Pamela Werner Obituary

Happy Birthday Sister Pam. Missing you. Think of you often. Hope you are partying with the rest.

Dear Pam....25 years ago i left Chicago for personal reasons...for some time before that I lost touch with all the Werner side....since that time and web surfing i find you,warren and John gone to heaven to be with jimmy jr. Uncle forrest past in1994 and aunt Betty joined him in 2012..... Remember the never ending parties they had whenever your father came to town....I myself live in Europe now but travel often to the states. I tell my 2 children about my childhood and want them to remember where I came from. Mike still lives in the Chicago area

Today is your birthday! Happy Birthday to YOU! I know that the heavens are partying today for sure. The bright sunlight today is an indication of the angels smiling on your special day. I know you have heard by now but I just want to say that your little darling, Anne is her name, has come to find us and from the way it sounds in true Werner fashion she is being welcomed with open arms. You would not be surprised to see how beautiful she is and how much she looks like you. She resembles so many, Kathy, Tammy, and YOU. So much like you. It is uncanny. An interesting story, remember how we used to look for her? Ironically, just about 8 months or so before she found us I had cause to be in contact with her husband over some music I was trying to secure for the upcoming fundraiser. When I first heard about Anne I thought her name sounded familiar and not until I started scouring emails did I put two and two together. The moral of this story is that it was inevitable. Sometimes now I think, maybe it was you who sent me to Robert for the music almost finding Anne. She is found now and she did it all on her own. As you might expect she is in misery because you had to leave before she could meet you but I think the family she has met have given her a good lot of history for her to create some memories for herself. Well, Pam, say hi to the boys and your mom for me and once again, have a wonderful birthday. You know if you were here, I would make you dinner in honor of your day!

Dearest Pammy, Wow, you're quite a crowd up there now and since Mother's joined you it's pretty bleek down here. Mother, our leading Force! Well, now you're joined in Love and we keep you're Memories alive and cherished. Lots of Love Honey, from your favorite redheaded Bro.

Pam,

Hard to believe it has been a year since I last wrote. You know that I think of you often and remember fondly some of the very fun and funny times together. I am sorry I am a litle late with this birthday message but still wanted you to know that i was thinking of you on your Birthday and hope that you and your brothers and whomever else you have found up there got together for a celebration of some kind.

Dear Pam,



Thinking of you especially today. We would be celebrating as we did so often. Happy Birthday wherever you are. I know the heaven's will be partying into the night. Miss your hearty laugh.

Hi Pammy,

I was just thinking of you and I wanted to say hi. I've been very bad about checking in with your family but I'm glad to see that we can all still get in touch with you in this book.

You gave me so much,Pammy. I hope that you really KNEW that I loved you. You could be hard to convince sometimes.

Anyway, you are in my thoughts but mostly in my heart.

Later. With much love, Nora

Just wanted to drop a line to let you know I am thinking of you. Often, but especially at this time of year. It is during this time that you went away and it is also during this time that you found much joy in giving. That seems funny as you were always giving regardless of the time of year but at the holidays you were additionally fond of shopping and gifting people. Even those you did not know because you could. Because you remembered when you had nothing and even then you gave away most of what you earned because it was a very important part of your inner self. Your timely late arrival at family functions, your smile, your trademark laugh and so much more are all missed. This holiday, please be with good people and hopefully with people you love and those that love you. I was just telling your brother that I only put up a small tree this year because I just do not have it in me for much decorating but I could not let the season go by without a tributory tree. I only used a few ornaments this year picking out mostly his favorites as the size of the tree will not capacitate the many ornaments we collected over the years. Although there are much fewer, the little blue angel Warren and I painted for you the year you left is hanging on the little tree in memory of you. That year, it was the only ornament on our tree as we could not bring ourselves to decorate with anything more. That year the tree was dedicated to your memory. Fond ones at that.

