), and after reading through an extensive list of his accomplishments and accolades, I found this! Since I didn't get much time to talk to you at the funeral, I hope that this will suffice in its stead.

There was so much that went through my mind on Saturday night: how little I actually knew about my Uncle Gary, how tragically young he was at the time of his death, and how I took for granted his constant, comforting presence at all our family gatherings.

I remembered the way Gary used to sit with one leg crossed over the other, feet adorned with sandals, and the way he used to pace the pile of presents at Christmastime, stroking his beard as he contemplated his gift of choice when we played "The Game."

As I sat in the pews, I was amazed at his many accomplishments--none of which I had ever known about, such was his sense of modesty--and even more so by the number of lives he had touched during his time…including my own.

Probably my favorite memory of Uncle Gary was when we (the Williams clan) hosted the annual Christmas party at our house one year, and knowing that Gary was practically an Iron Chef, I refused to cook anything--lest he judge me on the tenderness of my roast, or the whip on my soufflé. When mom finally convinced me to make two, simple loaves of pumpkin bread, I shuddered at the thought of Gary taking a contemplative bite, and then immediately spitting it out in an orange spray of disgust. What's more, my little fantasy then went into greater detail, as the Gary in my mind's eye (with some mysteriously acquired French accent) pronounced his distaste in words unsuitable for my teenage ears.

When Gary actually did take a bite of my pumpkin creation, however, he smiled. He could not have known the wave of relief that washed through me at that very moment, or the well of pride that burst in my heart when he asked who had made it, and my mom said "Kaylee." He didn't judge or critique, spit or swear, he simply smiled...and took another piece.

Pam, I am so deeply sorry for your loss. In a lot of ways, I think that my mom and dad are close to experiencing the love that you and Gary shared--and the thought of seeing such a bond of companionship, friendship and adoration break is heart wrenching. We will always remember Gary. His absence at this year's Thanksgiving and Christmas celebrations will not go unnoticed--but his life was one for which we can all be proud. I know that I am proud to call Gary Betts my uncle, and from now and for the rest of my life, I will always think of him when I make my special pumpkin bread.

Love,
Kaylee Williams

Gary and Pam have been wonderful friends for over 20 years. Gary will be sorely missed by all who knew him. His dry humor was a pleasure and he was one of the kindest people I ever knew.

Dear Pam,

My name is Jesse Lewis. I was Gary’s college roommate in the 1970-71 and 1971-72 school years at Iowa State University. The first year Gary and I roomed together in Wallace Hall’s Errington House and the second year we lived off-campus. The second year we lived at 2817 West Street.

When Gary and I met I was 23, fresh from Vietnam, with one year of Architecture at ISU in 1966-67; and Gary was 17 (or 18) fresh from Iowa City High School. At the time and upon initially meeting each other, I’m sure we both thought the challenges of college life just got a little more complicated. However, after a couple of harried weeks of orientation, we settled in to our academic lives; and by the end of the first month, the lines between our lives, experiences and ages had quickly blurred. The first year went by very fast. It must have been a comfortable year for us both because we decided to room together off-campus the next year.

During our two years, Gary and I did not spend a lot of social time together. He had his friends and interests and I mine. However, we spent many hours commiserating and sharing the fundamental housekeeping basics of two college boys who were serious and private about individual purposes. I do not remember meeting Gary’s parents, his brother or you but I do remember him telling me a about his parents who were very important to him and I think I remember him mentioning you. And, there’s a distant part of me that wants to remember more but I cannot.

I do remember early in Gary’s first year that he got involved with the ISU players building sets for stage events. He loved that work. I remember him drifting in late at night physically tired but mentally energized by the experience. I also remember he enjoyed the people he met through this work and they became an important part of his university life.

Gary and I drifted our separate ways after the second school year. I think most of the reasons were about me pursuing a relationship with a young woman I met in Landscape Architecture who I later lived with for several years but did not marry. I do not remember where Gary landed the 72-73 year and after graduating in November 1973, I remember talking with Gary once when he was in graduate school, sometime before you and he were married. The conversation was a “hey, how are you doin” conversation. Neither one of us took notes or promised to stay in touch. So, we lost touch.

Even though I lost track of Gary, I will never forgot knowing him. As I remember him now, I can’t remember significant details but I do remember we spent a lot of time in very close proximity. He was always helpful when I asked and was never imposing or threatening. He was never judgmental and never made me feel that I needed to be anyone other than who I was. As I have lived 36 years since I last saw Gary, I have not met many people I can say the same thing about. So, I know he was an important person in my life as I know he was in yours.

I do remember one evening when Gary had returned from a stage set building party he was a little loopy. I asked him how much he had consumed; he said two glasses of very good wine. I remember thinking what a cheap date; and at the same time, I knew Gary was inebriated with the work and the atmosphere of the event and the two glasses of wine just put him over the top.

