Joan Hader Obituary

Uncle Art and Family, So sad to hear of Aunt Joan's passing. She was well loved and I'm sure Heaven is filled with her joyful voice. Love to all,Patti

My deepest sympathy to Art, and all of the family. John, your eulogy was a wonderful remembrance that took me back many years. When I was at your house and Joan came in, her presence was captivating. Her spirit lit up your home. She is, and always will be the best.

Melissa & Family:
So sorry to hear about your mom's passing. I'll always remember her directing the plays at MSW and how thoughtful & patient she was. All the best to you and your extended family

Missy,
Much of my high school years were spent at your house hanging out with you and I loved every minute I was there. There was always excitement and always laughter! I owe my career choice and the fact that I went to college to your mom. She got me my first job at the bank in Park Ridge and I am forever grateful. My prayers are for you and your family who are left behind!

Joan and I send you our sincerest condolences on the loss of your Mother.

Joan Hader Eulogy

Imagine being four or five years old and you're sitting with your three brothers (and likely a sister on the way) waiting for The Wizard of Oz to come on television for the first time in your memory. You are absolutely unfamiliar with Dorothy or the Scarecrow or the Wicked Witch or the Munchkins. This is a time long removed from Internet, cable, and DVDs. In the fifties, The Wizard of Oz on television is truly a rare event, and your mother tells you before it starts that this movie is very, very special. However, during the movie your mother all of sudden bursts out in passionate song, most especially during “Over the Rainbow.” Your mom knows every word, and she's every bit as good in your mind as the young actress playing the lead.

Imagine hearing songs every day in your house, morning, noon, and night: “Happy Talk,” “Life Is Just a Bowl of Cherries,” “Fly Me to the Moon.” Imagine playing a game on a rainy day when you would call a word out to your mom, and she would sing a song with that word in the title and never fail. Imagine seeing Barbra Streisand on Ed Sullivan in 1962, and a day later your mom is nailing “People” in the living room when you come home from school. Your mom is absolutely all over the song, capturing the right mix of joy and pain, and delivering it like a pro. What comes to your ten year old mind is that she should be doing this for a living. No one can be this good and not be on a stage.

My mom was the best singer I have ever heard, bar none. She had a big sound that grabbed an audience. She had soul. She was a consummate musician with the gift of perfect pitch. The musicians I worked with used to get a kick of calling out “A” or “B flat,” and my mom would hit it…on the money. Her song choices were impeccable. Take a look at the CD she recorded in the last months of her life titled Around the House. There are classic show tunes from Bye, Bye Birdie and The Sound of Music. There's also “Make Someone Happy,” “I Won't Grow Up,” “If I Ruled the World,” and of course “Over the Rainbow.” However, what made her great was that she could really deliver a song. She was so true to the tune. She believed with all her heart what she was singing or she wouldn't have picked the song. Music was such a large part of her being, and, oh yeah, she could work a room. Our eyes were on her. She owned us.

However, my mom chose to do something else for a living. She chose to have us: eight children, nineteen grandchildren, and eight great-grandchildren. She chose to teach us stuff that would make us people who live for others. She chose to be the closest and best friend to my dad. She chose to love him and be by his side for sixty-two years. She also chose to be a successful businesswoman during a time when women in corporate America were underappreciated…at best. She chose to demonstrate her strength to us in the face of inequality. She chose to be a devout Catholic. She chose to show us how to live a life in Christ. She chose to be a great friend to a whole lot of folks. She chose to grace them with her insight and laughter. I never heard her voice a single regret. In fact, all I sensed was a great pride in her accomplishments and her influence.

But with her choices, came something else that she may or may not have expected down the road. Mom's showbiz DNA went rampant in our family. Some of us work now or have worked as pros in showbiz. Some of us just do showbiz as a rule: the children, the grandchildren, and the great-grandchildren. It's in the blood. We express my mom's brand of showbiz on the street, in the dorm, or just in life. Even the most reticent of us is usually the funniest one on the team or the one who can sing. We just don't know any better. Rock and roll is merely a part of it. It's just the way things are for all of us, and you know exactly what I'm talking about: the cartoon voices, the bits, the music, the routines, and of course the show tunes. Speaking of show tunes, the final tune on my mom's CD is from Liza Minnelli's 1972 television special, Liza with a Z. It's titled “It Was a Good Time.” Wow, a quintessential show tune, brassy and sassy as all get out. It makes Ethel Merman come off like Edith Piaf. Please allow me to share some of the lyrics. I think they're appropriate. Hey, Mom:
“It was a good time, it was the best time;
It was a party, just to be near you.
It was a good time, it was the best time;
And we believed that it would last forever.
We would stay together and share the laughter,
With never ever a morning after.
It was a good time, it was the best time
It seemed a short time, but such a good time.”

Mom, it sure was a very, very good time.

Final Thought

Oh, yeah. One more person wanted to say something today. She told me to start off by saying to you these exact words: “Pretend I'm Melissa, okay? Like Daddy said, Granny was a beautiful singer, and when I was a baby she would sing me all kinds of songs. My favorite part was when she was a clown. She sang, she danced, and she made everybody laugh. When Aunt Melissa told me that she was seven when her grandma died, it's really hard to believe it happened. I'm seven too, so let's just hope that whoever you want to call her (I call her ‘Granny'!), you think about her, and she will always think about you. She will look down from the sky. She will see you everywhere, and I hope you do that for her. Just watch for her in heaven.”

Your mom was very good to the Conrardy's and our mothers were very close. Matt thanks for keeping our mom informed and we will never foget the FUN we had as kids growing up with the Haders in Park Ridge! Your Mom was an inspriation to all who had the pleasure of meeting her.
God Bless her.

Art, Matt, Rick, Missy, John, Dan, Art, Bill, Andy & all of your wonderful family. Like she did for so many, Joan left an imprint on my heart. She was a mentor, a friend, an amazingly talented woman & soulful person. My mom, Betty & all my family will remember her whenever we sing and dance and laugh. She had the best laugh. God Bless each of you. Joan was, and is, her family, her spirit. Always.

With deep sympathy to Art and the entire Hader clan. How proud Joan must have been of the creative juices flowing through the generations....I am quite sure she took the credit and rightly so! Although you are sad, remember the good times and cherish the uniting of your family to celebrate the (larger than) life of your wife, mom and granny. Love and peace to you all during this difficult time.

Art, Missy, and All:
Fitz sent me word of Joan's obituary. How I treasured her. I think of her often and of the work and fun we had entertaining together. She really knew how to "milk and audience" and work a room! She taught me a lot about theater and about living well with other people.
My thoughts and prayers are with you.

Dear Art, Missy and All:

My heart just skipped several beats,
as I came upon Joan's obit on the
Trib website. I'm looking at a photo on my wall of Joan, in clown makeup, with Milt, Kay, Patti and me (from one of the shows at Notre Dame H.S.) Your wife, and mom, was not just a great entertainer but a great, and wonderful, human spirit! She and Marvin Hamlisch may have gone through the pearly gates together. No doubt they've already found some heavenly Steinway, where he's accompanying her, singing "Can't forget,
won't regret, what I did for love!" Please know that you are all in my heart. With admiration and love,

Fitz

Art,
Many fond memories from high school, my deepest sympathy