Hi Pammy,

I just had a birthday and I missed your birthday phone call. I think of you always. Check in with me once in a while, you know just subtly, with a breeze or a sweet memory. I miss you. Love, Nora

Dearest Pam,



I just wanted to send a quick note to tell you that I am thinking of you, especially today on your birthday. I will light a candle and sing for you a little later. Hope wherever you are they make you a special birthday cake because you are a very special lady. Happy Birthday!

Dearest Pammy, It's been a long time since I sat down with your Guest Book and put my thoughts and feelings to paper but as problems are arising i feel compelled to talk to you about them. I don't have to spell them out here as you are all knowing being where you are. Please help all involved and especially mother. Help us to all remember your great love for us and that we can return it and bestow it upon one another. Much love, Sis, your Polly

Well sis at last Miss Effy has a basement to play in. She seems so happy. I hope you are too. I guess I just wanted to drop in on this page and say how much we miss you and love you kid.

Well kiddo another Bday has passed without you here. Sadly we could not be together. You deserved so much better then you got in life. While we dont visit this site for you and Warren as much as when you fist passed on we think of both you all the time and miss both of you all the time. How could we have kept you with us longer? Wow, I ask myself that all the time. And, I live with that everday. We miss you,love you,think of you but know yours and Warrens spirits must be living it up. Take care always sis.

Just wanted to drop in and say Happy Birthday to you Sister Pam... Hope you have a Heavenly Marvelous Cake and that you are sharing with those you love and that love you. Thinking of you today on your special day!

It is almost time for your birthday and the family talks of coming to be here. I know that may seem ironic but somehow it makes people feel closer to you. I remember talking with you about many birthdays and how you felt so alone. Funny isn't it that you sometimes do not realize how much people do love you while you are here on this earth. I think part of life's lessons as we grow older are to recognize how very important it is to tell one another how important they are to us. I have been chastised for my openly vocal, I love you's all the time but if you feel it, what is wrong with saying it? I think sometimes people don't feel the love that is within them. I think sometimes that you were one of those people and I cry for you knowing that you wanted to feel more. I still cry when I think of a lot of things Pam. I wish there was a way to change so many things. I wish there was a way to see you and your brother smile again. My only solace today is knowing that perhaps the two of you are together somewhere smiling together. Poking fun at things. Perhaps with your dad, Jimmy and Billy. How cool would that be to have to leave one family but be back with another part of your family. I pray for you to be out of pain and I pray that you are at peace. Soon it will be your birthday and I know the heaven's are getting ready to put on a big shindig in your honor. You so deserve it..... Thinking of you..

Well for those who read her and even for Pam this may sound a bit dumb but here goes. Recently while a friend was visiting he asked the names of the cats and after I told him he said Oh Miss Effy Stolfa. I snapped as if someone had insulted me or something and almost yelled No Werner. It sounds dumb but I guess I feel having Effy here is an honor. She and I often sit and talk about how her mommy loves her and I am sorry I dont have a big house for her to run in but we Never forget you Pam,NEVER. You, Warren,Jimmy,dad and even Billy who I never knew are with me every day.

Well Sister Pam it is almost 2004 and a couple of years already passed, since you went away. I just left a note in Warren's guest book and I wanted to also leave one last note here for you before the year is officially up. I am really hoping the two of you are getting together somewhere tonight to party. It would be behoove, (Warren's terminology), you to look for one another. How are you getting on? I hope that you have adjusted to your new surroundings and that somehow you will help Warren do the same. You would have loved it... your whole family has been here for most of the time since Warren went away. We lived together under one roof and we adjusted well under the circumstances. One more thing... John and Pam remarried on Warren and your Dad's birthday. Right here in the house and then a dinner party at Pappadeaux. That was the restaurant we had your 50th birthday dinner at. Another fun time. I miss your laughter. You did not laugh often but when you did it was hearty and very catchy. What a beautiful smile and innocence you possessed. You are missed by many... probably more than you would ever had imagined. See you soon...

