William Misik Obituary

CARPE DIEM my talented son!
Your Foundation has done so much for students...just like you wanted it to do!!!

Billy - thinking of you and sending hugs. Mom is still teaching and being a mom to so many
Anthony is a great dad of two now and we are blessed
God bless you always
Enjoy continued singing with the angels ! Mr and. Mrs. S

Think of you often Billy. You left an unforgettable mark on my life and so many. As you know I retired from teaching this year and yes I miss it sept he students . They all are my joy and you inspired me to become a better teacher Carpe diem.. say hi to my sister. Gayle who died this year with brain cancer as well.
Love you.
Mr and Mrs. S

As I sit working on music, I am constantly remembering our times at the piano. From little on you were always singing...and directing me!!! Dad and I would watch you in wonder as you lived every piece of music. It was as if you were floating inside the notes.
What wonderful memories you have left for me. I know you and Dad are collaborating on many theatrical and musical adventures. Please, remember, I am feeling all you had done and are doing right now. You see, you are in every song I sing and in everything I teach to my wonderful students. It all comes through me from you, my Billy. Just had to tell you.
Carpe Diem,
In love and song.................Mom

Hello my son. It has been a few months since I have written in the Legacy book. However, I so know you have an incredible legacy of your life.
In a few weeks, you will have incredible friends and mentors running in your name for ABTA at the Chicago Marathon. Deb, Mr. J., Beth, and so many others who care for the success of the run and have unselfishly contributed.
I just know you are watching over them all.
I also know you are watching over those students who are pursuing Theatre and Music as a career.
So many are already performing on Broadway and in Professional Theatres around the country. Others are singing in concert halls and teaching. The list goes on and on.

You have always made me so proud to be your mom. You have always been a devoted friend to others.
You continue to work those "little miracles" from your heavenly job post!

Thank you, my son. No words tell you how much I miss you. But through all of this you have made me a better person, and a better teacher.
Carpe Diem......In love and song...Mom

Billy - yesterday we buried my dad and I am sure you greeted him . He was a gift to my mom and all of us kids . The Cincinnati enquirer wrote a nice article titled " a brilliant family man ". He loved music and appreciated the arts You would have liked him because he was passionate about everything in life . Anyway , I ,missed your service but thoughts and prayers went out to you mom and dad . Mr S birthday was over shadowed by my dad's passing as we'll. know you are in our thoughts always and keep the good things happening for us all who loved you ! Carpe diem as I love working on the shows with my students so rewarding !
Love you mr and mrs s Anthony , Audrey , brandan and Carrie

My Friend,

It's hard to believe that it's been 8 years. After all this time, you are still thought of with such love and your memory is absolutely cherished. We were all lucky to have known you, and moreso to have called you our friend.

In your honor, I've brought back Team Carpe Diem. Billy, you're making me run again! This time we're not just running 1 half marathon, we're running 2 (!!) in addition to the full Chicago Marathon!!! It's a year of running and I'm honored to do it for you.

We miss you, dear friend.

Carpe Diem.

My Dearest Billy,
Happy New Year!!!!!
Heard the bell ringing this morning. Thank you.

This is going to be a wonderful year, October 12th, your birthday, is the date for the Chicago Marathon. Many of your friends are planning on running!

Very exciting. Plans in the making.

Today it is snowing, snowing,snowing....but it is beautiful. Reminds me of another day of beautiful snow. You remember, I am sure.

So my sweet, please care for my students and for your friends. They are incredible people, and certainly make my life complete.

Love to all, my dearest, and keep singing for me.

Carpe Diem...in love and song,
Mom

My Dear Billy,
Merry Christmas! Knowing you, dad, and all of our family are together is a testament to the power of love.

Do you know what a better person you have made me? Well you have. I look at life and my career, teaching incredible students the gift of music...and I see a blessing beyond words. Yes, only music can interpret those feelings.

I have a "heavenly family", but I also have an "earthly family" .....all of my students and their families, and my friends who confirm the beauty of life and the strength of commiting to all we do in our lives.

Mass was offered for you and dad today. I had time to just sit and breathe in the "you" around me. When I got home, (and YES, poured myself a cup of coffee!!!), I just sat in the living room. All of a sudden the chimes rang. They always ring at JUST the right times. Do I believe it is you and dad wishing me a Merry Christmas and Birthday? Boy I sure do!!! I do because of all of the miracles that happen daily in my life.

Thank you...all of you...for creating in me the absolute love of music, and the love of sharing that music with others. No greater gift could there be.

Carpe Diem, my son. In love and song...Mom

My Dearest Billy,

October 12th.....It is your 29th Birthday! Happy Birthday, Billy!

I know you are missing my Midori Cake for your birthday, but probably are enjoying elegant cakes and entrees in the heavenly kitchen! If you remember, I was not the best at cooking and YES...I did leave the bag on the inside of the turkey and YES..it did explode. But memories are so worthwhile.

Memories are definitely what I have of you and your friends. It is the memories and keep me going...the positive moments of song and dance and acting that you brought to so many.

We are going to see you at Windridge on Saturday. I know you are in a better place, but it is important to feel close to those memories.

Remember it is Betty's Birthday also. Caregiver and Patient....such a connection. How she loves you.

You know how much I wish for God to turn back time. But time will feel like nothing when we meet again. We will just pick up where we left off. And we certainly will have quite a Birthday Bash.

So, my son, love to dad, grandma and grandpa and Michael and Jason and all. Keep praying for me and that which is yet to be accomlished in this life. There is so much yet to do. I definitely need your support.

Carpe Diem, my boy.
In love and song,
Mom

Dear Billy,
Last Saturday I had the honor of joining your 2003 LZHS class for their 10 year reunion. Missy and Shaina and Dave and their team put together a wonderful evening.
Billy, your friends are some of the most incredible young people I have ever met. You know that though, now don't you. They spoke of you with such caring in their heart. It was as if God knew I needed that "soul" lift, and they ALL gave it to me.

Some had tears in their eyes when they saw me and I know I had tears in mine. Billy, these friends have all done wonderful things with their lives. You would be SO proud of them. All I know is that I will NEVER forget that evening. You were right with me you know. Never far. They even donated toward the Foundation. It was remarkable and so humbling.

Thanks, Billy, for bringing your friends into MY life. You know you are IN MY LIFE every breadth.

Carpe Diem.
In love and song, my son,
Mom

My Dear Billy,
It has been a few months since I have written, but every second I have you with me. You know that. This school year was very busy, but very rewarding. Chapperoned a trip with the choirs Italy. 110 students and 12 chapperones ...yes...they sang at the Vatican and other churches and were a great representation of music at LZHS.
So many of the places we visited were places you and I had seen together. Please don't think me weak, but my heart felt empty as I looked at shops and historical sites and places you and I sat....ate...laughed...and felt the joy of seeing each other so happy.

Here it is ..... the summer. I am teaching, reduced schedule till the Fall, and using my time to organize.

Uncle Jim leaves to go fishing. Know that he thinks of all the places you traveled in the boat and all the fish you caught and cleaned, every time he heads to Wisconsing.

So, my son, I ask for your prayers. Prayers for my health and prayers for the work I am doing and have yet TO DO.
Embrace all of our family for me, please.

I miss you.
Carpe Diem...in love and song,
Mom

Billy,
Very exciting news that deserves a separate e-mail. I got to go with Mrs. L and Sara as she looked and selected her wedding dress. It was such an exciting time. She looks beautiful...just beautiful. Great choice.

Also, Bob is advancing in his Sound Design work in the city. It is very exciting for him and he is very adept at all areas in this field.

Had to share this special add on with you.
In love and song...forever,
Mom

My Dearest Billy! I just know you have spent 7 years watching all of us create, dream, achieve and become "Team Carpe Diem"! We all feel your presence in our lives....I hear your goodness from your friends daily. Little things that light up our lives and put this earthly home in perspective.

Today, Mr. J pulled out a piece of music for Mrs. D to play for an upcoming concert. He just reached into the manilla envelope...then he said "This has Billy's name on it"! sure enough...it was your piece from an IMEA District Concert. Your markings were all over it. That is the music Mrs. D. chose to play from...and that was a part of you sharing the music...always sharing the music.

After Mass this morning, Lenore, Edie, Betty and I had breakfast....gosh did we reminisce about all of the glorious moments you have opened our eyes to in these years. We acknowledge life's glory with the brilliance of your moments. They come unsuspecting...but we all know they are from you. Somehow we just know.

Heard from so many of your friends and their parents today. Uncle Jim called first thing this morning. Isn't it wonderful to make a mark on so many? Melissa is due in Feb. and is having a little girl, Ashley is a DOCTOR and Aubyn is singing and carrying on her career, Brian and Annie have a little boy, and April's little girl will be ONE YEAR OLD this week! They always remember.....their dear friend.

Mrs. S.K and I went to the cemetery. She made an absolutely artistic blanket for you and dad. It was laden with tree branches and had holly and there were tiny twigs that stood tall, in the middle of the design, just like they were heralding heaven. I know you saw it. She brought it right before Christmas, and it still stands confident. How appropriate for you and the strength you always had in everything you tackled.

Well, my son, your work speaks for itself...the work of the heart...the care of others...especially your friends. I miss you every second, but I know how you would want us all to live our lives...creating, achieving and dreaming. thank you....

In love and song...Carpe Diem!
Mom

My Dear Billy,
Happy Thanksgiving my boy! Wanted to also have you kiss your Grandma Mary for me. It is her birthday!!!!!!!!! How I wish you could have known her...BUT...wow...now you get to be with her always. I am going to Mass tomorrow for you both.

Saw Mrs. S. today. She is doing well. Lots of exciting things happening in her family this year.

The recital was wonderful. You would have been so proud of the students. Somehow I know you are.

Well, my dearest. I love you so so much. You are always in my heart and soul....in every song...and on and on.

