Michael Lesmeister Obituary

Thinkin' about you, man!

Miss ya, man. Think of you often and pray.

I was in shock yesterday when I finally took the time to try and reach out to you, old friend, just to find your name on Legacy and not Facebook. I have been grieving the loss of my father, his funeral was the same day as your fifteenth anniversary of your flight to heaven. The memory which brought me to think of you was the time your cousin, his friend, you, and I tried to go camping at the Chippewa Campground at the Kankakee State Park. I don't know how we got so far off the trail, but we got stuck on some crazy cliff in the dark and I lost my Dad's cellphone out there. I didn't realize it until the next day after I drove you all the way back home to Chicago, so I drove all the way back to the campground and luckily found my Dad's phone. Little memories such as those fun times have helped me get through this passed month without my Dad, and I was really hoping to just find you and talk about those fun times togethet. I didn't know that those last minute trips together were really going to be our only chance to hang out ever again. It was such a carefree time in all our lives, everyone getting along and just living. Becoming a mother sidtracked all the fun times you asked me to join in with your shenanigans, and I'm sorry that I didn't try harder to reach out sooner. I will never forget the time that Turbbit took me, Christina, and you out to Turtle Island and the Johnboat ran out of gas and we were stranded out there for the night. You guys were so cool that Christina and I didn't even care that we had no way to get out of there haha, just living life in the moment. I definitely won't forget the time that Schwag got out and you had me driving up and down all the alleyways calling out "Schwag!" You were so scared that he was going to get dognapped and takin by some homies and turned into a bait dog, so we drove all over. Just when I thought you were going to give up because you said to go back to the house, you said "wait here, I just gotta run back in for something " and you came out a with the biggest piece of pizza, almost half a pizza!, and you said "this might take longer to find him than what I thought!" Hahaha, we kept looking but the neighbor ended up bringing him home to you, you loved that dog so much Mikey!
I almost wish that I didn't try to reach out, what kind of friend am I to wait almost sixteen years to reach out to an old friend because I am grieving the loss of my Dad. Yet, through all these years, I have looked back on those fun times and always thought, I hope Lefty is doing good. I hope that he made it to his Real Estate test that day he told me to come hang out even though I was going study for my Spanish Final the entire time. If I would have known that you were gone this whole time, I don't think that I could have looked back on those times the same. I looked back at those times as youthful and carefree memories these last sixteen years. I don't want to look back on those times as our last times to hang out. I really hope that this time on Earth is just the beginning of our eternal lives in Heaven, and our time here now is about reaching our hands out to one another so that our circle of friends one day will be complete. I Love Ya like a brother Mikey!
In Jesus' name a pray to see you again

I have been thinking about you a lot lately. Holding on to the purpose our lives crossed paths.

Mike. I think of all the turns life took to meet you and know you. I carry that with me as I am on earth. You have been helping me not take that for granted. I am thankful to you. Happy birthday Lefty.

miss ya all the time. you were a true friend.

You are not forgotten but remembered every single day of our lives. My longing for you is beyond measure. How I wish you were here to be that amazing Uncle Mike to Avery and Carter and share life with all of us. Did you get the balloon they sent on Sunday? I know your Easter Birthday was a blessed celebration in heaven...Sending love and hugs to my baby boy.
Mom

Happy Birthday in heaven baby boy. We again celebrated your life without you here beside us. It seems to be getting harder each year as we long to hold you. You were remembered by so many on your birthday. We had a visit from a friend of yours sharing with us the big heart you had and what a good friend you were. Your niece, Avery knows you well and at times we think she is talking to you. She sang happy birthday tooo you and blew out your candle. I know you saw how excited she was to send that balloon off to you. We all love you so much and miss you more every day. Sending you all my love...
Mom

A ton of good memories and friendship that I'll never forget. Miss ya, bro.

Miss you.

I think about you often. There's always a reminder. I know your watching down, and you are proud of the woman and mother I have become. Had I known this was here before, I would've written to you earlier. You taught me so much. You were so generous, and loving. I wouldn't be who I am if it wasn't for our time together, Thank you. I wish you were here, I would've said so much by now...

It's hard to believe that your birthday is here again and harder still to believe that you aren't here to celebrate it. Time numbs the pain a little, but understanding why you had to leave us doesn't get easier.

I was so glad to see your amazing family last weekend and thrilled to help them celebrate. There are so many new little ones arriving this year- it is comforting to know that you will look over them all. When I think of you and babies, I can't help picture how cute you were with Zeth when he was a baby. Also, I think of your mom's sweet story about you when Amanda was little- it was one of my favorites. As I've said before, it's great having the memories but still hard that we can't make new ones.

Forever,
Kristin

Everything about spending New Year's Eve in NYC this year reminded me of our adventure back in '02-'03, especially seeing the skyboxes in Madison Square Garden. While the memories always make me miss you, they also remind me of the blessing I was granted of having you in my life.

I missed the candle-lighting this year for the first time. Lighting one at home just wasn't the same as being with your wonderful family and seeing your mom's beautiful tree. Hopefully, the weather will cooperate this year.

Love,
Kristin

I never got a real chance to say good bye friend. You made me laugh but I'm most satisfied that I made you laugh. From our road trips to our times of comfortable silence...there isn't a time I have forgotten. You are one of a kind and sadly missed.

Hey Baby Boy,

The Holidays are here again and I am painfully aching for you. I share my sorrow with and walk beside so many other moms who long for their beloved children. Please help us to be strong as we press on toward the goal and finish the race. Missing you with all my heart. Merry Christmas in Heaven.
Love, Mom

Hey Brother, I guess I didn't realize this site was still on here until Mom mentioned it a couple weeks ago. WOW, there are so many things that have happened...but you know them all. I'm certain you had a lot to do with them too. Kristin's "Mike", My "M.atthew C.hristian L.ayne" who shares your initials and was also born on the 5th. Did you enjoy the wedding? We missed you, but I know you were there. Keep sending us signs Mikey. Until we meet again..... Thanks for being my big brother, always. I love you.

PS...did you like how I got married on the anniversary of our night downtown at the fireworks! One of my most cherished memories. In fact, I'll attach the picture.