Pammy, I miss you so much this Christmas. I wish I could clean your house one more time. I think that each Christmas you had more and more hope in finally making some of those changes you always wanted to make. I miss you; I miss your common sense and keen observations. I have all (or most) of the memories of you but it's not the same as just talking to you and hearing you laugh. So many times I cut you short in phone calls; I am truly sorry for that. Merry Christmas, Pammy; you are loved.

Well dear sishere it is two years ago your final night. Miss Effy and I were sitting here trying to figure out if we could have done something different to keep you here. We would have if we could have. I reminded her that you love her and that we love you and miss you. Now Warren is with you in peace forever. Miss you both.

This is so unbelievable..... It is almost two years to the date that you went away and now your brother Warren has joined you. I hope you are together. I am so worried about him that it is killing me. Pam, please hold his hand and show him the way. I am worried about a lot of other things to. Your poor Mother and other brothers are suffering so much. We all know that we all have to move on one day and yet when it happens, like in your case and now Dear Warren's so suddenly and without warning it is very hard to accept. Everyone was here again.. just like when you left... and everyone went through the motions of a funeral. We thrived as a family which I am eternally grateful for. Totally together we stood to meet and greet all the friends and family again. Two families this time. Our families, my own Mother, siblings and their spouses, their children and your Mother, brothers, and their spouses. Your brothers remarked numerous times that it was a good send off. I hope Warren was pleased. Warren, like you has a sponsored guest book so we can come here to feel closer. I always feel closer as if my writings somehow are seen by you. Please stick together with your Father and other brothers... I will see you soon.

Oh Pam time marches on and with everyday its harder and harder to hear your voice but lord how I think of you. Not a day goes by that I dont tell Effy that you love her. Not a day goes by that I wish you still were here. Pam, just for one more minute to make sure you knew how good a person you were here and there too Im sure. We love you so much and miss you even more always.

Well Pammy I now notice two of my entrys have not posted here. Maybe I better save my rantings for prayer. Yes, the big reunion cam off fairly well but you missed it again. This time you had a good excuse though. Wow, how we miss you though. Seems like everyday you come up in one way or another. I so wish I could blink my eyes and go back in time and keep you here. I think maybe though you are free of all the stuff you had to deal with. Always at the root of the things you did was your love of your family and you will never be forgotten for that Pam but how I wish I had gone back to your house when you called and maybe you would still be with us. Its hard to think I could have helped you and when it counted the most I didnt. We love you and miss you.

Dear Sister, there's no need to say much as you see and know what's going down anyway. It's more for the ohters that i'm writing you here in your Guest Book. Mother's 80th Birthday Party and the Family Reunion was a big success due to the combined efforts of Ben, Dan, Priscilla, Warren, John and Pam G. You were in all our hearts, Mother made a short speech for the nonpresent Family Members, but we all know you were missing the most. We drove by the house and were at the cememtary. Your Head Stone is beautiful, the same style as Grannie's. Well honey, thanks for keeping an eye on us, love and miss you.

It has been a long time since I wrote to you. Sorry for that. Purely negligence on my part. I have been caught up in a lot of stuff as you well know. It occurred to me today that I had not come here to read what others had written and much to my amazement there has been a good loss of time since there was an entry submitted. I still believe that not enough people know they can come here to leave messages and I also believe that will time comes healing. Personally, I do not ever think I will get over your passing or the way in which it all happened but I will try to let it go. For many reasons, I have to let it go... I firmly believe you will not rest until many things are completed. I pray daily for completion of these things. The family is good, lots going on. The August thumping has taken on new meaning this year. A reunion of your extended family to honor family and celebrate birthdays of those present and past. Ben is trying to put it all together. He is doing a great job. Lots of family changes coming about but again, you know all of that. Perhaps you have something to do with it? Certainly you are in a better position to nudge things here and there? Well Sister Pam, I have got to get some zzz's but for now just wanted you to know that I was thinking about you.