Carpe Diem...in love and song,
Mom

Billy- "Another opening another show" this past weekend I directed "Loving Lives" a fantastic, funny play . The kids were amazing and your spirit was there . In my message in the program I mentioned Carpe Diem which always brings YOU into the day. Can't believe how the time goes on. I don't see mom much we are both busy doing what we do with students but I do miss her sharing time together. I know she has been really busy and has enjoyed numerous events with people who were in your life . That is awesome. Miss that smile of so many years gone by - I did see Lesley (Alexis mom) she came to my show and was if the spirit of time past was there....
Brandan is getting married next Oct 5th and Anth is on the right path now - thanks for being with him we are proud of him.. memories are still vivid my little buddy.. Tom and I talk about you often ... We are Thankful for life
Love and blessings
Mrs S

My Dearest Billy,
This weekend, Deb and Melissa ran the Wine and Dine Disney half marathon. They ran for Team Carpe Diem! They ran for their love of you, my son. Never could I begin to explain how I felt as they came around the corner and down the final feet to the finish line. I will always remember the joy I could only imagint you were experiencing. I felt it...that joy,,, and could feel you hugging me and hugging them at the same time. They kept your SONG going forward. Never once did either wonder HOW they were going to do this....they just DID IT!

Rob, Deb's boyfriend and her mom and dad were also there. It was such a great time. We saw the Christmas Opening Parade at the Magic Kingdom....again...pictures I will never forget.

So many friends whose lives you have jump-started and who are working harder than I even think they could, to achieve the impossible...academically, physically, spiritually and personally. My gosh Billy, you have made us all be better.

I knew you were sitting in those bleachers right with me. Just felt you there. Yes....this was life-changing for me. It was just like you said..."Carpe Diem"....Seize Every second and every thought....just don't take life for granted and don't take others passively.

So, my boy, we will talk again, I know. Kiss dad for me and all my family. I love you.

Carpe Diem,...in love and song,
Mom

Dearest Son,

When you read Deb's entry....well...you must be singing to every end of the heavens! I know I am crying with joy. Thank you for all you have given to so many. I thank God every day for you.

Talk again when I return.
Carpe Diem
In love and song,
Mom

Dear Billy,

Tomorrow is the official start of our journey to the finish line of the half marathon. Rob, Melissa, and I are all headed to Orlando tomorrow with your mother and my folks joining us on Friday.

I cannot fully put into words just how extraordinary this experience has been. Sure, we've encountered our share of challenges, but the support we've received has been humbling to say the least. You'd be so proud, my friend. Thank you for pushing me to go beyond my limits and to accomplish more than any of us thought possible.

Do you want to know a secret? I told everybody that the race was a fundraiser for the American Brain Tumor Association- and it is. We've raised nearly $2400. However, the primary reason for this race is to celebrate YOU! What better way to celebrate than with a banquet of food and wine in Disney World. We will toast to you all weekend. You will be with us, as you have been, every moment, every step, and every mile. You'll be in our hearts as we run and by our side as we cross the finish line. I just wish you could be here to see it in person.

You are thought of and missed every single day by so many. Take care, my sweet friend.

Carpe Diem.

My dear friend,

Today is your birthday. Your 28th. How I wish you were here to celebrate.

As you've undoubtedly figured out by now, my best friend Melissa and I are running a half marathon in your honor in just over 4 weeks. You'd LOVE Melissa. I could easily see the two of you being fast friends. My boyfriend, Rob, is making the trip to Disney, as are my folks, and your Mom. She's such a special lady. It's very easy to see where your sense of family and generosity came from- not to mention your heart. I'm so very lucky that you connected the two of us.

Today is the 5th and final game in the Yankees' Division Series. That seems like a strange thing to say here, but I was laughing about it earlier. We were in voice and diction and class was about to start. You asked me if I liked baseball and I answered yes. You asked if I like the Yankees. Again, a resounding yes. You took a deep breath and said, "Teach me everything you know about the Yankees." To which I responded a very eloquent, "In 5 minutes?!" We started to talk about the Yankees' retired numbers, but then class started. We never had our big Yankee conversation. You left after that semester, but I called you from the parking lot of Yankee Stadium every time I attended a game that summer. The Yankees make me think of you. It's fitting that the final game of the series is today- your day.

I also remember asking you why you liked the Yankees and not the Cubs or the Sox. Your answer was simple, and as you answered, your eyes danced: "Magic." That's YOU, Billy. YOU were magic.

I miss you so much, but today more than others. I'm sure you're watching the game and have a great seat. By now you've probably met up with the Yankee greats and they're teaching you the finer points of the great game of baseball.

Cheers, my friend, to everything you accomplished, everything you taught, and all that you gave so that others might smile.

Carpe Diem.

My Dearest Billy,

Your Birthday is Friday, Oct. 12th, and I thought this year I would write to you earlier. Will be bringing your Fall flowers to you today, along with your traditional pumpkin! Betty is going with me. I know what you are thinking, but, I am your mom and these traditions are near to impossible to break!!!!

Uncle Jim is having his chemo again today, and is really being confident with each treatment. I know it is hard for him, but he never complains.

Yes, all of your dear friends are really doing some incredible things. Amanda and Mr. J ran the Chicago Marathon yesterday, just some you would know, and I am sure were pulling for in your "prime view" location!!!!

Tim is getting married to Katie in Dec. So happy for them. Andy R. is getting married in Nov. April and Adam's little girl is growing and so is Lisa's niece....Steph is working on her Masters as is Sara and Patrick. Carley is working and doing well..Melissa and Dave are very good, as is Aubyn..Jon C. and Mike VC...and Mike L.and the list could go on and on and on and on and on.

Have to let you know, that as time goes on, I miss so much of what "would be". That sounds selfish, as I know you are in eternal bliss...yet...it is difficult.

I was thinking that one really good thing, is how I wonder what you are doing? Singing and acting...that is a for sure....meeting all sorts of people...learning new things...fishing...exercising...seeing stars and the moon from the best seat in the house...and watching all of your friends succeed...and sharing in their joy...and praying for us all! Guess it doesn't get much better than that.....at least that is my vision.

You and dad bring everything that is good and hopeful into my life. Thank you for that and so, so much more. I have learned the importance of what life has to offer, and even if life takes what we treasure most....God holds on to it till we meet again. Pretty cool!

So, my son, feel my heart and soul and all of the music I can bring to you every day. Happy, Happy 28th Birthday!

Carpe Diem,
In love and song,
Mom

My Billy,
Just had to write and let you know that Deb. H. is running a half-marathon at Disney in November of this year. She and her friend, Melissa are calling their Team..."Team Carpe Diem"!!!! Guess who their motivation is? Well, they have already met their goal and now are expanding it.....Deb is one incredible young woman. I got to visit with her a little during my Conference in Florida.

Thank you for encouraging all of us to do and be more than we ever expected we could be.

Will write again soon...but had to tell you this.

Carpe Diem,
In love and song,
Mom

My Dearest Billy,

Today is Mother's Day.....but....I really want to give all of this day to YOU! As I was reflecting at church this morning, I couldn't help but embrace the fact that everything you stood for and the strength you showed all of your life...the music and theatre you gave to us all to remember...that is what has made me celebrate today so fully! You have made me so proud....daily...I thank God for you.

Today at Mass, Jeff had the choir sing Caccini's Ave Maria...the song you sang for Dad's funeral and the song Tim sang for you. My heart heard those notes all over again and again. I felt you singing right next to me.

Throughout the year, and especially today, your friends always remember to call or write to me. What a gift you have given to me...not just on Mother's Day, but always. I really KNOW I am the most blessed mother because I have hundreds of children to care for and encourage and share in their successes in all fields.

I ask you, Billy, to watch over them all and their families....all of our friends. Uncle Jim and I went to the cemetery today.....we celebrated you...we were so thankful for such a glorious blue sky, sunny day!

The school year is coming to a very fast close...another year of music and theatre that these students have made their own. You would be proud of them as well, Billy.

Thank you, my son. You have made me feel like the "Happiest Mother in the World"
Carpe Diem!
In love and song,
Mom

Billy- Can't believe it's been 6 yrs. I remember being there with mom when you passed on to God. That memory is vivid and it sustains me when I think of leaving life here and dying.
You were a very brave young man , who endured the suffering and pain for some time with courage. Sorry to have missed being with mom , Jim and others yesterday.
Tom and I were with my mom who is getting chemo for bone cancer. I wanted to be there to lend comfort and help as she is far away . She has a great spirit a lot like yours People gravitate to her, they like her sincere friendliness and humorous ways. She is so kind , gentle and faithful- not an enemy in the world. When we saw her Dr she had to hug and thank him and all the nurses for a good 1st experience in chemo. Please wrap your angel arms around her to lesson the pain. You helped Brandan when he had cancer and gave me strength and I know you give strength to so many .
We all miss you and there are days when I see your spirit in the room with my students. Mom is as wonderful as ever but she misses you . She is doing great things with students as you know. God bless you and keep you.
Carpe diem! Love you, Denise, Tom, Brandan, Anth Audrey

My Dearest Billy,

The ability to "remember" certainly is double-sided. Six years ago, I remember watching you close your eyes and, I am sure, walk into Our Father's arms in Heaven. How wonderful for those greeting you there, yet how empty it was for me and those who so love you here on earth.

My heart occupies both sides of that memory. Because I was so blessed to know your character, I know you want us all to keep giving and growing in all we do. You are so loved. Let me share some news.

Keeping our fingers crossed....April and Adam were hoping their Addison would arrive today. Waiting for the news! Keep blessing them.

Saw Lisa and her mom, Andi, Dearest Betty and Incredible Uncle Jim, and Patti Romonds mom today! Lisa and Andi are teaching and doing great in their jobs. So wonderful to hear them talk about their days. Lisa is also choreographing for "Grease" at her school.

Lots of your friends are back in school or working. All doing well. Saw Cat the other day and met her friend Justin. Really great guy. Cat is also doing well at her job!

I could go on and on.....Jonathan is working in the city...Steph is back at school...Mike is back at CCM. Would need a book to capture all that your friends are accomplishing. Heard from Anthony and talked to Deb the other day, and Sara, who is singing and Bob who is teching, and Patrick is also singing, singing, singing, and Aubyn, performing with Farraday, and Melissa, and Dave....all doing well.

How blessed am I to be surrounded by such great great people. Well, just know that I am always holding you close and listening, in my heart to your singing. You are always with me.

Miss you so...
Carpe Diem,
In love and song...forever, my son,
Mom

My Dearest Billy,

Please keep Carley and her family close to you. Her dad had some heart issues, they put in a stint, some complications, but he is home now. Just know that she thinks about you all the time. They are a wonderful family.

Thanks, my song, Carpe Diem,
In love and song...forever,
Mom

My Dearest Billy,

Just came home from Midnight Mass and had to tell you what happened this evening.

You always give me and your loving friends "those Billy signs" throughout our days and years. We talk about them and never with skepticism...always with certainty. Well, this evening was one of those signs. Actually today had many.