The years keep rolling by... Happy Birthday once again. You have lots of new company in heaven... take care of them all.

Love you,
Kristin

Hello My Son,
Good things are happening for your baby sister and for Kristin...
Be with them on their special days. We all love you and miss you so much.
Love, Mom

Hello Mike,
Our live crossed paths and have seen so much. I take nothing for granted now. I am so grateful for you and yours. EVERY day I think of you. God uses You to bring me determination to finish the race before me. I have a family now. I will never forget the day we met. I will never forget the day I said goodbye. I know you are in heaven. I know I will see you again. I pray for continued comfort for your family.
Love
Matt & Serenity & Family

Hey Mikey,
I never did think of something great to say and I'm writing this late, but Happy 3-0... I wish we were celebrating it.

Love you forever...

Thank you, sweetheart. I love you.

Hey sweetie,
This past Sunday was a (yet another) strong memory day for me... of us spending the 16th, which was a Sunday that year also, at your Grandma's with Amanda. Then we went rollerblading that night and you kept saving me from falling...my hero:)

I can't believe it's almost your birthday again, and that you would be 30. Wow~ I'm not even sure what to say about that right now... I'll try to think of something great in the next few weeks.

Mike, please help me to remember that you know how much I love you and how that's what is important. I keep focusing on the negative instead of on the love we share. I am certain it stretches well beyond space and time. Send me a sign soon to keep the reminders fresh...I think I've been missing them lately.

Missing you always...

Happy (our) Valentine's Day, Mike. I miss you every day.

~Take care of Josie for me... she got me through some really tough times a few years back. I knew then that you sent her to me, and while I'm not sure why it was time for her to leave, I am comforted by the idea that she's with you. I hope that she, Schwag, and Indica are having a blast.

Rest in Peace Josie Wales (1997- October 29, 2007)

Love you, miss you...as always...watch for your candles next week...

I'm so sorry that I haven't written in so long, Mike! It seems like there is always so much going on and it's hard to keep up with everything. And, as I've written before, I don't like that my cemetery trips are becoming so infrequent. I'm going to work on that.

It's so weird that sometimes I feel more at peace with everything, but more lately I feel like the full reality of you being gone is just starting to hit me. At these times, it seems like things can only get harder. I miss you so much every day, Mike.

Keep an eye on everyone here- we definitely need it.

Love you forever,

miss you, mike. miss you all the time.

Happy Birthday Baby!
The idea of you turning 29, with 30 around the bend, is crazy!! I feel so cheated that I don't get to see all the amazing things that you would have done with the rest of your years.

I hope you liked your balloon!! I wasn't able to be there, but your mom had me on the phone and gave me play-by-play commentary. It definitely sounded like she picked out a balloon that was perfect for you!!

Love,
Kristin

Happy Valentines Day, Mike

I miss you so much- some days are tougher than others. I'm sure you aren't surprised that today is a difficult one. Every year I think about the day we had, including you leaving me a rose and card on my windshield at work. Silly me that I thought that was the only gift I was getting that day!! I smile when I think about how you didn't want your mom to know that you gave me the ring a day early-you were too excited to wait any longer:)

Jeff's anniversary was the other day, which adds to this being such a tought time of year. I guess you already know that a former student of mine was killed in a car accident last weekend. My heart hurts so much for his family, knowing all too well how hard the days ahead will be. Life really does go on though, somehow.

I love you forever!

...your light will always shine. I know you were with us tonight at the Worldwide Candle Lighting. It was so beautiful! How about that Sandy? What did Brian think? You are with me always. I love you.
Mom

Hey Buddie.... Your on my mind constantly, really wish u were here. Keep on Truckin' brother. Will alway's play you one for you. Miss my road-trip partner and the Lbs. of crab-legs at Joe's we inhaled every so often. Love you.

Time just keeps slipping away, Mike. I can't believe that you left us three years ago. *I never thought I could make it this far with a pain in my soul and a hole in my heart* Nothing is the same without you.

I'm adding a picture to your guestbook. It's a good one of you, but not very good of me. But it's the only one on my computer right now, so it will have to do. Now everyone that visits this site will see your sweet smile.

Love forever and always,

Happy Birthday sweetheart!



You are so missed, of course. I was glad to get to the cemetery and to see your mom, Amanda, and Jeff today. It's been too long since I've been there and seen them. And it's been WAY too long since I've seen you. I hope to see you in my dreams tonight.



Until we meet again...

Hi Mike and everyone who reads this~



I wrote an email to legacy.com because I now have had a few messages that never appeared. Apparently, there is a problem with my writing song lyrics. They have added one of the enrtries with the lyrics removed; the song was "What You'd Be Today" by Kenny Chesney. That was the song that Danny and Melissa sang to which was referring in the post from January 24th. I suggest giving it a listen to anyone who comes across this post- it is a bittersweet song with really beautiful lyrics.



As always, Mike, you are on my mind and I am missing you terribly!



With lots of love,

Today is the 5 year anniversary of Jeff's death. It is difficult for me to remember so many little things about you both, things that I once treasured so much. This poem is on my fridge and it reminds me of how you lived... you and Jeff both managed to fit a lot of living in the short time that you were here. Miss you and love you forever...



"Look to this day, for it is life.

In its brief course lie all

the realities and truths of existence,

the joy of growth,

the glory of action,

the splendor of beauty...

Today well lived makes every yesterday a memory of happiness and every tomorrow a vision of hope.

Look well, therefore, to this day"





-Ancient Sanskrit Proverb

Danny and Melissa played this song at the candle lighting. I hadn't heard it before at the time, but now I keep hearing it on the radio so I thought I'd write the lyrics on here. It seems to fit perfectly with how I feel so many days.

I love and miss you, Mike

Merry Christmas in Heaven Michael. Oh how our hearts ached to have you with us today. We stayed in town and did our best at having our traditional Christmas. We know that is what you wanted for Amanda, Dad and I. I hope you are happy to see the lights we put up. We all tried real hard to let your light and love shine on through us today. I know you are with us always.