Well dear sis they didnt post my last entry here. I guess it was a bit too angry. What can I say I miss you and theres so much that goes on in your name that would anger you.We love you and I look at Effy sometimes and I swear she is saying thanks but I want to go home now. Someday she will and I know you will be waiting. This summer we will once again have a family reunion and I guess you will miss this one too or maybe not.We love you and miss you kiddo.

Dear Pam,



It is just over a year since you left and yet it seems like only yesterday you were sitting in my kitchen on Oakview having a birthday dinner with Warren and I. So many good memories that so few people even knew of. But we knew.... We went to your grave on the anniversary of your death. There was a wreath someone had left for you. We put flowers from just about everybody. To bad you could not see them or perhaps you did see us there meandering about the cemetary in the near darkness looking for where you lay. We drove past your house also. It looks pretty much the same. Today Warren and I are in the last minute fire drill to prepare for the holiday. Your family will arrive on the Monday before. The house will be buzzing with people. It will be nice but it will be void of you. Your picture is up here and there and most assuredly we will speak of you in our pre dinner prayers. I was going over the menu earlier and thought that I should add a brocolli casserole to the menu in honor of you. It was one of your annual requests whenever we all got together. I put it on the list but we will see. There are a few other things that I am making that were also favorites of your. Kind of a food fest tribute to you in your absence. I will leave a plate out for you. After we all go to sleep perhaps you will come and grab a bite. Fashionably late as always. It won't be the same without you but I know you will be there in spirit. Let me take this opportunity to wish you a very peaceful Christmas. Surely where you are there is no anger, and hate, no worry and war, no pain and definitely no suffering. Yes while not the optimum.... while not what anyone would want for you.... surely you are soon to be at peace..... Many thoughts and lots of love...



Priscilla

This must be my private stomping grounds. Wow, 11 months have passed since you passed. I have been thinking alot about you Pam. Missing you mostly. Feeling bad because noone has exacted justice on those who were with you in the end. Someone called at 2am and I asked Dan if it was you. Must have been dreaming again he said. I guess in the end I keep hoping you would call to say you are back from a trip. I wish you would. Effy really does, all us guys are driving her nuts I think. I miss you and love you.

Wow, it is October Pam. I guess not too many people come to this site. Maybe its dumb that I do. The push was starting to get you to Arkansas for the holiday and seemed like we were in Chicago more then we were here. I bought the cats a new toy last night and Effy was like a kitten. I tell her all the time you love her and how happy you are that she is doing well. I cry though cause you arent here. You should be and your death and a few other events since 96 I wish I could close my eyes and wake up and it was all a dream. But I can't and thats life. I miss you and love you and hope whatever heaven really is that you that we love you. Be happy and have peace . God knows you deserve it.

Well sis it is now almost 9 months since you left us. I can honestly say there is not a day that I dont miss you and wish you were here. On the way home from work tonight I was thinking about your awesome smile and laugh. Dam kid you could live it up. Miss Effingham is representing you well. Recently at the kitty beuty parlor the lady said let me clip her nails and Effy rolled over and stuck her paw up as if to say put a shine on those too. She is truly your cat. We all love you Pam and miss you God, will there be a day when this wont hurt so much?

Dearest Pammy



Well it has come and gone and now i too am in the Fifties League. You were in spirit at my party and Ben and Dan represented the rest of the family physically. It was great they were here and i am sad no one else wwas able to make it. Ben and Dan were mostly here because you wished it. i spoke shortly about you at the table and greeted all the guest with the same words i greeted our wedding guests."Thank you all for coming those from near and from afar." i said, "again Pammies come from the furthest, then heaven is far away, or is it not?" We found an Angel and she is on top of the hill i made. It is a lovely spot and when i am there i can talk to you. It is our Memorium to you and i am sure you would have loved the angel. well, honey as i am at work i better get going. love you.