When I was born, Dec. 24th....(let's forget the year!!!!!!!) My mom and the nurses at the hospital all sang "Silent Night" From the time my mom told me that story, I always carry her heart with me ever so close when that song is sung or played.

Your very FIRST Christmas, I remember singing "Silent Night" to you as I rocked you to sleep on Christmas Eve. You were only 2 months old on that Christmas...but we sang it every Christmas after that...you and I. The memories that surround this piece of music always bring me a peace that is unexplainable.

This evening, at Midnight Mass, after Communion, our Pastor, Fr. Ryan, asked for anyone who had a birthday on Christmas Eve or Christmas Day to come to the front of the altar. There were three of us, two men and myself. He congratulated us all and then turned...picked up the baby Jesus and asked me to process to the manger and lay the baby Jesus in the crib. I think you know what I was thinking Billy. I remember laying you in your crib. My heart was overjoyed. At that instant, I knew you were near, because as we turned to go back to our seats, the choir and orchestra began singing .....sure, you already probably knew....yes... "Silent Night". A thousand pictures flooded my mind walking back to my chair. I picked up my music and sang those verses with all my heart could handle....just for you.

Also, Tom and Denise S. , Anthony, Brandan, Carrie and her family were at church. Denise was crying tears of hope and love....she knew...she could sense what I was feeling. Good friends become linked to your special memories.

Now, thanks you, my son, for all of the miraculous gifts brought to me today. The perfect sunny day, the little touch of snow on your bow at the cemetery,( when there was none around you at all)..and of course, this evening. Thank you....

Merry Christmas....and remember the closing words to this song...."sleep in heavenly peace....sleep in heavenly peace"

Carpe Diem,
In love and song...forever,
Mom

My Dearest Billy,

Merry Christmas!!! Somehow I just know that you, Dad, Grandma and Grandpa are singing in the heavenly choir! This Midnight Mass I will also be singing and thinking of you all and the memories we so cherish.

Billy, one of the most memorable was your first Christmas. You were all dressed up in your Christmas attire and in the choir loft at church. Dad was conducting. You were just a couple months old and you were so good. As soon as the singing and the instruments started to play you were listening and didn't make a sound! Perhaps that was the catalyst for your love of music and theatre?

So many wonderful memories. I believe I could write volumes of stories, and they would overflow a library! All of those volumes would tell the world what a difference you made in so many lives.

There would not be enough space to write about all of the accomplishments of your friends and their families. No doubt you have stood by them as they pursue their careers and as they handle their life challenges. They know that, because they tell me all about it! The Billy Moments! I have them all the time....as you guide me in my work.

If I can digress to being a little selfish? Thanks for the absolutely beautiful day! The sun is shining....NO SNOW!!!...and a wonderful year! I don't like the word "older" at all! I like to think that your "Pay it Forward" wish for everyone along with your love of life has been the best "gift" for my life. But, perhaps the one saying that has impacted my life the most is "Carpe Diem" ( I have the shirt you designed with that message)...."Carpe Diem" (Seize the Day)! It is that hopefulness that makes me so grateful for my friends and my wonderful students (past and present)! Their successes are what encourages me.

You taught me about how to live life...my job is to teach that message. How proud you would be of everyone.

Tonight we will be singing "Silent Night".....that was the first Christmas Song I learned and it was also the first Christmas song I taught YOU. So tonight WE will be singing it together just like we had always done since you were born.

My dearest son, please keep watch over Uncle Jim and his family, and over all of your friends, and their families and all of my friends and STUDENTS. Keep their hearts hopeful and always yearning to do more in their work and their families.

Well, tonight WE will be singing together. Remember "OUR FIRST" Christmas, as I held your hand and sang to you...and remember TODAY. There was never a LAST Christmas, Billy. Who knows that better than you. We will share an eternity of Silent Nights......."sleep in heavenly peace...."...and so you are....so you are!

Carpe Diem,
In love and song, my son,
Mom

Billy- Great seeing mom and celebrating Betty's birthday as well as remembering this fantastic young man who shared so much with is in such a short time.... you.
Happy Birthday !- what a beautiful day ..the sun was shining and memories of your 16th birthday .

The music, the acting and dancing I do everyday with kids at Carmel remind me of past times we all had .
We did have fun creating the magic. I am doing Hansel and Gretel again and this time it has a cute musical score with it. I remember you as Frick or was it Frack ? oh well , you were funny and I really enjoyed when you picked up Anthony and put him in the cage. ( I think you did to)
Mom looks great and is doing what she does best teach and work alot. WE are peas in a pod. She is amazing as you know but Tom and I worry that she does to much .. needs to take a break. Also, Uncle Jim looks awesome and he brought beautiful Dalia's to the party for Betty. He is a great friend and companion . Yesterday, I felt you talking to me and before I knew it I was walking in your house on Rand -going up the stairs and looking in at your room
with all the stuff on the walls and just remembering when you were rehearsing for Mr LZ great memories.
I miss you lots and sometimes I find myself getting down about how Carmel doesn't get what the arts do for kids can you work some Billy magic on them? II need some help
Thanks for that... and thank you tell God He did good with you!
Love you
Carpe Diem
Mrs S
Tom , Anth and Brandan say hi and they to talk about you often- as they look at your picture in the kitchen. Keep singing!

My Dear Billy,

Happy 27th Birthday! Just imagine me singing to you! Actually, I know all of your friends would be joining in also. Went to the cemetary two times last week. Put some beautiful Fall flowers in the urn for both you and dad. Then I brought 2 pumpkins....wrote on them.....know you would laugh!

Great news about the Marathon on Sunday. Beth Cloud and Amanda Pazik both ran. Sure there were probably others you might know that ran as well. Beth ran mile 1 for dad, in honor of his birthday, and mile 12 for you and your birthday. It was so beautiful to look at Beth's book. She is working hard at Mayo and also continuing her studies. Amanda, as well, is nursing and she thought of you as well during her run! Signed a banner for her. She was thrilled to be able to do this. She is so giving...always.

Everyone else is doing fine. All of your friends are so special...so incredibly special. As you read, Anthony is singing and putting a cabaret together and ALWAYS does his art with your spirit in mind. Billy, so does Mike and Steph, and Jonathan, and Lisa, and Patrick and Sara and Bob..and Cat, Carly, Jacqui, Brad and Deb and Melissa and Aubyn and Andi and Matt and Alexa, Tim and Mike.Michelle.all who I have spoken with recently...and on and on and on and on. All of your friends..pages and pages of memories.. Guess you know how proud I am of the support you continue to give us all. You will be happy to know Lisa L had a baby girl and April is due the beginning of 2012! Uncle Jim is caring for your bonsai tree like no one else could. All of his trees are just beautiful. I know he wishes you were here to see his work. He misses you so, so much.

Also guess you know how much I miss you. Time is no healing medicine. I will never stop missing you. Always, in my heart I wonder what you would be doing, or singing, or who you would be dating, or what you would like or not like......the list goes on and on. But there is one thing I thought about the other day. All of us, here on our earthly planet, are looking forward to the joy that you are living...BUT......we have to wait! Just think.....you beat us to the punch.....you are living the JOY so much sooner!!!!! Save some for us!

Betty's birthday is tomorrow also. Two great friends sharing the same day. Jan sang at a 9/11 event at school and was so phenomenal. Why am I telling you....I know you had a front row seat!

My students are working so very hard and doing so well. I love my work. I always dedicate every day to you and dad. Every song and every note I play.
To have been so young, yet to have the respect of so many....that is what we all strive to achieve.

No material gift means as much as touching the soul of another. My gift to you is the music my soul sings to you every day. I miss the music we shared....the singing we did at the piano, or just riding in the car. I miss your performing....that voice that hushed an audience in a second. Yet, you gave us the memory of those moments ......a far greater gift than we can every repay.

Smile on us.....sing to us...care for our journeys. I hold you forever.

Carpe Diem...in love and song,
Mom

wanred to tell You Happy Birthday miss you and love you sure miss them water fights at the misik reunion. And we also miss your dad my Uncle Bill

miss you.

Billy,
DUDE!! Sorry it has been so long since I last wrote to you. So many things have happened since that, it would take war and peace to print it on so we will stick to the basics. I have now moved to Brooklyn which is a huge change from Washington Heights. I have neighbors who I talk to and children I enjoy (I know right? Oh wait they’re not mine) Its just a happy place to come home to with 2 great roomies. I finished a show in June (The Father) and it was very interesting to be back onstage in a good way. Just turned the big 2-7 and voice lessons are going amazing. I even took a rep. coaching from this guy who has enlightened me to change my book and give me many new things to work on. He’s also trying to get me not to sound so “white” on “on the wings of love” Now I fully understand why you’ve always said you wanted to be black. (Was that suppose to be a secret?) Anywho big news I just told your mom and a few friends but I’m going to do a cabaret about my life changing regarding gastric bypass. I’m hoping to do it Jan 16th but it’s in early stages at the moment. So excited already and I’m sure there will be a place for a Billy story or 2 in there. Miss you and the LZ peeps. Keep makin miracles.

Carpe Diem
Anthony Castellano

My Dear Billy,

When I came to my computer this morning, I had the ultimate joy of reading Carley's letter to you! Through tears of JOY I reread and reread her words of completely honest love for the memories she holds so close.

Carley puts in a heartfelt and humorous way the moments so many hold, yet find difficult to put into words.

Billy, these are writings that will never leave my heart. All of the stories, just like Carley's, absolutely confirm that in life AND in death, we can still work miracles.

Anthony also sent me a text yesterday and he was so excited...he "nailed a high A" in his voice lesson. You always told him he would do it....and he believed he would and DID!

Now you have to really work another miracle. Uncle Jim is heading up to Pike Lake.....he, also, remembers your time with him, fishing, cleaning the fish, .....well, maybe you can help him catch "THE BIG ONE" this trip!

Anyway, thank you....know my soul is always with you. (Thank you, Carley, I love you so much..Mamam Misik)!

Carpe Diem, in love and song..forever, my son,
Mom

Billy,

It never ceases to amaze me how comforted I feel when I think of you. Our little hardships here on Earth must look so silly from up in Heaven.

Thank you for all that you do to help me. Carrying your love in my heart makes a difference in my life every single day. Your beautiful voice still rings in my ears.

I cannot visit Woodfield Mall without thinking of walking around in my stupid "driving hat" (which my puppy has since eaten most of) and hitting up the smoothie stand.