Love, Mom

Hi sweetie,

It's been such a long time since I've written on here. I actually wrote a long entry the morning of my sister's wedding (after I woke up to "Box Of Rain" and felt like I had a sign that you were with me.) I must have been really tired and hit the wrong button because it never posted. Anyways, it was nice to have an early morning reminder that you would be there with us and would see the beautiful flowers that your mom made:)



The candle-lighting was so perfect, made even more so by your mom's handiwork. It is so amazing that she creates such beautiful things and shares them with others. I love putting my "special ornaments" on my tree. Amanda is so good at speaking in front of people and is so beautiful. Another one of your mom's creations I guess!! It was nice to see J.P.'s family again, along with your family, Danny and his family, the Bechts, Linda, Chris' parents, and all the other people that I don't see often enough. Danny was talking about playing at his daughter's wedding, and I remembered that I was there with you. How nice to have a fun memory- and he said that he has a video of you dancing with your mom that night. I would love to see that.



I was going to write Box of Rain on here, but this is getting very long already so I'll write it another time. I wish a blessed holiday season to everyone that reads this!



Love,

Kristin

hey mikey, its been a long time since i've been here. you are always on my mind a little more lately than usual. Joey still says i miss my uncle lefty. but he said i know hes an angel mom and that hes watching over me. if you are watching over him i know you have your hands full cuz mine are overflowing down here. im sure you see that though. I miss you monkey boy!!! Luv, Missy

Hey sweetie,

My sister's wedding is today, and I am awake at 3 am. I hit the music button on my alarm (in my sleep:) and woke up to Box of Rain. What a perfect song for the moment.



Your mom is so great (like we didn't know that already) and arranged beautiful bouquets and Cheryl's headpiece. Once again, I am amazed by the wonderful family you have. I am so lucky and glad that you brought them into my life. I truly don't know how I could have gotten through losing you without their support and guidance.



Thanks for the two butterflies and dragonfly that Heather and I saw playing in the yard the morning after my surprise party. I love the reminders that you are with us all always.



Please watch over your sister with her new place and job, my sister and Joe today, and your family with all of their purpose-driven missions.



I love you!

Hi Mike,

So much has been happening lately, Mike, that it's hard to keep up with it all. It's been difficult to make it to the cemetery and to keep in touch with your family as well. I'm going to try to get my schedule together so I can do more things that are important to my spirit. In the meantime, wish me luck with my new job and grad school program!



There is so much hate and sorrow in the world sometimes that it's hard to stay positive. Give my Uncle Larry a hug for me- it's been difficult to deal with losing him and my Papa in less than a year. I'm sure that you gave both of them a big welcome. Knowing that I will see them, you, and Jeff again is really my only comfort sometimes.



Please keep sending your loved ones little reminders that your spirit is still around... you have left such a beautiful legacy and we all need an extra reason to smile:)



Love forever,

Kristin

you are missed

MIKE , I THINK ABOUT YOU EVERY DAY, AND MISS YOU TERRIBLY, SO DOES HOLLEY(DOG).....YOUR FRIEND, JIMMY

Hey bro...I just got back from Vegas!! My second trip there since you've been gone. I miss you more then ever. I'm glad I ran into your friend Tony the other night, he had some fond memories of you. Everybody does! You'll be on my mind next weekend when I'm in Boston!!



Love you,

Hey Mikey...



Wow, 2 years already. It seems like just yesterday. I can remember every detail of what happened on this day 2 years ago...What I did, what I was wearing, who was there, what mom said to me. It is all still so surreal! Kristin is right about this gloomy day. I'm sure it represents how many of us are feeling. I miss you so much each day. I know you are with us still, but I still miss you the same. I'll be graduating from grad school on May 6th....send us some sunshine :) And hey, pull some strings up there and help me find a job! I love you Mikey and miss you sooo much.



Your sis,

Well Mike, I've spent this week thinking about the last days that I was fortunate enough to have you in my life. I just started to write them, but deleted it because you already know them! Even good memories are so hard to think about because they had to come to an end. I miss you every day and always enjoy the little reminders that you're still around.



I'm getting together with your family this weekend. Spending time with them is always so inspiring and I am so thankful that they have remained a part of my life. I hope you remembered to send your mom some extra birthday love!



I'm off to work on a very rainy and gloomy morning, which reflects how I feel today. I love you and miss you more than words can express.

Hey there



Happy Belated Birthday!!! I did not forget, beacause you, me, dave and mark daly have celebrated are birthdays together cause there aroud the same time. We miss you down here but I know that you and dalena are taking care of each other in heaven. Forever missing you.



Kellie Reilly:)

Hey big cuz!

Just got a burning need to find this spot again (after way too long) and say a thing or two - you got the Happy Birthday from Cin' n' me on Tuesday, but wanted to say it again and a BIG thank you for inspiring Kristin and 'Mand to get us together to celebrate you last weekend. Your spirit is so strong and so alive! Kristin has officially gotten us into the Dead and Phish, and Cindy and I won't rest until we find the Get Back on the Train album to jam to in honor of you. Thanks for the time with some of your crazy/wonderful friends, and THANKS again for bringing Kristin into our lives. You kicked off the April birthday parade in style, and I know you'll be celebrating for cousin Dave and Cindy and your mom from up above, and whistling and shouting with us at 'Mand's 2ND graduation in a few weeks - some excuses for happiness near your anniversary, which is on all of our minds. You ARE happiness, Mike. I know you watch over us and the little guys and our whole family, and that you're always with your mom and dad and Amanda and Kristin - and there aren't enough candles in the world to light to thank you for that! I LOVE YOU!

Hi sweetheart,

Happy Birthday in heaven. It feels like I just left your "26" message a few days ago, and a week since I spent your 25th with you.



"Eyes of the World" has made me think of you lately, so I'm going to leave a few lines for your special day. I hope you enjoyed your balloons, and thanks for my present from you. It was the perfect end to a difficult day.



