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Debra Phillips "Debbi" Barnett

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Debra Barnett Obituary

Barnett, Debra "Debbi" Phillips age 44, of Wilmette, IL, died suddenly at home on July 27, 2005. Beloved wife of Stanton H. Barnett; cherished mother of Phillip (16) and Kelly (13); proud daughter of Donald E. and Sue Phillips; sister of Donna (Mike) Keeling; daughter-in-law of Dana and Derl Barnett; sister-in-law of Maleea Barnett and aunt of Don and Amanda Keeling. Debbi spent her youth in Winnetka, attending New Trier West High School, followed by the University of Mississippi (Pi Beta Phi Sorority) and grad school at the University of Virginia where she made many close life long friends. Debbi brought much joy to all of the lives she touched. Her friends and family were delighted with her great sense of humor, ability to remember birthdays and faithfulness in keeping in touch via notes, phone calls and e-mails. Her love and concern for others was evident in all her many activities. Her social activities were as diverse as the many wonderful attributes she possessed, from Southern Alliance to BSF (Bible Study Fellowship), to her many church functions. She attended Skokie Valley Baptist Church for over 30 years where she was active in a variety of ministries, including Awana Commander (10 years) and Wedding Coordinator. She loved playing golf and paddle tennis at Westmoreland Country Club where she was known for both her athletic prowess and team spirit. She was the life of the Friday afternoon bridge group. She loved to travel, covering over 31 countries and most of the United States. She spent her life in pursuit of God, and now peacefully rests in the arms of her dear Savior, Jesus Christ. Visitation will take place Saturday, July 30th, from 9 a.m. to 11 a.m. Memorial service to follow from 11 a.m. to 12 noon at Skokie Valley Baptist Church, 1050 Skokie Blvd., Wilmette, IL, 60091. Arrangements by: Wm. H. Scott Funeral Home, 847-251-8200.

Published by Chicago Sun-Times on Jul. 29, 2005.
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Stan,
I was just skimming through some back issues of Northwestern magazine and I came across the class note that says you were widowed in 2005. I couldn't believe it when I read that. I'm so sorry to hear about this. I quickly found Debbi's obiturary, and since the guest book is still open, I want to give you my condolences even though it has been several years now.

I remember Debbi from our days as roommates after graduation from Northwestern. I remember her as a lovely, intelligent and sophisticated woman. You're tribute to her below is very touching. I imagine that even after all this time, you still feel a sense of loss.

Best Wishes,
Your NU friend and roommate

Michael Smiley

November 20, 2011

Stan, Well, I'm hoping you are the same Stan Barnett who attended Northwestern University in the early 80's. That Stan has been on my mind the past few months, so I began to look for a way to contact you to say "Hello" and "How are you?" In my search I came across this obituary. I was shocked and I am so very sorry to read of this terrible loss. I have been through a similar situation lately myself, so I can understand a little of your sadness and grief. I also read the beautiful eulogy you wrote about your wife. She sounds like so much energy, so much fun. I can only pray that you and your children have been comforted by God's fierce and abiding love. So...How are you?



Your NU friend, Connie

Connie (Hyder)Mulch, MU '84

May 18, 2006

Living Life Large: A Tribute to Debbi Barnett



(Delivered at Skokie Valley Baptist Church, Wilmette, IL July 30, 2005 by Stanton H Barnett, husband of Debra Phillips Barnett)



On behalf of Phillip, Kelly, and our extended family, thank you so much for joining us today to celebrate the life of Debra Phillips Barnett. Nobody ever enjoyed a party more than Debbi, so it is appropriate for us to get together in her memory today to have one.



Debbi Barnett lived life large. She didn’t use a tiny brush to paint the story of her life, she used a roller. I have so many great memories from my twenty two years with Deb. I want to share some of those with you today, to help you smile, and reflect on your own connections with the most awesome woman I have ever known. I loved her so much, and I refuse to allow her life to be defined by a few brief moments in an otherwise spectacular 44 year existence. You don’t evaluate a fireworks event because of one dud. Debbi gave me, and all of us, a lifetime of oohs and aaahs. I choose to remember her for all the things she said, and did, and was, and still is today in heaven resting in the arms of her Lord and Savior, Jesus.