I once confessed to Alison after Cinderella rehearsal at the age of fourteen, "I think I'm in love with Billy." This seems so insignificant now but I hope that in Heaven there is a way to gather how many girls really said that about you. You are such a heart breaker...but you still managed to be nice and kind to even awkward, unsure, sort of tone deaf girls like me.

It seems strange to me how many of my friends have left my life by choice. If only they could understand the pain of having no choice in the matter and losing so much love, talent, and brilliance...

Thank you for never walking away from me and for always being in my heart. I need you there because you fill any void that comes along.

I so desperately wish we could walk together through New York...that you could have had the time on Earth to show the WORLD just how incredible you are.

Thank you just for being you. Thank you so much just for being my friend.

Thank you for listening to your parents and letting them shape you into such an incredible and understanding young man.

I love you now and forever.

Love,
Carley

My Dear Billy,

So many memories of Mother's Days we all spent together....they were beautiful! I kept all the cards and remember all of your goodness...constantly...to me. Yet I also know that for me...well...every day was Mother's Day. Not just one 24 hour period of time....no, it was always. Your encouragement and love for me...made me a better mom on a daily basis. That's what I feel today.
My mom was a great role model for me...you brought me to a good place with it all the challenges life has given.

Sure, I wish more than ever that you could physically be here with me and we would laugh and plan and sing and dream of your journey....yet, this I know...you are surrounded by many "heavenly mothers"....and that is what makes this day, for me, still so very special.

All of my students...past and present...are my "children". Their kindness to me all these years is a reflection...a silent reflection of you...each in some small way.

Know that my soul is smiling, always, as I journey through this earth and as I look to the day you will greet me and say..."Happy Mother's Day, Mom...you're home"

Carpe Diem..
In love and song,
Mom

My dearest cousin,
I think of you SO often and tell so many people of your story...you were and remain such an inspiration to me (and to those with whom I can share your story). I just wanted to wish you a happy early Mother's Day as I'll be traveling next weekend and am not sure where or when my computer and I will be, and I want you (and your Mom) to know there's not a day goes by you're not in my prayers and in my Rosary (well, YOU know that, but I wanted Chris to know too)!
May you continue to make BEAUTIFUL music for Our Lord, and with our Blessed Mother, and with my own wonderful Mom and Dad as well as your own father. I know it's just glorious!
In love...and missing you,
Therese

My Dear Billy,

Happy Easter! Yes, I did leave a "peep" at the cemetery for you and dad! Do you think I would forget? That once a year "sugar high"!

So many wonderful things are touching the lives of your friends. Keep those blessings for them all going forward. They work so very hard and are always thinking about you and how you are caring for and guiding them...just don't rest on that job, my love.

As for me? Well...working and loving my passion. Music will always be how my life is directed....this Easter the music that we sang in the choir was just stirring...somehow I knew you heard every note! Music just never stops for me...I think it is my hearts life! So much more yet to do!

Thank you...for taking care of me. The times I feel alone I know I am not...it's just the time my heart hears the music a little softer. We will talk again...soon.

In love and song..forever...Carpe Diem,
Mom

My Dear Billy,

Time is such an amazing teacher! Five years ago God, Dad, Grandma and Grandpa were there to welcome you with open arms into heaven's love. In your "Pay It Forward" way I am sure you're now welcoming others. That is so you, Billy.

April surprised me today by inviting me to her moms home to hear her sing a song she found that reminded her of you. Yes, I cried, and I am sure you know how beautiful she sang. It was a moment I will always treasure.

Really don't think I need to tell you how much I need your hug....your smile...your song...your "eye" sparkle...your laugh...your wise words. I yearn to hear you laughing with your friends around the bon fire as you eat "puppy chow" and roast "smores". Most of all....I see in my soul your performances...and I hear you singing. That beautiful "voice of the soul"! We would sit at the piano, I would play and you would sing all of the musical theatre songs we could handle until our eyes were closing!

We treasured those music moments then and I am nourished by them now. Tomorrow at Mass we are singing Caccini's Ave Maria.....can hear you singing it at Dad's funeral and can hear Tim singing for yours. Remember to listen as the choir sings tomorrow!

Well, my son, no heart could love more and no song could speak more than mine for you. Till we perform together again......Carpe Diem!

In love and song...forever,
Mom

My Dear Billy,

Merry Christmas! Well, now just where do I begin? Let me start with...there certainly has been some snow in our area this week!!!!!!! Yes, on Monday, Dec. 20th, your loving and outstanding friends and alumni came to or performed at the 2010 Billy Misik Alumni Talent Show benefiting Children's Charities and the Food Pantry. What an evening! Jake was the MC and he was right on when he said "we will be paying big bucks to hear these artists in the future"! Billy it was an evening you always wanted to have happen, and Catrina and Aubyn, Mr. Bennett and Mrs. Lloyd, along with Jenna and so many others made it happen. Mrs. T. put info up all over the school.

"Help other kids, mom"...I can hear you saying that as if it were yesterday. Well, I am, and have dedicated my career to doing just that, Bill.

Anyway, back to the snow. As you know, it ALWAYS seems to snow for so many of the events you have a passion for.....and we were not disappointed on Monday for the talend show, nor were we disappointed tonight...Christmas Eve. Thanks for the snow on my Birthday! Everyone who called or wrote apparently thought the same thing I did. They have your NUMBER!!!!!

The calming silence of snow is what we all need in our conjested lives. I know I do, for sure. Tonight at Midnight Mass and tomorrow morning at Mass, I will be sure to be grateful for the snow and the space it brings to me as I realize all I am grateful for on a daily basis.

Thank you, my son, for bringing your heart into mine through your friends. No greater blessing could come to me than all of "my Children"!

Uncle Jim would agree 100%.

Merry Christmas to you, my Billy and Dad! Oh, and.....thank you for the snow!

Carpe Diem...in love and song, forever,
my son,
Mom

My Dear Billy,

Happy Thanksgiving! Think of all of the homemade recipes you can experience in heaven.....for sure better than my cooking!

Thinking a lot today. I could not be more thankful for anything today than the fact that I am the mom of the greatest young man on earth and in heaven! Learned so much over these years. Loss is the greatest teacher. You begin to assemble a whole new vision of what is really valuable on this earth.....all of the remarkable parts of life we can be so "thankful" for today and always.

Thank you for the gift of "you". Miss you every second of every day. Will write again soon.

Carpe Diem,
In love and song, my son,
Mom

Billy- Happy Birthday! Thinking of you especially during your special b-day month... remember when we went gambling on your 21st? What a fun time. so many laughs when we worked on shows as well. Missing you lots Tom , Anth and Brandan are wishing you a glorious day in Heaven as I know you are causing some mischief ... Your smile is forever as is your spirit. You are always in my heart.. Mrs S Behave!!!

Hey Billy,
Happy Birthday! Hope you are having a blast. I have been taking this amazing performance class and used you as a character back story last night. Things have been great on my end. Just got a call back for this weekend as well as doing Children’s Theatre on weekends, directing a one woman show, organizing a cabaret I will perform in February and modernizing Hedda Gabler. You’re a constant source of inspiration to live life to the fullest and for the first time I feel like I understand the words “Carpe Diem” Thank you for the wonderful memories and wisdom you have given me. I will have a drink for you later. Happy 26th !!

Anthony

My Dearest Billy,

October 12th, HAPPY 26th BIRTHDAY! I remember all of the "different" cakes for your birthdays. I know I wasn't the best cook, or baker, but you DID really like the Midori Cake I would always make. ALl of those times are so vivid to me...memories of the soul to cherish, to smile about and take into my heart!

You know you worked another "miracle" on Saturday. Brian Dietzen got married to Annemarie.....(you would so have approved...she is a gem)! Well, the day, again, as on all of the other weddings of your dear friends, was absolutely "picture perfect"! Ashley and Logan, Aubyn and Phil, Melissa and Dave, and Barry and Cathy were there....we were at the roudy table and had the best time!!! Brian is such a great young man, and somehow I just knew you were giving a "high five" for him on his wedding day.

You really made me understand the defining moments in life, Billy. How we can so easily pass by what is really important. You make everyday a "birthday" in my life.

Have a request....please send all of your song and prayer to Ashley R.....and to Tim K. They have some medical issues that they need to handle and it sure would be just a little "lighter" for them if you were shouldering some of their journey the next week and month. I know you will.

Uncle Jim is doing great. Got to do some fishing. He, as you know, just loves his fishing.

Steph is in the Village Singers and so is Tim and Bobby L., students you would know. We are really enjoying it and Mr. J is just a great director.
Steph got a job, and so did Tim, and Mike is at school, Lisa got a job.....gosh..why am I telling you all of this...you probably knew it before we all did!

Well, my dear son, as you get older, I visualize all you are doing in heaven. That's the place to be productive...FOR SURE! So, just know my gift to you.....more love than the universe can hold, more song than any great artists could sing...more hope than any dictionary could define, and the promise that we will be together again...all of us...and when that moment arrives, my arms will hold you so tight. (I hope they have the ingredients for that Midori cake in heaven....)!

Till we sing (Happy Birthday...and more songs) again.

Carpe Diem, my song,
In love and song...forever,
Mom

Dear Billy,

Yes, I am going to NYC. One of my just graduated seniors is performing with the honors performance program at Carnegie Hall. Very excited for Lexi. She is wonderful! Hearing this in Carnegie Hall will be quite an event!

While I am there it will be such a joy to see Anthony and Shannon...We will see the musical,"Next to Normal"....and Jan and I are seeing, hopefully, "Hair". Will also get to have breakfast with Deb. Wow....what a whirlwind...but you know I love those kind of days!

No words can even come close to how my life has been directed since your illness. So many times I feel as if you are guiding me every step, and every music note, and every student. No doubt we have a miraculous God who cares so much for us all...in all times of life.

Till we sing again...Carpe Diem,
In love and song...forever, my son,
Mom

Hey Billy,
Miss you much. Thought about you alot lately while I was reading this book about a woman with ALS who touched so many lives and had such a positive outlook despite her fate. Sorry it has been so long. Been a hectic few weeks, moved to New York City in April and just got cast in a one-act. It seems promising. A One act about Grimm's fairytales. I play multiple characters even a princess lol. It'll be nice after almost a whole year behind the scenes. Saw alot of theatre recently and my friend Zelda and I are obcessed with Next to Normal. Looking forward to your mama coming to NYC next week. Hopefully I can take her to see a show. Gotta run but will write again.