Recently I had a long trip and lots of thinking time. It was a trip my sister should have been on. It was a trip I couldnt have made without my sister. It seemed everyday I would say Pam should be with us. I broke down one day with anger. Anger that there are so many unanswered questions about who and why. Why havent people been punished and so on. Anger because i never had the chance to be part of Pams service. It is not fair ! My sister was a good person, a dam good person. A little screwy in a good way. It has been almost seven months since I kissed you goodbye in your kitchen and god if i only knew what was to happen and if i only knew what happened. Pam was the most tolerent understanding and loving person possible. I cry because someone should answer for your death or maybe we should all answer for your death. Rest in peace Pam. God knows you deserve it.

Pammy, we were in Rome shortly and we had to think of thelast time with you and Nora. I am so happy i could do all the things we did together, i feel especially blessed although you know at times i didn't act like it, like when i had to get you and Nora out of bed to get to the airport at 6:00 AM. We made it though and it was a wonderful trip. Thank you Pammy for accompanying me through so much of my life, so much of my strife. I'm sorry i didn't help you more through yours. i wish you would be here for my birthday party, in spirit i know you will be. we love you and miss you.

Hey Pam,

Well I wont say the obvious things.Wow, when they said your house was ready to seel I had to cry cause I thought, where will she live when she comes back. Sounds stupid I know.We gave the kids a couple things i found and when I left they began crying saying they missed you. They really do miss you just for you. I know you cant be too happy with the way some things have been done but I have tried to do the things that you had always told me you wanted. We love you sis and as per your wishes will be with Paul on his BDay. Miss you everday and want you back.

Dear Pam,

I admittedly have not been here for awhile in more ways than one but I had a burning desire to come see who - if anyone - had written, especially today. There are not many new entries but that is probably because many do not know this place to feel closer, this place to openly talk to or about you is available for them. It is time to get the word out somehow. Today is your birthday and I started singing to you last night at midnight. Did you hear me? Funny aren't I? Always up at the crack of dawn singing to you. And then calling and singing a bunch more times throughout the day. It was an inexpensive gift as I could not compete in that department nor would I ever want to as I feel gifts should be from the heart and not from the pocket. But you seemed to love it. With each call your laughter became more robust and it was observed by me that even if you were not feeling all that up, it seemed that my warbling over and over on the phone made you laugh with gusto. I wish you could be here. If you only knew... or perhaps you do know how very much peoples's lives have changed with your passing. By the way Happy Birthday to YOU!, Happy Birthday to YOU!, Happy Birthday Dear Pam, Happy Birthday to YOU! Many have come to see you today, but alas you won't be here. I find it odd how after people have gone on to their next place everyone wants to come see them. Why did they not make the effort to come before? For whatever reason yesterday while waiting for a client I got the urge to write. You know me... a little writing here and there. Well the urge was so strong.. and that is perhaps because I was thinking to much... you know me.... always thinking to much, that I pulled out a pen and wrote it down immediately. Afterwards, I read it over and over and the more I read it the more melancholy I became. It is so bad it is almost good and in true fashion by me tells a story. It actually made me think of you so on this your birthday, I want to give it to you. To share it with you and from it you will understand many things that I do not have to write here. I titled it Don't Cry For Me...



Don’t cry for me

When I’m gone!

Instead, reach for memories

And do live on.



If there’s just one thing

you’ve learned from me,

My life’s work here

was meant to be.



I see it clearly

skies fading from blue,

I’ll miss you dearly,

But never forget you.



And you,

my friend, my family....

Whatever you do,

Don’t cry for me!