"There comes a redeemer and he slowly, too, fades away

And there follows his wagon behind him that's loaded with clay

And the seeds that were silent all burst into bloom and decay

And night comes so quiet, its close on the heels of the day



Wake up to find out that you are the eyes of the world

But the heart has its beaches, its homeland and thoughts of its own

Wake now discover that you are the song that the morning brings

But the heart has its seasons, its evenings and songs of its own



Sometimes we live no particular way but our own

And sometimes we visit your country and live in your home

Sometimes we ride on your horses, sometimes we walk alone

Sometimes the songs that we hear are just songs of our own"



-Hunter/Garcia



I love you

Happy Birthday Michael :)

TODAY WE WILL BE CELEBRATING YOUR LIFE AND REMEMBERING THE JOY OF LOVING YOU. HAPPY 27TH BIRTHDAY SWEET SON. HOW DOES IT FEEL TO BE 27 AND ALIVE IN HEAVEN? WE LOVE YOU AND MISS YOU SO VERY MUCH. MAY A CHOIR OF ANGELS SING HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO YOU.
ALL MY LOVE FOREVER,
MOM

I watch my brother and sister-in-laws wedding video at least once a week. That is when I had the pleasure of dancing and having fun with you, Michael. In the background is us dancing and laughing to the song, You were always on my mind, and my friend, you are. There is not a day that passes that you don't bring a smile to my face or a tear to my eye. Even though time has passed, the memory of you is vivid in my mind...The little, but substantial time that we have shared, you have left a terrible pain and loss in my heart. I miss you and can't wait to see your smiling face again.

Merry Christmas Mike!



You are so missed, but I know you're still here in out hearts. Holidays just aren't as fun without you. Keep on sending blessings in the New Year!



Love and miss you!!

More sad happenings, Mike. My grandpa died last night from a sudden heart attack. Give him a big hug from me and send some extra blessings to my grandma. She definitely needs them.



I love you!!!

Hi Mike,

I can't believe that I wrote you a letter without talking about Pumpkin Carving Night. Heather sure has come a long way since her pumpkin of 2001, hasn't she?? And Zeth is now old enough to help a little. He was so funny, saying "Ewww, gross" when he would get the guts on his hands. It really is times like this when I miss you more than ever.

Hi sweetie,

I guess you're having a lot of laughs lately, watching some of us down here and all the crazy things that we are all going through.



Thanks for all you've done lately, watching over Melissa and my sister in their car accidents, Maureen with her pregnancy, and me in all my everyday activities. I know you're also keeping an extra eye on your family, too. They need it right now.



I'm requesting that you watch over the Marszaleks (and tell Jeff to also!) They have dealt with a lot of sadness already. Now Val is 7 months pregnant with a baby girl (Jeff is an uncle!) and Dan, her boyfriend, lost his brother suddenly just 8 months after losing his mom. I hope that thoughts of the baby coming will help them through all of these struggles.



I miss you Mike, can't wait to see you. I haven't had any signs from you lately, please send some so I can have some happy thoughts.



Love you forever...

Hey Mikey,



Can you believe where are mom has to be tomorrow?? Our little mom :) Kinda funny in a way, I'm sure you're rooting her on from up there! I miss you so much. Love your baby sis,

Mike,

I know you have been looking down on us this past week. It has been a whirlwind. Thank you for being with me yesterday, and please keep directing me in the path that we should go with all of this. (ie: mine and Kristin's plan ;) I am just so sorry that it all had to happen.



I miss you more then ever! I love you Mikey!!!!

Hi sweetheart,

So much is happening lately that it's hard to even keep up with it all. I heard a story about Cat Stevens on the news this morning, and it made me think of you. It was right after my birthday a few years ago when you made me dinner at your house. We had just started seeing each other more and I was a little unsure of starting a relationship. When I walked into your house and I heard one of my favorite Cat songs playing, I knew that all of my doubts were silly. I'm going to give you one of his songs today, even though it's not the same one. This one just seems to fit better right now.



Missing you more every day, my love...



"Morning has broken, like the first morning

Blackbird has spoken, like the first bird

Praise for the singing, praise for the morning

Praise for the springing fresh from the world



Sweet the rain's new fall, sunlit from heaven

Like the first dewfall, on the first grass

Praise for the sweetness of the wet garden

Sprung in completeness where his feet pass



Mine is the sunlight, mine is the morning

Born of the one light, eden saw play

Praise with elation, praise every morning

God's recreation of the new day..."

Hi sweetheart,

It took me a long time to decide what to say today. I have been missing you so terribly lately and everything that has happened still seems so unreal. I was looking through songs for (another!) set of lyrics to write for you. I came upon "Attics of my Life" and it really seems to fit how I'm feeling right now. When I leave for work today, I'm going to check your cds and see if I can find it on any of them; I'll be happy if I find it so I can sing it and think of you.



Kristin



P.S. Sorry I haven't been to the cemetery lately... starting school has been so crazy!!



"In the attics of my life

Full of cloudy dreams unreal

Full of tastes no tongue can know

And lights no eye can see

When there was no ear to hear

You sang to me



I have spent my life

Seeking all that's still unsung

Bent my ear to hear the tune

And closed my eyes to see

When there were no strings to play

You played to me





In the book of love's own dream

Where all the print is blood

Where all the pages are my days

And all my lights grow old

When I had no wings to fly

You flew to me





You

flew

to me





In the secret space of dreams

Where I dreaming, lay amazed

When the secrets all are told

And the petals all unfold

When there was no dream of mine

You dreamed of me"

Hi Mike,

Wasn't Coventry so much fun?? I know you were hanging out with us and laughing at us dancing in the mud. Vermont was just so beautiful and we all had such a nice time. Of course, things weren't as crazy without you around!!



The boys started their last set EVER with this song. It was such a memorable and magical moment. I was telling Melissa how this song had always reminded me of you, so it was such a perfect time to hear it. I miss you so much sweetheart...keep sending reminders that you're on the best adventure that I can imagine!!



"If time were only part of the equation

Then you could draw the boundaries of our cage

You wouldn't pile another stone upon me

And I'd be happy just to watch you age



But everything is in its own dominion

And waiting in the shallows as I do

Appeases me as water slowly trickles out

Which isn't nearly fast enough for you



It isn't nearly fast enough for you

It isn't nearly fast enough for you

Its what I was afraid of

I stumble into view

But it isn't nearly fast enough for you

It isn't nearly fast enough for you..."