Anthony C

Miss you Billy! Always thinking of you!

My Dearest Billy,

This Sunday is Mother's Day and I wanted to write to you and tell you I am the luckiest mom in the world. From the day you were born I felt that you and I were destined for an incredible journey. Boy are we on an incredible journey.

You will be spending Mother's Day with our heavenly Mother and with myself here on earth. You have the best of both worlds!

Sometimes when I hear all of the ads about Mother's Day, for an instant I feel sad, but only an instant, because I know we have "Mother and Son Day" everyday.

Melissa saw "Grease" and since I was in the show she watched my dancing. At the end of the show I had to dance alone. She said she got teary because as she watched me dancing alone she thought how appropriate, because she felt I was dancing with you. That's a great Mother's day gift.

So, my son, Carpe Diem...you are always in my heart....forever,
In love and song,
Mom

My Dearest Billy,

It has been a while since I have written. So many wonderful things have been happening. You would be so happy about your friends and their successes. Why am I telling you to be happy....you ARE thrilled...I know!

I have been traveling, as much as possible, when my schedule is clear, to hear my former students in their college performances. It is so inspiring and quite a shot of adrenalin. I learn so much watching them perform. Today, however, I know was a special day for you and I and Uncle Jim. Here is why.

Today was Stephanie's senior recital! Where do I begin? First of all...as expected, she looked beautiful, just radiant. Am sure you were sitting on a star, just beaming as she executed each song with precision and poise and dramatic flair! Her voice was magical, rich, full, brilliant...let's see...what else can I say? She was "Carpe Diem"!

Something I can never forget, however, were the songs she selected. In particular...Bill, from Showboat...Everytime We Say Goodbye...and forever in my heart...I'll Be Seeing You. Steph is your eternal friend, Billy. She never forgets, and she remembers...in song. Somehow I feel as if your memory has made her singing stronger than ever. She could sing a cabaret night in NYC..she could perform on stage with the best. She sang from her heart and with a fervor I have never heard before. I wanted her to keep singing...not stop. Her family was so proud. Jenny and Andrew and Amanda were there and you could see how happy they were also.

Thank you Billy, for continuing to bring life to our lives. I miss you every second of every day. My life is filled with purpose all because of you and your friends. Thank you, again, my son. Carpe Diem.

In love and song, forever,
Mom

Billy- We all thought of you Jan 16th the day God took you from us . All of us surrounding your bed as you took your last breathe. God wanted you with Him.
I am working on the SS show at Carmel and sometimes I wish the students would understand how precious life is and all of us. Anyway, I have a dedication to Mrs D who directed the show for many years and I chose "For Good" you are the one who shared this with me on the way to chemo We sat and enjoyed the beauty of the music. What can I say ...
"People Come into our lives for a reason" thank you foe being in mine.. always Mrs S

Billy- We all had you in our thoughts on Jan 16th. I remember when you took your last breathe on earth we all were around your bed and the music was playing softly. God needed you but we sure need you. There are times when I wish some of the High schoolers I have would just realize how precious life is ... they take it for granted . But I think we all do at times. I have a dedication song in the SS show I am working on "For Good" I first heard it with you in the car to chemo - you said Mrs S I got this Wicked Cd I want to play for you and there it was A special moment we shared. Well in a few weeks I will have 2 students of mine sing this and I know it will be hard to not cry for I will forever remember you and my times with you. For you ...
"people come into our lives " Love ya Mrs S

Dear Billy
I am so sorry that it has been so long since I wrote you last. You are always in my thoughts. This past year has been a blur with many ups and a few downs (cant appreciate one without the other). At the moment I a directing A Doll’s House and thought of you fondly of how you would love the people I am working with. We moved in with no heat and the room was about 12 degrees and we couldn’t do much during tech with full runs. I felt defeated and what kept me going were your words of wisdom...”dude, I got cancer”. You always knew how to put things in perspective and I always appreciated that about you. I miss you my dear friend and you are a constant source of inspiration. Thank you for being such a wonderful friend and believing in me. Hope your 4th anniversary was lovely wherever you are. Will try to write alittle more frequently. Talk to you soon.

Anthony.

My Dearest Billy,

Did you get your "wings" today? It is 4 years, today, that God chose you to hold in HIS arms. When I look at it like that...I know you must be happy!

So many of your friends and caregivers came over this morning to celebrate you and what you have challenged us all to become. Isn't that a wonderful thought? A simple young man helped all of us to see beyond ourselves and make each day a Carpe Diem Day!

I must share a story with you. As I was preparing for today, I decided to get Jan's CD and bring it out so I could play the song she wrote for your Service. As I came back into the kitchen I heard and saw the "chimes" vigorously chiming! It was 1:04am on the 16th!!!! It is solar operated and there was NO light shining on it at all! Of course you know, by now, that all of us, anytime we hear it chime...immediately know it is you giving us your opinion or getting us back on track! However, for me at that hour of the morning, I immediately remembered 4 years ago at Evanston Hospital, with all of us around you, as you left to be with Dad and God. Were you smiling and singing to me? Were you saying "I love you, mom"...well, I guess I believed it was "all of the above"!

Yes, I cried, and held that CD, looked at your picture that Linda so accurately pained, and decided to play the song.."I Am Released: Billy's Song"! You and I had a quiet moment to share, and it was wonderful.

You always know when I need you to be there for me the most. (But I really believe you DID get your angel wings right at that moment)!

You have such amazing friends. They are all doing so well, and yes, the girls STILL talk about you with funny, funny stories! I think I should let THEM share them!

So, my son, how I wish I could hold you, but that's God's job now. But I know you are both holding me in your arms...giving me strength to continue.

Carpe Diem, Billy.
In love and song...forever,
Mom

My Dearest Billy,

Merry Christmas! Even though we have had an "incredible" amount of rain...I am always singing in my heart when I think of you and dad and the skies are sunny in my eyes!

Midnight Mass was so beautiful. Strings, horns, percussion, bell choir, and full roster of voices in all sections. It was memorable! They even sang Happy Birthday to me before the "carols" began and it was a complete surprise...very teary eyed.

You and dad were remembered at the Mass. That is always so special for me, and for others. Andi and her sister were there, so was Mrs. S and her family. Brandan came in...he is doing so well. Chris K came, as did so many other students. Patrick and Sean and Elise even sang in the choir!

Father talked about "Coming Home for Christmas". Just think...YOU are already in the best home ever and it is Christmas everyday in heaven.

You know, maybe I really have come to appreciate Christmas more than I ever had in my life. It is not the gifts...it is certainly taking time to remember and care for yourself and others. I remember everything you and I did to prepare for Christmas and every special day. Because you gave my life so much meaning Billy, I need to always remember to encourage others and help them embrace the special times in their lives as well. You taught me so much...you left me so many gifts of life.

Am I sad? Of course. You above all, know how much I want you here NOW, doing all the fun things and experiencing all the traveling and life hopes! Uncle Jim misses you more than I can even put into words. You were his fishing buddy, and travel buddy, and on and on...

But I believe that the greatest gift is yet to come, Billy. It is the day we see each other again. That will be the most important "Coming Home..." we can wish for.

Merry Christmas...Carpe Diem...
In love and song...forever, my son,
Mom

My Dearest Son,

I really think "Thanksgiving" represents every day in our lives, not just one designated to us. Happy Thanksgiving...all days...for you are spending it with Dad, and Grandma and Grandpa and Jason and Chris and Annie and all of your family, Aunt Annie and Uncle John, and "heavenly" friends. That is much to be thankful for!

Myself and so many of your friends have had you on our mind so much this week in particular. You know that not a second spins through this universe that I am not thinking about you. I wonder what we would be laughing or crying about...what would we be questioning?...where would you be going...doing...singing or acting about...dancing about...smiling that famous smile about???? But my anxiety settles, as my faith confirms...you are doing all of these things just as I would dream you would be doing them, and you are in some brilliant company!

Keep singing in us all, for you never know when we need that "note" the most! Thank you...Carpe Diem!

In love and song...forever,
Mom

My Dearest Billy,

This has certainly been quite an exciting week for your friends. Over the years I have been so blessed to have them all in my life. It is so clear to me how your friendship with them made you the person you still are to me and so many.

Their accomplishments add up to determination and hard work and belief in themselves and their work.

Cat just received a promotion that had her smiling from here to heaven! Did you see it??? I am very excited for her and her career. You would be also.

Aubyn, Phil and Andy performed at Flatlander's the other evening and they were absolutely fantastic. The group was all there...Melissa and Dave, Ashley and Logan, Barry, Cat, Uncle Jim and myself. The songs she has written are so good.

Well, had to keep you up to date on all of the activities and accomplishments of your friends.

You are always with us, my son.
Carpe Diem.

In love and song...forever,
Mom

My Dear Son,

Thursday evening was a very special time. My heart shared your happiness for your very best friend, Michael,as he conducted his first choir concert! This is such an important time for a music educator. Billy, watching Michael as he stood on stage in complete command of all the music and really enjoying seeing his students perform so well was very emotional for me.

Mike called and asked for one of your Livestrong bracelets, as his had broken. He wanted to wear it as he was on stage. He wanted to know you were there with him...but we all know...you are always there with Mike and with all of us...!

One of the songs the choir sang was "For Good" from Wicked. April and Phil sang this for your service. Just as meticulous as they has sung it, so did all of these voices do the same this evening. Yes, Bill, I cried...but tears of joy.

Music is the eternal connection...the eternal bridge that never separates us in this circle of life and love. It is the bond that will keep you ever present in Mike's music and teaching.

I am sure you "saw" and "heard" the whole concert, but I had to commit my thoughts to you.

Music will always be "our" language, my dear Billy. Carpe Diem.

In love and song...forever,
Mom

My Dear Son,

Happy Birthday...Happy 25th Birthday! It was wonderful to share the Mass this morning with so many of your friends and caregivers...yes, Uncle Jim, Betty, Denise, Bessie, Lenore, Judy, Karen, Melissa, Andi, Carley, Mike, Jan....yes it was really great. We shared laughs and memories at breakfast and some went to the cemetery. Lenore got you a balloon...that she inscribed!

It is a wonderfully healthy time, as is everyday, when I read all of the things your friends are doing, and that you have inspired them to move on. Hoping someday to also have had that effect on people myself. Lives that are motivated to change and grow and fill the world with their potential. That makes me so proud,
Billy. You really woke so many of us up.