Last year on this date we all were together to celebrate your fiftieth year on this planet. It was not overly fancy or over done just you and your family. They came from everywhere. Paul and Christina from across the ocean, Tommy and Bomber from the UP, your Mother and Will from Arkansas, Pam and John from Chicago, Ben and Dan came from St. Louis and Warren and I came too. You seemed so happy that YOUR family was there with you. You loved your family - in fact you loved everyone and perhaps that led to your demise. Is it possible to love to much. Perhaps you are an example of that or maybe, God knew that you were needed elsewhere to show your incredible gift of love and giving to others. Whatever the reason, it was to soon. I know that there will be a grand party today where you are. I can picture you being offered a beverage and without much thought responding with, "oh, I will have one of each" How we laughed about that statement for years and probably will into the next millenium. Yes, Pam, it may have seemed to you, while you were here, that your life here was insignificant but as you can see now.. that is not and was not the case. One more time.... Happy Birthday to YOU!!!!

I found an old letter from Pam when she was in Minneapolis, going to school. She included a separate sheet titled "Motto" that she called "her motto for living", that I would like to share (I'll correct Pam's spelling):



MOTTO



I'm here because

I want to get closer

to people

I want to get in touch

with my feelings.

I want to examine my values

I want to know how people

see me.

I want to develop more honesty

and trust.

I want to be more spontaneous

I want to change -

I want more out of Life

I've found out it's a good place

to grow! Really is too.





Pamela Louise Werner

March 24, 1970

Yesterday was Valentine's Day and i remember how much we used to talk on the phone to wish each other a happy Valentine's Day and tomorrow is your beloved Jimmy's birthday. Are you together now?

here it is again Honey, another month gone by since you left us. What do you think of all this and us. i miss you so.

Pammy, here's a copy of the beautiful Eulogy delivered by your best Sister-Friend at your Funeral.



For those of you who don’t know me, my name is Nora. Pam and I have been sister-friends since we were 11/12 years old, when we went to St. Ita’s Grade School and both lived on Kenmore Avenue, here in Chicago.



We are here today to CELEBRATE THE LIFE of Pamela Louise Werner.



I could tell you many stories about Pammy. Like when Pam and I went to the Beatles’ concert, following behind Warren and his friend, or about our first jobs as waitresses at Aunt Jemima’s Restaurant at the Edgewater Beach Hotel or, more recently, when we went to Switzerland for Paul and Christina’s wedding and then went to Rome with them on their honeymoon.



I could tell you many stories but these are MY memories, MY gifts. All of us here today have precious moments that we’ve shared with Pam.



Today what I really want to remember is something that we ALL share in memories about Pam – and that is the depth and character of her heart.



Pam’s heart was immense; it was expansive and giving. She could FILL you with her warmth and compassion. Pam’s heart absorbed our sorrows, our pains and our joys. And she did this for everyone she came in contact with, since she was a girl. Strangers felt her glow, her infectious spirit.



Pam couldn’t say no to people because she looked into our hearts and saw the tenderness and vulnerability of the human spirit.



You many not realize that Pam was a very spiritual person. She read inspirational books mostly; she liked to talk about God and her understanding of what God’s purpose could be for us all. Her favorite author was Marianne Williamson, who seemed to speak to her in a very personal way. Pam was a SEEKER; she sought peace of soul and she prayed longingly for clarity and understanding.



Pam had her flaws: she could give new dictionary meaning to the words stubborn, obstinate, pig-headed and bossy. But that all seems very minor now, doesn’t it?



We may not agree with some of Pam’s life choices and decisions but remember that it is not for us as mere mortals to judge. Pam REALLY meant to do her best.



Remember Pam for her ROBUST sense of humor and her sense of compassion. Be grateful that she was given tangible gifts in this life to ease her struggles to find peace in a world of loneliness. We don’t have to look far for Pam because I feel she will ALWAYS be living in our hearts. A light like Pam’s does not cease to exist.



I’d like to end with an excerpt from a poem by Mary Oliver, a Pulitzer-prize winning poet. The poem is called "In Blackwater Woods”.

