Thomas Holda Obituary

Yesterday marked three months since your passing.
Lately, every time I stop thinking about all the craziness in my life, I stare off into space and I see myself walking into that room for the last time, knowing you would not be moving...or looking at me or saying hi.
Now that I think about it, I almost wish I had more time to talk to you on that horrible day...just without everyone in the room crying and talking. Just me and you.
Today I'm crying for you and I gotta admit that it's been a while because I have no one to talk to about how much I miss you. I never thought it would be so hard to get up every day knowing that you aren't here.
Every day...I STILL look to my right to see if you will be sitting in that chair with the dogs.
Things have gotten so bad since you've left. They're just different. Going out is definitely not the same and seeing families together is heart breaking.
I only wish we had one day together, just to talk and be together.

I think about you a lot. It's hard to wake up everyday knowing you are not waiting for me at the kitchen table, or at the hospital..it's just weird. Like one of my friends said, everything is starting to play back in my mind and I remember how I felt when mom told me what happened. I remember wanting to scream...the last place I wanted to be was at work and the last thing I wanted was for you to be alone when you died. I wanted to be there.
I had actually planned to come and see you after work and tell you all of the things I planned on accomplishing...but I was too late. It's just not right, you not being here. It's so strange.
I have dreams about you at least once a week...of me telling you not to go and I wake up crying and then I cry in bed hoping mom won't hear me. I know you would want me to be strong for her and for myself..and you would want us to be happy so I am trying my best.
...I'm going to graduate next fall with my associates and then I'm going to transfer to Dominican University...or DePaul and get two bachelors degrees dad (hopefully). I will get one in music education..so i can always go back to music and teach students what i learned. And I will get one in elementary education...and after that I am going to get a masters degree in teaching and in journalism.
even though you aren't physically here, I know you are always with me..I can feel it. Every time I step outside, there is a butterfly...first it was the crazy weather and now it's the butterflies. There is always one near me...no matter where I am lately. Mom sees them too.
I don't regret anything...and I don't wish I could do anything over because then we wouldn't have learned from all the mistakes we made.
I just hope you know that you really were my best friend and hopefully some day, a great guy can fill the void i have in my heart because of your passing. but then again, there is nobody like you, there never will be.

My dear Uncle.....did you know that it was the first time I was back in Illinois since I moved away three years ago? Barb and Vicki were blessed to have you in their lives, and I was blessed to have you in mine. What a wonderful family the three of you were. I have many good memories.....and I will keep those memories close, always. I'm sorry you had to suffer, but I know you are in heaven, where there is no pain and only happiness. I will see you there one day. Barb and Vicki -- love and hugs always..... xoxo

I miss you very very much.Everywhere i go i have memories of you ,i still cant beleive you are gone , but i know you are not suffering and you are in a better place please help me make the right decisions and guide me we were soulmates i love you forever

Words cannot express how I feel about his passing. I'm deeply sorry for those who feel the same way, but I'm sure we are all lucky to have been connected to him in some way. Rest in peace.

I miss you dad. Mom misses you. Some days, it's so hard to get out of bed in the morning. I miss walking in the hall and seeing you sit in the kitchen with the dogs. Yesterday we put the pull up and I said "he's so sneaky..." because you put the solar cover in the spa. The house smells like the funeral home. If I could have one wish, just one, I'd wish you were still here with us, healthy and happy. Nobody understands what it's like to live each day in this house without you. They can say they know but they don't. I wish you'd give me a sign that you're still here watching out for us. I love you.

My deepest condolences to the complete family and friends of Tom. I know that he will be greatly missed but never forgotten. It was a true honor to have met him and the rest of the family. God Bless you all and may Tom rest in peace.

My love goes out to Barb & Vicki, for they are personal friends of mine. I miss Tom very much and I know he's up there smiling down on all of us.

To The Holda Family, my deepest sympathy in the loss of Tom, your husband, brother, brother-in-law and uncle. May you know that God has him in His care. Love, Vicki