Every second, every day, I feel you are constantly giving ME the "birthday" gift. I look at life so much more fully...it has the ability to allow me to achieve so much more than I had ever dreamed.

You are always with me, and I absolutely know you are with those who you have touched in your life.

Almost thought it was going to "snow" today.....did you just want to give us a little scare?????

Well, my dearest Billy, you are celebrating with the best....and know that we are all moving forward in all we do. Your soul touched mine always.

Carpe Diem...In love and song...forever,
Mom

Dear Billy,

I wanted to write to you on the eve of your birthday because I absolutely cannot believe that it's been three years?

I have missed your laugh and your amazing intuitive kindness more than you could ever know.

I feel so lucky that you have been in my dreams a few times since you left us. I know that it's real, because I don't see you on a daily basis (even though I wish I did) you have visited in times when my life has been in its greatest turmoil and I was blinded by sorrow. In one of my dreams, you just held me in a bear hug as I cried and for the first time in a long time, I awoke that next morning feeling a sliver of hope for my life.

Billy, I think you and I were kindred spirits. We both loved to be social and know lots of people.

Something that I think I learned from you was how to strike a good balance in life. You showed me that it was ok to have some fun and still be hardcore dedicated to reaching your dreams.

Even in working on your craft I picked up on how special you were in that you knew how to break down that barrier and JUMP INTO the role you were portraying. You had enough trust in yourself and your talent to put yourself out there and risk making mistakes in order to draw out a real raw representation of a person's deepest darkest feelings and struggles and triumphs with their hopes and dreams. I can see memories of Culver drilling you on monologues and solo songs on stage in my head like they happened yesterday.

You have been with me in so many ways since we parted. It is always unfailing that in times where I just want to give up the ghost and lay down to let the earth swallow me whole that your knowing eyes appear unprompted in my head and you are giving me that look that had mastered that showed love but also a half confused expression that said it all, 'Hey..what are you doing? You're better than this...You just aren't looking at it from the right angle. Take a deep breath, and try it again. Remember "every knot was once straight rope...." and tomorrow we'll make some puppy chow when this is all over."

In short Billy, I am getting tired and I could write for days, weeks, months, years, etc. about how much you've changed my life.

If I had never known you, I would have probably still been in my mistrusting stage of life afraid to eat a cheeseburger or say a swear word.

I love you and miss you always my friend.

And don't worry. I WILL be spending a lot of time writing about our funny times together like when we mashed our gummy worms into a baseball and played catch from one top seating area of the metra to the other only to inevitably loose the ball as it dropped stickily onto some business man's newspaper....

I will never forget.

I love you my friend Billy Boy and I hope you are having fun with Bubbles and your dad up there. watch over us ok?

Lisa

My Dearest Billy,

It is hard to believe that the summer is drawing to a close. It has been a busy summer for me. I taught through the end of July.

Betty and I went to the cemetery a few weeks ago. It is so beautiful among the trees and fountain and waterfall. As Jan wrote, you are among the "rustling of the trees, and they do sing"!

Not a day goes by that I do not have you with my soul. It is your love of life and your love of the arts that fuel my teaching. When we see each other again, we will have so much to talk about...I know Uncle Jim may occupy your time with all of his fishing stories...he is so proud of the times you both had at Pike Lake!

Please guide and watch over all of my students as they begin their new school year. They work so very diligently, and so, so many of them are guided by your spirit.

Will write again, soon. Carpe Diem!

In love and song, my son, forever...
Mom

My Dearest Son,

I felt so blessed today...Mother's Day! You were guiding me closely, and I know you never stop encouraging my work. Today at Mass, after we finished singing the last song, a lady and her daughter came up to me and gave me 3 roses. I did not know her, but she attends Mass at St. Francis. She said she heard me speak at Midnight Mass and was moved by your story. Being Mother's Day she just wanted to give me the roses. I was speechles...Yes...Bill...your mom was speechless, if you can believe it!!! How wonderful a woman to remember and act on that memory on such a wonderful day. She was certainly so unselfish and a wonderful model mom for her daughter. I asked her where she was from and she said, Australia. Then I really began to think. First of all...I love red roses, and YOU knew that....Secondly, you always wanted to travel to Australia and New Zealand. It made me think that you guided this wonderful woman to come over to me. Yes...today was a blessed day on earth and in heaven.

Thank you....for all you do for all of us. We know you are watching over us, and we all need that guiding hand!

My love to you, Billy....we will, in God's divine light..continue to "Pay it Forward".

Carpe Diem...In love and song...forever,
Mom

Billy,
I just finished watching the "ER" series finale and as the credits began to roll you popped into my mind. I thought of how we would have watched this together. How many times we convinced my mom to allow to come over on a "school night" so we could watch it together. How you brought me that scrub t-shirt, which I still wear, when you visited the set.
The times that I feel you so close are unfortunately infrequent, but I am always startled by the immediate visceral recognition of your presence. You're still there. And I'm so glad. I love you.

Hey Billy, today is the closing performance of Northwestern's winter opera, The Merry Widow....I woke up to a blizzard of snow outside my window : ) Thanks for being here with me in spirit! I know your Mom is here with me in spirit as well; there are so many important things right now that are happening in Lake Zurich that need to be dealt with and figured out...work your miracles and magic Billy! Love you and miss you so much!

-Patrick : )

My Dear Son,

As I read all of the amazing stories of your treasured friends....I am feeling so blessed. You have touched the lives of so many BEFORE...and....NOW. Anthony is singing and doing wonderful things, and so is Stephanie, and so, so many others.

When we see each other again...we will need generations to catch up on all of the little miracles. Please think of Uncle Jim. He is seeing the doctor, and we need him 100%. Also, think of my students. This is Solo and Ensemble week. Lots to handle for all of them. They are such incredible young men and women.

So, my son, my heart is always close to you. But you know that...always.

Carpe Diem,
In love and song...forever,
Mom

Hey Billy,
This is just toooo weird, it was the first time since college that I had a dream and you made an appearence, not sure the whole situation but you, me and some of my new friends from theatre were in a night club (very elegant and huge with ballrooms) you still had cancer but you looked amazing like when I first met you. We were having a good time talking and laughing, not sure what we were talking about, probably the theatre, but then you took your shirt off (wife beater still on, get your mind out of the gutter, Billy) and were asking everyone to smell you because you thought you smelled chemically. I am not sure what this means because different aspects of my life were combined in a place i've never been before, but it was good to see you happy and looking great!

Anywho lots of good things are happening, finshed directing some shows in the last few months, doing a cabaret tomorrow where I'm singing three songs at a bar in the East Village, taking voice lessons with a teacher who is trying to teach me better habbits, auditioning for summer work in Jersey next weekend, in early stages of a new musical workshops, and getting to meet some wonderful people in the city.

Wish you were here to share in all the joy. Thanks for making a guest appearence in my dream, started my day off well. Look forward to the next one.

Till next time
Anthony C.

Tonight I am singing in a cabaret performance. When I'm singing this piece, you are the music. I love you.

Billy, you give me hope and perseverance. I am reminded of you daily as I am struggling, and I remember that you overcame so many incredible difficulties. Stephanie reminded me that even though things are bad that wonderful things can blossom from horrible ones. We all miss you greatly, but the foundation of your love and your wonderful spirit has made truly beautiful things happen in your memory. Thank you for being there for me and helping me even though you are so far away. Kara's dog passed away recently, so I hope you are hanging out with him and Oreo and Bubbles...I think they would be good doggie friends for each other and you. I pray for your guidance as I jump in head first into the most difficult thing I may have experienced so far. I wish I could just call you while you are in heaven, but I wait for you in my dreams and your memory in my daily life. I am moving home in about a week and a half to student teach. The things you and your family taught me will always be in my heart and my passion and I cannot thank you enough for your impact in my life. I will always miss you, and always love you. Thank you for showing me that this too shall pass and that life is worth living even though it is very hard sometimes. Thank you for watching over us. Never forget all of us who think of you. I hope there is a Broadway in Heaven and that you are scoring all the leading roles. My grandmother would love to watch you perform. I know you will continue to guide me, and show me what love really is and means. You are an incredible friend and know how to touch the hearts of others just by being you. I am always watching for signs of you and carry you in my heart. I'm trying to learn to live by your favorite words instead of trudging through the mud. Carpe Diem.

I love you.
Carley

My Dearest Son,

This note is almost a week after your 3rd anniversary. I purposely did this, so you could reflect on all of the wonderful moments of that day and those to follow.

Anthony flew in from NYC. It was so wonderful to have him here. He cherishes the friendship you and he built at FTC, and is continuing his professional contribution to theatre and music in New York.

We went to Mass on Jan. 16th, and that evening, so many of your friends and myself went to dinner and laughed and remembered. You, my dear, would have been overjoyed. As a matter of fact, they all agreed you have played "THE ROLE" in their lives and their unbelieveable successes. They thank you! Mike is teaching..a choir director! Lisa is teaching...loved by her students! Andi is teaching 5th grade...special ed. so good and so excited! Melissa and Dave are working and getting married in June! Aubyn, Phil and Andy are working and singing as a group...writing original music...it is their time! Cat is working, creative, so incredible! Mrs. VC and I watched in awe, and just wondered what YOU were thinking!

Difficult to convey the pride I feel daily. You make me a better teacher and a better person in all areas of my life. The decisions we make take on so much more meaning when they come from places that cause us to really search "through" pain and joy. Not a day goes by that you are not guiding my every move and my thoughts. No mother could be more grateful, Billy. Always thought I was the one to teach you....well...surprise!!!...here you are teaching me.

By the way!!!!! It was FRIGID on Jan. 16th.....we all wondered what you were REALLY trying to tell us?

Thank you...for making all of our lives more committed and more blessed!

Carpe Diem, my son.
In love and song...forever,
Mom

My Dear Billy,

Merry Christmas! You couldn't believe all of the snow we have gotten in the past week....well, however...., now that I think of it, maybe you would believe it, since it seems you have delivered more than your share of snow, at various important times, for us to handle!

We all certainly think of you "doubly" when it snows. I think about you all of the time, Billy, and I visualize the singing and dancing you are enjoying in heaven with the family. Every time I hear a song that reminds me of you....somehow I sense you are singing it all around me.