…

Every year

Everything

I have ever learned

In my lifetime

leads back to this: the fires

and the black river of loss



whose other side

is salvation,

whose meaning

none of us will ever know.



To live in this world

you must be able

to do three things:



to love what is mortal;



to hold it against your bones knowing your own life depends on it;



and, when the time comes to let it go,



to let it go.



Thank you for being such a gift in my life, Pammy, and thank you for loving us all so well.

I thought this guestbook would be over after the 30 days but I am glad to see that it will continue for awhile.

I think your death shocked us so much, Pammy, that we didn't know what to say at the time.

I've scattered your ashes in the Pacific Ocean, at Shell Beach,near where I used to live. I hope you've found that peace of soul you needed. I'll continue to think of you in the present tense for awhile.

Love, Nora

Dearest Pammy,



At your Funeral i tried to say the following but i didn’t get it out too well, so here it is again.



There’s not much i can say or add to Nora’s beautiful Eulogy for Pammy. There is one thing though i want to say. It’s a line from Pamela’s and my favorite song we used to hear and sing along with while washing up after dinner as kids. It’s from the Last Kiss. At Pam’s 50th Birthday we (The Brothers 5 OH!) wanted to sing it, but due to rehearsal schedule difficulties, we didn’t get it together, although we did sing it, with help from the whole restaurant. Now, just a short excerpt for you Pam



...hold me baby for a little while...

6 years ago you arrived with Nora for our Wedding and i dragged you to the opera. you were jet lagged and not much interested in the opera and in the break i sent you to your hotel to get some rest. How patient and understanding you were and excepted everything because you loved me so. i'm so sorry i didn't leave with you and go have a drink and now it's too late, but i know you are at peace with the Lord and happy. keep an eye on Mom till she joins you and all of us. we miss you bushels!

Dear Pam, I hope you are finally resting and enjoying the scenery up there. It has only been a short while since you left and yet it seems an eternity. So much still has to be done. If you have any influence please guide the people that you know need divine intervention. Please help those you left behind to find an inner peace and to rid themselves of any guilt if it exists. I envy you in some ways because you are not suffering anymore. I often think of how carefree people thought you were.... how they abused your generosity and how you really started to live your life without much concern some 12 years ago. I remember the day you walked into your house after showing you so many and after how Warren and I tried to talk you out of the city and into the suburbs. When you walked into your house.. you just knew it was where you wanted to be. At least at the time it was where you wanted to be. I remember saying to you that once you moved in you would not go out for 5 or more years cuz it would take you that long to get tired of the space it provided. We laughed about that over and over the years and yet the house did make a bit of a hermit out of you. For the most part, I think you enjoyed your life and I am happy that you could do that. I know if you could, you would still be here today and that is what hurts the most. The fact that you would have wanted to be here for a long long time and now you can't. God Bless YOU Pam for your peace is coming.

Well last time I wrote in this book it was like 3am and my spelling was horrible. So to you pam as you read this all on heaven.com. Miss. Effy has certainly taken over the house. She will sometimes hiss at my boys just to let them know there is a new queen in the house. She is doing fine and I always tell her that you love her. I have been thinking about so much that we talked about especially with the 20 hours we had in your car together. I think I should take that simmons cruise that you were suppose to and Pams wiener world that we talked about for years.We told the kids this weekend about you.They miss you pam and so do I. On new years eve I started to call you as I have many times. I always wanted to call Oprah and have her call you cause I just think you knew that you were loved for Just you. Love you Pam and thinking of you.

Dearest Pammy



keep looking in your guest book, don't know why except that i'm thinking of you and thinking maybe i'll find something of you in this book. i've been reading that book i mentioned before and i keep running across gifts you sent out of the Bloomingdale's Catalog. Now that it's too late the value and the loving intentions are more apparent and it hurts me that i can't tell you how much they all mean to me. Of course it's only matter but it matters to me, as you do too. Love ya, your

Pammy Dearest, it's now one month since you left us for greener and more peaceful pastures. We miss you and know you are further then we and with God. Tomorrow at 9:00 AM the Mass will be said at St. Ita's in your name. At Midnight Mass i sang at the top of my lungs to be sure you heard me. the Priest winked at me, either he liked my singing or i was off key. Maybe he just was happy to see an Irish looking catholic in the church, after all, St. Ita's used to be an Irish congregation.