I’m not surprised he asked for “one helluva good party”.

As I told Abigail Clary at LS&H, today I will be attending an ISU football game. I’ll drive by Wallace Hall and our old West Street house; and as you raise a glass, I will too and say bon voyage to your husband and my old friend..

Please let Gary’s Mom and Dad, and his friends and colleagues at LS&H and CSI know am remembering Gary and it’s all good.

There are so many reasons that Gary will be missed. Here are just a few:
His sense of humor and the ready smile that twinkled his eyes.
His kind and gentle nature. (Both to people and to dogs).
His bread (that man could cook!)
His enjoyment of life and appreciation for simple pleasures.
The way he so obviously loved and cherished Pam.
John, Erin and I share in your feeling of loss. We're happy to have known him for 28 years. John and I plan to be with you on Saturday.

Dear Pam,
I have spoken to you several times, but unfortunately had never met you. I am the receptionist at LSH.
I just wanted to tell you that Gary spoke so highly of you. Gary was a very kind and wonderful person.
I send you my condolences and hope that you are doing okay.
I will miss Gary.

Gary was the consumate professional while keeping meetings interesting and light. I will miss working with him, as I have been calling on Gary for decades and we have solved many complex problems with "the greatest of ease"
Gary will be missed by many

Dear Pam,
You probably don't remember me but I worked with Gary at HLM in Iowa City and also in HLM's Chicago office. I really enjoyed working with Gary. His nature made work easy and fun. He will be missed.
Our prayers go out to you and your family.

It was my pleasure to have been on the board of directors at CSI with Gary. He will be missed, our thoughts and prayers go out to his family for your loss. He touched so many with his friendship and work.

Pamela, our thoughts and prayers are with you. Words just can't express how much Gary will be missed by all his friends, family, associates, and extended family at CSI. He was a mentor, a leader, and good friend for which I was lucky enough to have known! Grab hold of those closest to you and hold on, as they will help you through this tragic loss and into the future.

Pamela,
I was very saddened when I heard of Gary's passing. Please accept my condolence for your loss. Gary was a man who inspired so many with his soft spoken words and ability to bring calm and rational thinking to almost any otherwise stressful situation, for these things and a host of other things he will not be forgotten. I will miss him.

Pamela,
Gary was a great friend and unbelievable CSI member whose contributions will be remembered for many years. I am so sorry that we have lost him.

Pamela,
I was hoping to attend the memorial service for Gary, but unfortunately the timing conflicts with our Pittsburgh CSI chapter's 50 anniversary dinner on September 6th. In spirit I will be there with you to celebrate his life and wonderful memories. He was my mentor, a great leader, and a good friend who will always stay close to my heart.
He will be greatly missed by all of us who knew him. God be with you.
Love, Sandra Hundley, FCSI

Pam, Wendy and I extend to you our condolences. I know that I, along with many others, will miss Gary and all that he meant to CSI.

I am so sorry to hear of your loss. Gary and I met multiple times at CSI functions, and I remember him for hit charm, wit, and humor.

CSI, NCR and all the members will miss Gary, not only because of his dedication to the organization, but because of his delightful and wry sense of humor, his unswerving sense of honor, and his extensive knowledge of all things CSI. He was a positive influence to all he encountered and his impact will remain.

Pamela;
I was so sorry to hear of your loss. The thoughts of many are with you at this time of sorrow. Gary will truly be missed by many of his CSI family of friends. He was an excellent mentor, always a calming influence in the 'eye of the storm' and an excellent leader that gave selflessly of his time. His legacy will live on for many, many years to come. I know it is hard during this time of grief, but know that he affected a great many people's lives in a very positve way; that is certainly worth celebrating! My thoughts and prayers are with you and your family.

Pamela,
During many telephone conversations you spoke of happy events which occurred throughout your life with Gary. You are blessed with loving memories and are lucky to have had a soul mate.
With deepest wishes.

Gary was a wonderful friend. We shared many thoughts as to the value of CSI in our lives. I am saddened by his passing, and wish the best to Pamela and family.

The Construction Specifications Institute is deeply saddened that we have lost such a wonderful friend and dedicated member. Gary’s service to our organization over the course of his life was incredible and his legacy will certainly live on. We’re proud to include him in the elite group of CSI Distinguished Members.

Dear Pam.
It has been a long time - too long. Gary and I worked together at HLM. He was always easy to work with and a good problem solver. I am sorry I did not keep up with him more over the years. We had lunch several times and talked on the phone a few times. I thought of him often and wished I could have worked with him again. I will miss him.

Mary Ellen & I offer our condolences to you and your family.
Sincerely,
Jack & Mary Ellen Lesniak