Hey sweetheart,

My last note to you didn't show up!! I've been so out of it lately, I think I forgot to hit the button to send it!



Well, I am off to see "the boys" for the last time. I expect you to be watching and dancing with us at Coventry. I also really hope that they play a lot of our special songs... I feel so close to you when I hear them live! I miss you so much, sweetie, and can't wait to see you again!!



I'm going to give you the song that I think sums up all of you... when I played it for your mom, she agreed. If Phish plays it, I'll be imagining all the things you did that made the song fit you so well...



"I'm the man on the mountain, won't you come on up?

I'm the plowman in the valley with a face full of mud.

Yes, I'm fumbling and I know my car won't start.

Yes, I'm stumbling and I know I play a bad guitar.



Give me little drink from your loving cup.

Just one drink and I'll fall down drunk.



I'm the man who walks the hillside in the sweet summer sun.

I'm the man that brings you roses when you ain't got none.

Well I can run and jump and fish, but I won't fight

You if you want to push and pull with me all night.



Give me little drink from your loving cup.

Just one drink and I'll fall down drunk.



I feel so humble with you tonight,

Just sitting in front of the fire.

I see your face dancing in the flame,

Feel your mouth kissing me again,

What a beautiful buzz, what a beautiful buzz,

What a beautiful buzz, what a beautiful buzz.

Oh, what a beautiful buzz, what a beautiful buzz.



Yes, I am nitty, gritty and my shirt's all torn,

But I would love to spill the beans with you till dawn.



Give me little drink from your loving cup.

Just one drink and I'll fall down drunk..."



I love you Michael, with all my heart...

Hey Mike,

I ran into Laura and Ken yesterday. I havent seen them for almost a year. they look like they are doin pretty good. It brought up some good memories i had with all of you guys. We are gonna hang out for my birthday this year. I know i'll have alot of fun and i hope you can enjoy it to from up there. i miss you and joey has been wanting to go to the cemetary to see you. he asks about you alot and i always tell him your an angel now. we all miss you dearly but your memories still live strong in our hearts. i hope you enjoyed all the holidays up there its gotta be something else seeing it from your point of view. well anyway i miss you monkey boy and we all send our love (me, bob, and joey)keep on watching over us love ya

I visited the cemetery on Saturday it's so beautifully decorated- I'm glad the landscape police haven't removed anything lately (although there was a warning note from them saying it was getting excessive- your ladies are in trouble again!) It was so quiet and I just sat there alone thinking....I was upset Friday night because I could see my sister missed and needed you alot that day-we went to see Jack Straw and they played songs that meant alot to you guys. She brought one of your Phish shirts and I wore it here and there when I was cold. yes- cold on July 9th! Thank You! (I also wore your Rolling Stones red white and blue t shirt on the 4th.)

Anyway I was sitting there alone and it was soooo quiet and noone was around-just silent and peaceful-until I started crying really loudly for a few minutes- But just when I started to settle down there came these 2 little white butterflies fluttering around me, then I heard a loud squawk above me and I looked up just as this hawk was almost out of sight. Thanx for the ripple! I needed it badly.

I was in the car with my mom meeting Kristin that same Friday and 2 songs came on that made me think you were with us- one title escapes me right now but thanx again... I have another song that I want to put the lyrics on here but I will save it for another time.

Hi baby,

Happy Fourth of July! I can't imagine what fireworks look like from heaven. Must be amazing!



I'm so upset, I can't even remember what we did together on the 4th of July in past years. I definitely remember watching fireworks from Jimmy's boat, but that wasn't for the 4th of July. Oh wait, I just remembered one year! Heather was pregnent with Zeth, and we watched fireworks with her and Scott out on the street in Carol Stream. You took pictures of us with fireworks in the background (they didn't turn out). That was the same day that Heather and I made strawberry shortcakes and you gave me the red and blue glitter roses. Oh my gosh, I feel so much better now that I have a memory with me today. Well, I hope all of your days are beautiful, miss you lots, and send some extra blessings to my sister for her birthday!

Hey sweetheart,

I have been thinking about you non-stop all week, so I thought I'd drop in to say "hi." I'll be stopping to visit the cemetery tomorrow- I hope all of your decorations have made it through the rain. I can't even believe how many dragonflies that Josie and I saw on our walk yesterday!! I know you sent them for us, to tell me that you're still around and that you like my little dog. Isn't she just so sweet?? I know you'd be proud of me for getting a dog without you, and I'm so lucky to have her since she's helped me through some tough times.



Tuesday is Jeff's birthday and he would be turning 30! I can't believe how long he's been gone either. The world really has lost some beautiful souls in the past few years. I was thinking about you both today, and that if dating is allowed in heaven that he and Dalena must be a couple. They were both such great, crazy-fun people. I can imagine the silliness taking place up there with the three of you!!



Okay, I'm going to stop rambling for now. I miss you so much sweetie... give Jeff a big hug for me.

hey mike!

It's been along year for all of us without you here, even though you are in all of our hearts. Alot has changed since you have been gone. I think you would be proud of me now for as far as iI made it in life compared to how i use to be. You have been alot of guidence for me. You use to say alot of things that i never thought twice about. Now I think twice about everything. I don't know if you knew how important you are to me, but you were and still are. I live alot of my life with the advice you gave me and my life is starting to get better because i finally took it. I thank you for everything you have done for me and all the little things you have said. With out those thoughts and words i would probly be in the same spot i was. I miss you even though i know your always with all of us. Thank you for making me a stronger person. I love you My sweet monkey boy. But I wish i could have been a better angel for you. love ya

My love,

I swore to myself that I would stop writing song lyrics on here for awhile. But, after watching Trey talk about his favorite moments tonight, I just have to give you a song. I listened to this the other day, it has such pretty lyrics. Like everything, it reminded me of you. I wonder what you would be saying about the band ending if you were here? Of course I'll be looking at the stars during the shows again this summer, feeling like you're with me and sharing every moment.