Gave a short "moment" at Midnight Mass last night. Topic: Turning sorrow into Joy. Being asked to do that gave me a lot of time to really reflect. Certainly no doubt that "sorrow" prepares us to really understand "joy". You and dad gave me that "gift" to understand joy, and no one could ask for more. I am convinced of that daily.

So thank you, again and again, for all of the little miracles you send our way. I hope you feel my arms circling you and dad. But you know how I will forever pursue your wishes, and they will come true, I promise.

So, my son, keep guiding my soul, and God hold you this blessed Christmas, always in the palm of His hand.

Carpe Diem.
In love and song...forever,
Mom

My Dear Son,

Happy Thanksgiving! Ron and I went to the cemetery yesterday. The waterfall is so beautiful. You were blessed to have a wonderful teacher who cares, always, for you. Today I went to Mass with Mrs. Kovarik, then to Stephanie's with Uncle Jim, and will end the day with dinner at Carol's with Ian and Andrew and her mom and dad.

It has been a busy school year so far. You would have been very proud of Denise's production at Carmel. It was wonderful and so funny! Yes, did a Fall recital....the students, as always, outdid themselves.

Through all of the "business" of the music and theatre in my life, I am never a second away from you and your presence. Thought at church today, how "blessed" I really am, because of all you have taught me in my life. Now I have the opportunity to put it all to good use.

Mike and I were talking the other day. He is student teaching at Schaumburg H.S. Be with him, as I know, and so do you.....he is going to be a great teacher. So, keep motivating us with the inner strength we ALL need on a daily basis. Having you beside and behind us gives us a little "edge"!

Well, my boy, I thank you for the blessings received on a daily basis, and forever, you are the greatest of blessings to me.

In love and song...Carpe Diem,
Mom

My Dear Son,

Well, your 24th Birthday was certainly celebrated in style by your incredible friends.

Cat, Lisa and Stephanie ran the Chicago Marathon for the American Brain Tumor Association and they all FINISHED THE 26.2 mile run!!! They all received medals from the run and they were in no uncertain terms...remarkable. You certainly must have guided their steps, knowing they were doing this for you!

Later that evening so many of your friends, organized by MikeVC and Cat, well, we all met at Fridays and toasted the girls and you! It was great to watch them all talk and laugh and remember.

Can I tell you my heart was bursting! Anthony C. and Mike N. and Alexa H. all called. So good to hear of their successes.

You are always with me...never a day, never a second, I am not reminded of you....and how I know to be better in all I am and do because of you is my greatest gift.

I know all of heaven and Dad and all of our family is always holding you close....for me. Thank them.

So, my son, another year of growth for you and I and so many others.
We will all meet the challenge.

In love and song...Carpe Diem...forever,
Mom

Hey Dude
Whats up? Happy 24th!!! Hope you are having a blast and celebrating with the booze of your choice. I must admit I endulged in Starbucks on your special day and took an acting class.

I am trying to keep busy with rehearsals for a show where i get to play a theatre critic. Some really funny people and I got into a reading where i get to play a man who is getting married and his soon to be wife finds out he is a sex offender. (Interesting huh?)

I miss you tons. Thanks for the constant inspiration and for all the blessings you have given. I can't wait to come to LZ again in January.

Take care.

Your friend
Anthony C.

My Dear Son,

Sunday is your 24th Birthday!

Catrina, Lisa and Stephanie are running the Chicago Bank of America Marathon, through the American Brain Tumor Association, for YOU. They are outstanding young women. I will be there to encourage them on, but we all know, you will have the biggest smile of all as you watch your dear friends. Can we even imagine how you must feel? This is such an outpouring of love for you, from them.....and also from so many others. What a birthday gift this is for you!!!!!

Cat and I were thrilled to see the weather was not going to be calling for "SNOW"!!! As you recall....you always seemed to know when to send either a "coating" of snow, or many feet of snow! This weekend is a real bonus!

Will write on Sunday evening and detail the events of the day! Thank you for strengthening me, every day, and always making me aware of what is really important in life.

In love and song...Carpe Diem...forever,
Mom

Billy- It's that time of year when the air turns crisp and memories creep into our minds of times past. You are in all our thoughts Your 16th B-day celebration, your 21st to the casino. What fun. High school was wonderful and I was blessed to have worked with you on so many shows. You were my 3rd son. Tom, Anth, Brandan and Audrey thank you for sharing Christmas's with us as well. We will always take care of mom. I miss you alot and I am still working with students at Carmel. I love the young people. Have a great clebration this year! Love and miss you lots. Mrs S

Billy,
I've been missing you a lot lately. It's always very hard for me when it starts to get cold outside. I'm going to come home for your birthday next weekend and hopefully go to church with your wonderful Mommy. I have already been thinking about you a lot...and flipping through the channels right now I just came across Chicago. Richard Gere's got nothing on you...but it brings back a lot of comforting memories. I'll never forget staying late after practice just sitting in the cafeteria watching you practice "All I Care About". After the first night of the show and still today my dad can NOT stop talking about you and Ashley singing "We both reached for the Gun". Your voice is so incredibly beautiful. Sometimes I watch our old tapes of Chicago and Cinderella just to hear you sing. I'm not a very religious person, but I always cry when I hear Ave Maria because you sang it so beautifully. Please watch over my parents and yours. I love you.

Hey Dude
Billy i can not even tell you how much i have been thinking of you lately. I am directing this amazing one act called "Below the belt" about 10 people's relationships and how they all are effected by this one man leaving his baby in the car on a hot summer day. Its a real tragedy but we have built some really fun moments to try to distract. Everyone has been giving rave reviews, it has made my soul smile. One of the character's mom died of cancer its alittle too real for me to have a reference. I wish you could be there and meet these awesome people , i know you all would love each other, and i know all the girls would be diggin you (wink wink) but i know you are there. Two nights ago a group of us were talking about Chicago, the city, and i was happy i could contribute to the conversation.

I got to sit down and talk about you to one of the other director's, Zelda. We had a real moment and she was so choked up and confided in me she lost her brother. It was an emotional evening and it all started because someone cracked a cancer joke and one of my cast members started smoking again. I guilt trip him left and right because i cant sit by and watch someone do something that they know could lead to cancer. I think i need to sit him down and tell him why i feel this way , you agree?

Anywho i gotta run i got so many things to do before my playwright finally sees his work, he traveled from Arizona (another place you are fond of) to come see this show. We are celebrating the 2nd birthday of the month for our cast tonight. Someone is bringing an ice cream cake. So i gotta run but I love you and miss you so much. Say a prayer for us tonight and I will let you know how it all goes.

Anthony C

PS Hi Momma Misik I love you and miss you too. I cant wait to plan my next trip out to LZ hopefully around the January 16th. We will have to chat soon. Hope all is well and will call you on Monday.

My Dear Son,

Guess what!!!! On October 12th, 2008, your "incredible and loving beyond belief friends", Catrina, Lisa and Stephanie will be running the Bank of America Chicago Marathon on the American Brain Tumor Association, Sharing Hope Team!!!!! They are running in memory of YOU and the courage you brought to EVERYTHING you did in your life, and the MARATHONS you overcame. You taught us how to live and how to run in the heavenly marathon!

In the spirit of their unselfishness, they want to remove the word cancer from our world vocabulary. So here they are...3 young women continuing the journey, and if you can believe it....this run is taking place on your 24th birthday! What a birthday gift!

Can't tell you what your friends have meant to my life. You are a gift greater than any in our lives. Your legacy, in the classmates and friends who care for me are gifts I can never find words to describe. They are blessings.

So to this incredible cause...on this day...on this "Carpe Diem" Day...be close to us all. Thank you, my son.

Thank you...Cat, Lisa, Stephanie!

In love and song,
Mom

My Dear Son,

This is another event that is so important to so many. Next Saturday, the American Brain Tumor Association is having a dinner and the doctors who have been researching brain tumors will be presenting their results.

The doctor Lake Zurich High School helped during their charity bash will be presenting his findings. Certainly there is so much more research to be done in this field, but it is so rewarding to know that work IS being done by incredibly dedicated individuals.

Carpe Diem,
In love and song,
Mom

Billy,
I just wanted to update you on how everything went in Hometown Idol. I made it all the way to the finals!! I was in the newspaper and I got to sing at the State Theater here..Which was amazing!. I did not win but it does not matter to me..I made it far and I helped the Make a Wish Foundation. It was Amazing! Thanks for being there with me!

Liz

Billy,
I just finished a class called "Healer's Art" at school and I wanted to share how you continue to shape my life and my career. Throughout the class, I thought about you a lot and shared your story with my small group. It meant a lot to me to be able to do that.
I also want you to know that I think about you a lot as I learn about the art of medicine. I know that you will shape how I practice medicine. I believe that I will be a better doctor because of your presence in my life.
Finally, I'm proud to be walking in your memory at the ABTA walk in Chicago this weekend. Logan is walking with me again. I wish you had met him, you would have gotten along fabulously. :)

With all my love,
Ashley

Billy,

You would be so proud of me! I tried out for Hometown Idol and I made it through to the next round. I was so scared but I thought about how you were watching me and sang my heart out. I would never have done this in high school but I thought why not now? I know that you will be with me as I continue my journey through this competition and it comforts me. =) I hope your easter is amazing and give a hug for my mom for me.

Love,
Elizabeth

Dude,
Happy Early Easter. I figured i would write you a few days early. I have great news. I have reached my goal weight last week. I never thought id see the day. Things have changed so much this year. Doors are finally starting to open (i know you must be workin your magic) Well I finished a show that i was quite proud of where we had a spaghetti fight onstage. Now I am in rehearsal to be Sister Mary Hubert in Nunsense Amen. I get to sing this big gospel number at the end of the show. I feel uplifted after every rehearsal and the other guys are awesome to work with. We all are going to this piano bar in the villiage to sing on Tuesday. (i will definately have a drink for you!) So many other things are happening that i wont post but I do think of you always and look forward to returning to LZ to see everyone, especially your mama.

Have a Happy Easter and have tons of chocolate, I know I will.

Anthony C.

My Dearest Son,

It's Good Friday, two days before Easter Sunday, and it's SNOWING....actually it's a blizzard. I say that, only because, on days of major significance, I yearn for your presence and all of a sudden, like so many times since your journey to heaven, there is "snow", and somehow I know it's your showering of love to all of us! It makes me stop and remember to be grateful, to clear my mind of things that are really insignificant, and be "of peace".