Dearest Pammy,

it’s me again. i keep looking and reading in your Guest Book, it’s a little like communeing with you or praying or just remebering. i stumbled across something i thought i should write. it’s out of a book you were reading while on the trip to Zion National Park when you would have preferred to stay in Las Vegas, but we dragged you out in the Wilderness, luckily we filmed it and while watching the Video of the film i could see you reading this book, "All i really need to know i learned in Kindergarten" by Robert Fulghum. i borrowed your book when i was visiting you in 1991 when i destroyed your house by taking out the closet in your bedroom and before we left for the airport now to come home for your funeral, i grab it from the shelf to read on the plane. In the Foreword to book, Mr. Fulghum wrote,

"The Story Teller’s Credo"

i believe that imagination is stronger than knowledge.

That myth is more potent than history. That dreams are more powerful than facts.

That hope always triumphs over experience.

That laughter is the only cure for grief.

and i believe that love is stronger than death.



I think this Creed applied to you and your life Pammy and especially for us now, the last two lines.

Talk to you soon honey!

Dearest Pammy

how i hated they way you always bossed me around and made me do things i didn’t want to and how i loved the concern care and attention you gave me, even though i would protest by eating ants to make you angry. we were the closest in age but i knew i wasn’t your favorite. we all know who that was but we know you loved us and our families all. There will never be a way to thank you enough for all the love you gave but i promise, i will remeber and honor thee as long as i live and i am sure, my girls, and their children and children’s children will carry on in the PLW Legacy. i love you

To my loving sister there are so many things I wish I could say to you and so many plans left undone with you. So sister let me say this,may we all have as kind a heart as you had and may we all be as caring you were to way too many.May we be guarded from the wolves in sheeps clothing that tried to befriend you.May we cherish the joy and laughter that only you could bring to a room. I love you Pam. Your spirit will always be in my heart and my chidrens. You are with God now as you always have been. Dear sister,dear friend,dear aunt andcertainly just a dear person.

P.S. Pam if u have the internet in heaven dont think I still wont sick richard simmons and Oprah on u.

Well what can I say,She's been gone for over a week now and I can't stop thinking about her.In the year I knew her she was always been so sweet.I will never forget the last thing she bought me but I won't go their.She was always funny and everyone loved her.The first time I met her I was going to help her clean her house and we ended up going to eat and then to the bar where I got her up dancing on a pole.We had so much fun and like I said I can't stop thinking that she's not going to be their.

I LOVE YOU PAM Love always Danny

For Pam, good times together were always that! Your hearty laugh and your kind and very generous heart will assuredly be missed by many. We know the travels we had and for us they will be in our memories. For the family.... I am deeply saddened by your loss. I share in your grief and I hope for you too that memories of Pam... the good times.... will be what guides you through this very difficult time.

Dear John,Warren,Tom,Peter,Tammy and Pam's Mother Dorothy,



I am deeply sadden to hear of Pam's death......I am glad I got to know her better over the last 9 years......we kinda lost contact over the last year but I often wondered how she was doing--wanted to send prayers to your family

She'll be missed

Hi warren,

I went to swift school with you john and pam. Hope you remember me.

I was very sadden to read of pamela's passing. My condolescences to you and your family.

Hoping to hear from you!!!!!

Jerry

Our deepest condolences to the famliy of our dear friend Pam. The Hogen family will always consider Pam,a member of our family. We will always keep Pam in our hearts remembering all the good times. We love you Pam and we'll miss you!!