Anything But Me



"I am just a satellite, high above the atmosphere

Bouncing every thing you say to someone who was meant to

hear

Sometimes on a rainy day, I lie in bed and dream of you

So blame it on the satellite, when your message can't get

through



I am just a tiny wave, a minor ripple out at sea

Moving slowly towards the shore, burdened with uncertainty

I'm gaining power, losing speed, wondering as I near your

door

Will you hold it open for the tidal wave approaching shore?



You've become an island in the hazy world surrounding me

Offering a vast reward each time I safely cross the sea

All too often I become lost in the fog and haze

Clinging still, against my will, to promises of clearer days



I am just a raindrop that accelerates without control

Losing bits and pieces in descent 'til I'm no longer whole

I am just another shooting star above that you might see

Until I have your full attention I'll be anything but me"

Hey baby,

The Sopranos that we waited for all last year finally happened. I so wished that you were at Heather and Scott's to watch it with all of us. I miss you so much at little times like that, when it almost feels like there's an empty spot in the room.



I liked the song that they played at the end, you know how that show always has such good music. I looked up the song and lyrics so I could write them for you. I miss you so much sweetheart.





"It couldn't have happened

To a better man

It couldn't have been any

Different than it was



And you're wrapped in my memory like chains

For I say that the flowers will always be there in my heart

Like an old fashioned movie with all of you playing the parts



Wonder if I'll never

be so unafraid

To walk to the river

And turn around again



For I say that the flowers will always be there in my heart

Like an old fashioned movie and I never forget your part

I never forget your part



Standing on that stage

tell us what you've been feeling

Before you started to fade

You gave me something to believe in

And that's the best thing

That anyone can give



And you're wrapped in my memory like chains

(Yeah you're only a memory now)

And you're wrapped in my memory like chains

(Yeah you're only a memory now)

And you're wrapped in my memory like chains

(Yeah you're only a memory now)



And I can't wait until we see each other again

And I can't wait until we see each other again

And I can't wait until we see each other again



And you're wrapped in my memory... like rolled gold"

hey mike! I don't know why the last few times i wrote it never made it to the page. I don't know why, i dident write anything bad. anyway hows heven treating you? i hope good... Everything has been crazy down here for the last few months i'm sure you can see that though. i think about you alot, everyday. But there not sad thoughts anymore. just good memories and happy thoughts. (Joey says hi uncle lefty, I hope your having a good time in heven, and I love and miss you.) He thinks about you alot too. Everyone does! I miss and love you my monkey boy (heart)missy

So much is happening, Mike! Can you believe that Amanda is graduating already? It seems like it was just yesterday that you were showing me her picture (by holding it up to your face and saying "don't we look alike?") and telling me about how she was at ISU. I am constantly impressed with her perseverence and achievements.



This job craziness is really getting to me, and I wish I could talk to you about it. I know you'd be telling me not to worry, and making me laugh about the people I've been dealing with. You always made tough situations so much easier to handle!!



I hope you watched and enjoyed when I played Phish songs for your mom the other day. She recognized Contact immediately, and it gave her a nice memory of you playing it for her. I liked introducing her to the songs that make me think of you.



A lot of people who love you are dealing with obstacles right now. Make sure you send them some love to help them through their problems, and drop a few pennies to remind people that you're encouraging them!!



Love you and miss you, sweetie

Mike - I absolutely cannot believe a year has passed. Really unbelievable. I'm glad Kristin was with your family today. Keep sending those pennies and ripples. Hard to see the computer screen thru teary eyes but I'll do my best.

I heard a song and I don't who wrote it to give credit- it was on someone's unmarked burned CD that I listened to.

This kind of made me think of the loss of Mike was so sudden, and made me want to tell the people who are still trying to deal with and accept this-go to each other for comfort, love and support regularly, and somehow you will help each other find the way your lives will now go.





Sunny days and Starry Nights,

and lazy afternoons

You're counting castles in the sky

and humming little tunes

But somehow right before your eyes the summer slips away

Everything is different

Everything has changed



chorus

If you feel lost and on your own and far from home,

you're never alone you know

just think of your friends

the ones who care

they all will be waiting there

with love to share

and your heart will lead you home



funny how a photograph

can take you back in time

to places and embraces

that you thought you'd left behind.

they're trying to remind you

that you're not the only one-

that noone is an island

when all is said and done

repeat chorus



They'll come a day

when you're losing you're way

and you won't know where you belong

They say that home is where the heart is,

so follow your heart

and know that you can't go wrong

repeat chorus





We know Mike is still here in some way- when you see a "Ripple in Still Water- when there is no Pebble Tossed nor Wind to Blow"

Hugs to everyone who loved him- keep leaning on each other and watch for those pennies and ripples because you might miss one.

hey mike how ya doing cant beleive its been ayear already.i still think your on a long trip in some crazy way love and miss you dearly wish everybody else knew you like i did thats the real michael.uncle t

For all who are missing Mike as much as I am:



"We can't feel saddened over the loss of those we love without first remembering the joy of loving them. The real sadness would have been never having had them in our lives at all. Remembering is a journey the heart takes, back into a time that was, and our thoughts are the only tickets needed to ride. We who have truly loved are blessed.



Remember everything."



I love you Mike, always and forever...

Well Mike, it seems like each day this month is getting a little tougher to get through. Of course, being in Vegas helped a little, but the shows were bittersweet. I couldn't believe that they played special songs for you and me every night! I was really glad to see Meghan and be able to talk to her for awhile. Remember how crazy the New Year's was when I met her? It's hard to believe that her boyfriend was already gone then, and now she and I have so much more in common. It felt really good to talk to someone else who has been through it.



I hope you sent some extra blessings to your mom today (I guess it's yesterday now!) for her birthday. I don't think that any of us thought we'd make it this far, but we have. Your mom is such an amazing and strong person. She misses you so much but also knows that we'll all be together again before we know it. I am so lucky to have your entire family in my life.



Love you always!!

Hey baby,

Happy Easter! I still have what's left of our Easter candy from last year- not that I'm going to eat it, but I just can't throw it away. You were so cute in the hospital with your little bag and stealing my peanut butter eggs. I miss you so much Mike. I wish you were here to enjoy Spring with me.