Stephanie just wrote to you, and I wish you could hear her sing....well, how silly of me...of course you can hear her.....you have a front row seat, as you did for Sara's recital, and all of your friends in whatever part of their lives they are journeying.

Watch over all of our friends. Many are going through much pain...just keep your hand on their shoulder and give them strength.

You know how much my love surrounds you...and...I know how you are caring for me. It is you and dad who give me the path to walk every day.

Well, my love, Happy Easter! (yes, I will leave a candy "peep"....I know how we ALL loved to eat those on Easter morning)!

Sing with all of the choirs in heaven on this Easter, Billy, and tell dad to direct them in all of the songs he did for so many years, in so many churches. (I am singing with you, too).

Carpe Diem...In love and song...
forever......
Mom

Billy,

It's been a while...I'm sorry for not writing in such a long time. But I've really wanted to share this with you. Long ago I heard "Bill" from Showboat, and immediately wanted to sing it. Your mother kindly gave me the music, but we found it was too high for me to sing. Years passed and I've always had that song in the back of my mind. This semester I heard a beautiful rendition by Audra McDonald and quickly looked up the music. My professor added it to my repertoire and we worked on it for a few weeks. I can't express to you how amazing it was for me to work on that piece. Not only technically was I able to grow, but the character within the piece was so intimately woven with myself. Many times in that studio I felt that you were near to me, inspiring me as always. (I must note, the lyrics in the song are not exactly correct. You were well dressed, very talented, and smart. :-) ) I hope that you know, every time I sing that song, it's for you. "I love you, because you're just my bill"

My Dear Son,

As always, I am so blessed to read words in this book from your incredible friends. Carley's words were so moving...and so true. You must be around us all the time, whether with your New York friends, or your high school friends, or all of those whose lives you entered for years or only a moment. We need your spirit. All of us try not to surrender to times that test the physical and mental strength of our souls, and strive rather to overcome and achieve beyond what we ever thought possible. During those times, as Carley so eloquently expressed, so many of us feel your hand, or whisper, or thought. Funny how so many of us experience your "souls light"! Yes...it is good.

Tomorrow is Solo and Ensemble. So many wonderful students, accomplishing so many incredible things with their music. You would, and I am sure, ARE, proud of their musicianship. Pray for all of us.

Well, my love, there has been a lot of SNOW. Question is....have you been ordering it? We still remember the times, surrounding your life, when snow was enveloping our Lake Zurich world. My best wish, is that in some way...the snow...represents how you are holding all of us in your white cloud of love, and your arms are around us all.

Know my heart beats with yours every second. Today, Natanya found your audition sheet from Fall (2002-2003),of senior year for the play "Quilters"...she was cleaning Mr. C's boxes. On the bottom of the sheet, he had written one sentence for his comment on your audition...I shall always remember this...He wrote, "I love that Guy"! (Yes, Billy, I cried)...but I believe you knew the stress before Solo and Ensemble, and finding this was a way for you to somehow tell me to....relax..mom. Well, my dear, I am relaxed...thank you....So always know what we are saying in our hearts, as Ron C. so perfectly expressed..."WE love that guy"...yes, we all love you.

In love and song, Carpe Diem,
Mom

Billy,
I've really missed you lately. Even through you were always so wonderfully funny...you were also always incredibly wise for such a young man. I am struggling right now, and you keep coming to my mind because I feel like if I could just talk to you I know you could help me through this. You proved to all of us that you can be strong through anything and everything. I always felt that I could tell you and your mom anything...and I did...and yet you always listened and consoled me no matter how big or small. The fact that you pop into my head when I am feeling so low tells me that you are out there somewhere...and you are here to give me a hug...but I'd do anything to just hear your voice. I look at your picture everyday and think about how amazing you are. Thank you for taking care of me even though heaven is so far away from Champaign-Urbana. I love you.
Carley

DEAR 'MS.DARBUS'

YOUR SPECIAL BRILLIANT HEAVENLY STAR SHONE DOWN UPON YOU DURING YOUR PERFORMANCES AT LZ PERFORMING ARTS CENTER. WELL DONE...'MS. DARBUS'...KUDOS AND BRAVO!!!

A NORTHBROOK LADY!

Billy~
How proud you would have been tonight of your Mom, she stole the show as Ms. Darbus. I'm sure you are not suprised. I know you were with her up on that stage having just as much fun as she did. Miss and Love You, Billy.

Love~
Andi

Billy,

For the last few months, I have been working on putting together a talent show up here at Marquette. It is the first performance based event I have been a part of since I left Lake Zurich. My passion was ignited every time I talked about the show or walked on stage.

The show was on Wednesday. A coincidence I like to think you and God had something to do with. I dedicated my first ever directed show to you. I knew you were with me during every lighting cue and set change. I hope you enjoyed some of the show, there are some talented people here.

When the show finished, the curtain closed, I felt a sigh of relief and I felt you smiling down on me telling me "good job ugly."

Thank you for being with me that night. Thank you for guiding me these last two years. I miss you.

With love, song, and laughter,
Amanda

Hey Billy.
Happy Anniversary. I dont know if that's the best phrase with being a "happy" time and all but I been thinking about you all day. I was out in Lake Zurich not too long ago to visit your mama and having the times of my life. I cannot wait to return. You are right, your mom definately needs to be on stage. She will be wonderful in High School Musical. I got a sneak preview and was very impressed.

How are the shows up there? I wondered what would Billy do on a night in New York City and so I went to see a show tonight with a friend. We went on the Wicked raffle line and of course we did not win but i thought it would be quite freaky if we did. But i was not about to go home without a show so we saw A Chorus Line FRONT ROW.
It was just mindblowing to see a show about performing and it put a lot of thoughts in my head about my life and where i want to go. A perfect Billy night and with Starbucks too. Well I hope you are being kept busy doing what you love best, performing. I miss you a lot and I want to thank you for being my friend.I have been changed for good!!

Your friend,
Anthony C.

My Dear Son,

Two years ago the gates of heaven opened, and you earned your "star" on the heavenly walk of fame! Today, and everyday, so many remember your drive, spirit, and "wise" directives to us all. I must tell you....we miss all of that and so much more.

Today we had a Mass said for your second anniversary. I was so thrilled, and thought how you must have directed THIS moment! All of the school children were there, and as we entered church, a young girl was playing the violin....just like you did for so many years....and it was beautiful!

Uncle Jim, Lisa, Betty, Lenore, Jan, Jeanne, Karen, Bessie, Denise, Judy and myself gathered to remember and count our blessings "because we knew you". At the cemetery it appeared the snow had melted. Remember, every time your birthday, or last years anniversary came,or the day of your burial, there was a snowstorm.....so this day we thought we might have missed the snow...OH NO! Your area of the cemetery was the only area WITH SNOW! How we laughed!

So many of your friends called today. They are accomplishing so much, Billy, and I believe you are guiding them...and they feel your presence. Thank you...and ..always care for them.

You know how I want to have you with me....to watch you learn...to hear you sing...see your dramatic moments...hear you speak just to me...and listen to your infectious laugh...but...God's plan was different. From all of this ache I think we see cloudless days. There is no doubt that what all of us have learned to value has become that special "gift" you left for us. I hope I am a better teacher, musician, friend, and all you encouraged me to become, because of you. Somehow I know that you are no longer suffering. Somehow I know you are walking effortlessly. Somehow I know you are acting....and, of course, singing, as you always did, with your whole heart. Somehow I know you are "all joy"! Everytime I hear a song, or play a song you sang, I have learned to smile, believing you are singing along in heaven, right with me!

So, my Billy,....Carpe Diem! To dad...my love is endless...to all of our family...may they also feel peace.

Again, and again...In love and song....forever,
Mom

My Dear Son,

Merry Christmas! No doubt your second Christmas with the heavenly choirs kept you singing and dad directing and your grandma creating magic as she played the organ! Uncle Jim, Chris, Patrick, Andi, Jess and myself attended Midnight Mass. You and dad were on the list of those remembered. But that is crazy for me to do that....because I never forget you...not for a second.

So often I wonder what the Lord has you doing in heaven.....and then I hope part of your job is guiding all of us on earth! I say that because I feel, Billy, that you do guide me, and I believe many of your friends as well. Every day my life brings so many blessings....I haven't shut my eyes to those blessings...on the contrary, through you and your suffering and drive, I find myself determined to be more than I ever imagined my journey could describe! More determined to be all you wanted me to achieve.

No one holiday has me thinking of you more....because I think of you always. The dreams you planned on achieving on earth...well....I believe you are filling the heavens with those dreams and more. So many times I really feel you with me....as if you are right next to me...whispering something ( and it always makes sense)...and the result positive. So many times I sense your spirit in the sky...a melody...or a book I am reading...or a song I am playing or singing...and I know, I know you are with me...mother and son forever on a song!

Take care of us on planet earth! Believe how my soul sings to your soul...and all will be in peace. How proud I am of you. You are my Christmas "star"!

Carpe Diem...in love and song..forever!
Mom

Billy- Yesterday, I had mom by my side as we sat through auditions for "Kiss Me, Kate". I felt your spirit as I listened to Sean sing "So In Love" He has been trained by the best... Mom .
I saw a vision of you ... That moment in time etched in my heart and soul. You were against the wall as you sang so beautifully 8 yrs ago that same song. You were so strong and emotional.You sang like an angel. What a gift you gave to us. This time of year brings back so many memories of good times in laughter and fun moments we shared you, me and mom. I am so happy to have her here by my side working on a show together. She inspires me to greater things because she is strong and gifted like you were.
She knows the music of the heart and soul and she shares that gift with so many young people like Sean. I respect that gift she has. I miss you alot especially this time of year. Please guide me to make the right decisions as I cast this show! Young people are so fragile. I know oh so well ...Hope you are enjoying the choirs in heaven! Love and blessings always Mrs S

My dearest son,

Sunday I went to NIU to hear Mike's Christmas Concert. It was wonderful. He is doing so well. Tonight, I went to hear Patrick perform at Northwestern. The concert was beautiful. It snowed. Somehow I felt it was YOUR "sign", and your way of supporting Pat. Thank you. You seem to continue to challenge us all. How fortunate for us that you do that....we are better for it. Keep us all in your prayers, every day, but particularly this holiday season. I miss you decorating the tree, singing carols, and just talking with me, face to face, but I know now we are still doing all of these things...soul to soul and heart to heart!

Carpe Diem!
In love and song,
Mom