Happy Birthday, Mike. Love you like a brother.

Happy Birthday Mike -- Must really be something celebrating your birthday in Heaven! Was grandpa singing happy birthday off-key?? We all miss you so very much. I thought of you all day Monday. I think of your Mom and Dad and sister everyday, but I thought of them especially on your birthday and of how much they miss you. I sure wish there was something I could do or say to make them feel the pain of losing you less --- Knowing you're in Heaven is very comforting and knowing you keeping an eye on all of us down here helps too. Keep a close eye on Cindy and Laura for me -- they need a big strong guardian angel!!

Love Always, Auntie Marie

hey lefty! HAPPY BIRTHDAY! as you know i had a party this weekend and the old crew was here, we celebrated as if you were with us. in heart, mind and soul your still are but i wish i could here your voice and laugh. i miss you monkey boy & this month is so really hard so please kick me when you see me get sad!! XOXO

Happy Birthday, my sweet love.

I hope your first birthday in heaven is wonderful... we'll all be thinking about you down here. If you were still with us, we'd be celebrating the "magic number" 26- the deadline you gave yourself for settling down. Instead, you can celebrate in heaven and we can embrace the memories of the short time we were blessed with you. I love you and miss you so much, Mike. Send us some butterflies today!!

I was listening to Phish's version of "Roses are Free" yesterday, and it made me think of you. You used to like for me to play Ween songs in my car... they always made you laugh. I'm sure you would have loved our sing-along in Miami, with Tommy playing guitar and the rest of us singing and dancing around the hotel room. I thought I'd write out the lyrics for you... they almost remind me of silly advice that you would give me when I was sad. I love you and miss you so much, baby.



"Take a piece of tinsel and put it on the tree

Cut a slab of melon and pretend that you still love me

Carve out a pumpkin and rely on your destiny

Get in your car and cruise the land of the brave and free



Don't forget to understand exactly what you put on that tree

Don't believe the florist when he tells you that the roses are free



Take a wrinkled raisin and do with it what you will

Push it into third if you know you're gonna climb that hill

Eat planty of lasagna 'til you know that you've had your fill

Resist all the urges that make you want to go out and kill



Don't forget to understand exactly what you put on that tree

Don't believe the florist when he tells you that the roses are free



Throw the pumpkin at the tree

Unless you think that pumpkin holds your destiny

Pass it off into the sea

Bake that pie and eat it with me..."



I hope you're smiling down on me Mike and sharing all these silly moments that I miss so much:)

Hi Mike,

Thanks for the rainbow today. I'm sure you know that I have a hard time going to class because it's so close to my old apartment. Looking up during my drive and seeing the beauty of the heavens made it a little easier today.



I miss you so much!!

Mikey,

I'm so sorry that I havent written anything in here...but you know that me and you have our own little thing going on ;) This week has been so hard for me. I miss you more then ever. I dont want it to be a year, but time keeps going on and I feel like I'm just being dragged along. My life is changing but I dont want it to. I want things to be like they used to be.



I'm going to africa in a few weeks...wanna come? I'm sure I'll see you there. (Okay Kristin, youre not the only delusional one!) I'm graduating on May 16th, don't forget. I'm applying to grad school, what school do you think I should go to? God, I wish you were here! I love you and miss you so much.

Well Mike,

Today is February 13th- "our Valentine's Day." It has already been a year since I left work to find a rose and a card on my windshield. It was also on this day last year that you gave me a heart-shaped box of chocolates with my "future wedding ring" in the center. I remember the look on your face when I opened my beautiful gift like it was yesterday. I also keep thinking about when we were lying together in your hospital bed-you were twirling it around on my finger while we talked about our upcoming moving day. Every time the stones catch the sunlight, I feel like I see you smiling at me. Maybe that's why, as my friend Shannon from work pointed out, I look at my ring whenever I talk about you. You and I both believed that this ring held so many promises for the future... I try so hard to keep believing that all of our dreams will still come true...



"The night has a thousand eyes.

And the day but one;

Yet the light of the bright world dies

With the dying sun



The mind has a thousand eyes.

And the heart but one;

Yet the light of a whole life dies

When love is done."



-Missing you with all my heart, forever and always...

to my monkey boy you were my best friend and i miss you so much i just wish i could talk to you. I really wish i could have helped you more. i love you baby watch over us

Hey Mike,

A student had a copy of this poem and it made me think of you, so I thought I would share it. You always wanted to hear about my students; you would have loved the "Watch your damn language" joke-of-the-day in class today...



Remember



As I sit here

remembering you,

Your laugh full of fun,

the times we had



The warmth of your heart

and the compassion within

Is not always far,

but a feeling within.



I lay here and dream

of your smiling face,

The one day

I might see again.



And if it fails,

I will always remember

The sunshine you brought to my life.





Love you and can't wait to see you again,

We all had such a good time in Miami/South Beach and at the shows, Mike. While you were missed so greatly, we felt your presence just enough to keep us smiling. Tommy, Melissa, and I kept telling others about how much fun you would have had and were constantly trading memories about last year in New York.



When "Loving Cup" came on, Tommy took out your picture and we both gave you a kiss. I think we felt you the most then, and I felt like I could see you when I looked at the sunrise over the ocean. At midnight on NYE, my heart swelled from thinking about kissing you exactly a year earlier, and remembering how we stood in awe squeezing each other's hands and smiling at the dancers, lights, and balloons. I was really glad that we had so many fun memories of you at shows to bring with us.



"I'm the man who walks the hillside in the sweet summer sun,

I'm the man who brings you roses when you ain't got none..."



Missing you always...

Lefty, I thought about you alot today more than i usally do just because jimmy is spending the new year in germany and before he left he said to me that you are suppose to be with him, his right hand man. we have alot of talks about you and we miss you dearly. i always tell him that your by his side because i believe your with all of us. WE miss you and watch over us through out the new year love ya my monkey boy, miss you always, missy xoxo

I have wanted to write in here hundreds of times but nothing comes out right so I never finish. I am not one to be without words, but even now again it is very difficult.

I'd like to express that I think Mike came from an amazing family, and I am so thankful that my sister has them in her life. They give her strength and comfort that I and others in our family never could.



Mike left us way too soon- I felt I was just getting to know and love him more and more. My whole family became crazy about him fast! His charisma was so strong.



I pray for him and for his family and friends this hoilday season.

Mike,

While you are missed daily, this season has been exceptionally difficult as your family and friends start new holiday traditions without you.



I hope that you looked down and saw the beautiful candles that were lit in your memory. While Amanda did the reading about "Courage," I could feel you "cheering her on," as her reading described. It is the memories of past holidays and your everlasting presence that will stay with us to ease the pain of each new season.



Shine forever more...

To the Lesmeisters and other loved ones:



I keep thinking about how much we all miss Mike, and how everything is so different without him. I came across this poem and needed to share it. The words truly remind me of something that Mike would say to comfort us. I also know that he is glad that he knew in his heart who really cared for him when it was his time. Mike, we all can't wait to see your smile...



"To my dearest family, some things I'd like to say. But first of all, to let you know, that I arrived okay.



I'm writing this from heaven; here I dwell with God above. Here, there's no more tears of sadness; here is just eternal love.



Please do not be unhappy just because I'm out of sight. Remember that I am with you every morning, noon, and night.



That day I had to leave you when my life on earth was through; God picked me up,hugged me, and said "I welcome you.



It's good to have you back again, you were missed while you were gone. As for your dearest family, they'll be here later on.



I need you here so badly, you're a part of my plan. There's so much that we have to do, to help our mortal man."



God gave me a list of things that he wished for me to do. And foremost on the list was to watch and care for you.



And when you lie in bed at night, the day's chores put to flight; God and I are closest to you... in the middle of the night.



When you think of my life on earth, and all those loving years; because you are only human, they are bound to bring you tears.



But do not be afraid to cry, it does relieve the pain. Remember there would be no flowers, unless there was some rain.



I wish that I could tell you all that God has planned. If I were to tell you, you would not understand.



But one thing is for certain, though my life on earth is o'er, I'm closer to you now, than I ever was before.



There are many rocky roads ahead of you and many hills to climb; but together we can do it by taking one day at a time.



It was always my philosophy and I'd like it for you too; that as you give unto the world, the world will give to you.



If you can help somebody who's in sorrow and in pain, then you can say to God at night, "My day was not in vain."



And now I am contented...that my life was worthwhile; knowing as I passed along the way I made somebody smile.



So if you meet somebody who is sad and feeling low, just lend a hand to pick him up as on your way you go.



When you're walking down the street and you've got me on your mind; I'm walking in your footsteps only half a step behind.



And when it's time for you to go,from that body to be free; remember you're not leaving....you're coming here to me."

Mike, not a day goes by without thinking about you. Toys for tots was sunday and i remember last year when jimmy and I were preparing for it and you told us how nuts we were for riding a bike in less then 20 degree weather. We'll jimmy and i went again this year and the weather was great. we were both a little hung over but the whole time we talked about you and how we know that you are with us. i miss you and your smiles... missy

There is a place on the mountain near by

Deep in a cave but its up rather high

There in the darkness I safely concealed

All of the dreams that you never revealed



And if you go there, and after you do

All of these dreams would be yours to pursue

The rest of your lifetime, devoid of a care

If you keep your eyes open, you may find yourself there



Such is the promise, such is the curse

You could just live your life better or worse

Knowing the casual dreams up on that hill

Beckons and sways but won't bend to your will



You might find a river under a mountain that

feeds a remote, subterranean fountain

drink from this taste just a hint of a dream

that somehow leads in to the underground stream



And if you go there, and after you do

All of these dreams would be yours to pursue

The rest of your lifetime, devoid of a care

If you keep your eyes open, you may find yourself there



If you keep your heart open



-Phish



Miss you Mike

"My life closed twice before its close-

It yet remains to see

If Immortality unveil

A third event to me



So huge, so hopeless to conceive

As these that twice befell.

Parting is all we know of heaven,

And all we need of hell."



-Emily Dickinson



This poem reminded me of losing you and Jeff. I heard a rumor that you two are hanging out with the same person in heaven, hope you're having fun...



Love you always

Hey Mike,

Remember when my Grandma died and I gave you the hummingbird from her house? You hung it in your kitchen window and it looked so pretty. Yesterday, I found a note that you left me when I first moved into my old apartment, and next to it was a copy of a poem that my great-aunt read at my Grandma's funeral. It is so nice so I thought I would share it with anyone who reads this and is missing you too:



Remember Me

To the living I am gone, and to the sad I will never return. To the happy I am at peace and to the angry I was cheated.

But to the faithful, I have never left. I cannot appear, but I can listen. I can no longer lead, but I can walk beside you.



So, as you stand gazing at a beautiful sunset or gaze at the moon in its endless sky, remember me.

As you look in wonder at the colors of a rose or listen to the song of a bird, remember me.



Remember me in your heart, in your thoughts, and in your memories. Remember the times we loved and the times we fought, the times we teased and the times we shared, the times we laughed and the times we cried.



When you remember me, know that I am with you and that one day we shall be together to share the joys and blessings of heaven.

Mike you drew something under a plaque i had on my wall that i never knew about. Well the plaque fell and broke and i seen it for the first time yesterday. It made me think of the fun times we had together and the freindship we shared I love you and miss you monkey boy! you will always be a big part of my heart!

Michael my love,

I cannot believe how long it's been since I heard you laugh and saw your smile. The world is such a different place without you in it and you are missed so deeply by everyone that loves you. I hope you can still feel our love and keep watching over us until we all meet again. I know you'll have fun greeting us all and showing us around...



Always and forever

Mike, I see your name in my phone everyday, but can't bring myself to remove it from the list, and probably never will...I miss you and your friendship. --NateDogg

Nothing is the same without you, Mike.

Missing you every day and love always,

Kristin

I miss you Mike, I wish u were still here. WE all miss you, and we all love you.your cousins nick,joey,michael&vinnie.