I remember that Debbi had a special way of making and keeping friends. There are people in this audience from her high school days at New Trier West. She was so faithful at keeping up, with cards, phone calls and emails. The only reason she ever learned how to use a computer was so she could check her AOL account, or the latest paddle tennis results. She never forgot any detail, especially birthdays or anniversaries. Debbi made a lot of great friends at the University of Mississippi, “Ole Miss”, and at the University of Virginia where she received her Masters in Education. Ole Miss, how appropriate that Deb’s school mascot was a Rebel. While Deb had typical southern charm and grace, she also enjoyed a good party where she could be with her friends. One of the first groups she joined after we were married was the Southern Alliance, a long-time north shore group of women born in the South who gathered together for lunch events and parties. She always looked forward to neighborhood block parties for the same reason. She loved to meet new people, partly because she could ask all those questions.



The questions, oh how many questions Debbi had. She had an insatiable curiosity, inherited from her mother. Her father describes it as always asking one more question than you had an answer. Raise your hand if you have ever been on the receiving end of a Deb Barnett interrogation. She should have been a police detective, or the star of Crime Scene investigation, one of Phillip’s favorite shows, or a guest host on Oprah, one of her favorite shows. She loved to know all the details, and she used that gift to connect with others, to let them know that she cared. No one got more questions, though, than her kids. Deb loves Phillip and Kelly so much, and wanted to know every thought, every emotion, everything that happened to them. Dinner time was often a replay of that scene from one of our favorite movies, Uncle Buck, where the kid interviews John Candy. When asked why he had so many questions, the kid explained “that’s my job.” That was Debbi’s job, and everybody always went to her when they wanted to know what was going on. I am so glad that she is in heaven, where all her questions are answered. Can you imagine how she is wearing out Abraham, Moses and Daniel? Daniel, how many lions were in that den? Were they males or females? Were there any cubs? Did their mouths really stay shut the whole time?



Deb loved to watch her kids play sports. She was so proud of their athletic accomplishments. Part of Deb’s legacy are the legions of friends she made while faithfully patrolling the sidelines of soccer, baseball, basketball, diving and volleyball games. Those games also gave her an opportunity to connect with others and find out what was going on. She would constantly tell me, “put down that paper” or “quit playing with that palmpilot”. “Go talk to the parents of the children our kids are playing with”. There are so many people here today and in this community that have memories of Debbi’s sense of humor, friendliness, honesty and interest in their lives.



Debbi also loved to compete. She played volleyball, basketball, and softball in high school, winning all conference honors. After high school she played on the same co-ed softball team for over 20 years. At Westmoreland Country Club she made many friends playing golf, paddle tennis and bridge. She could shoot pool, shoot skeet, play ping pong. She inherited that competitive spirit from her father. But she was also a great teammate. After the match was over, it was all about the lunch and socializing. The relationships were what made the competition sweet. Her Friday afternoon bridge group was a perfect place for her to combine competition and fellowship. She also found fellowship and spiritual growth over the years through Bible Study Fellowship and other women’s bible studies.



Debbi had a spiritual home here at Skokie Valley Baptist Church, which she attended for over 30 years. She demonstrated leadership early on as an officer in the youth group. When she returned as a college graduate, she quickly drafted her parents as sponsors of the young singles group. Soon after she sent her dad on a hunting trip when she passed him a note during the Sunday morning service that read, “Check out that cute guy in the back of the church”. I had returned to Skokie Valley on the Sunday after Thanksgiving, 1984 and was standing in the back of the church after the service. A tall distinguished gentlemen with a southern accent approached me and we began to talk. The next thing I know he’s telling me, “I would like to introduce you to my daughter Debra.” Much to her chagrin, it took me a month to ask her out on date, but 500 dates and 800 days later, we were married. When our kids came along, she volunteered to take charge of the Wednesday night children’s program, Awana. She did her best to recruit and mobilize volunteers to train up Phillip, Kelly and over 800 children in the way of the Lord. She was always ready to help, whether or not she was asked. If Deb saw a need, she took care of it. She wanted things to be the best; she wanted me and the kids to be the best we could be. 19 years ago Deb’s dad walked her down that aisle and she became my wife, fulfilling God’s plan for our lives. This week Deb’s heavenly father took her home to heaven. We can honor her memory today by recommitting ourselves to that purpose, fulfilling the plan that God has for each of our lives.



What have I learned from Deb’s life? That life is all about relationships. What matters most is people, not possessions, or accomplishments, or status. Debbi cared about others, got involved in their lives, made positive contributions with her humor, compassion, curiosity and energy. What else can we do to honor her memory? Stay after the service today and join us for lunch. Don’t rush off to another activity. Take time to connect with someone you haven’t seen in a while, maybe even someone new, ask questions to find out what’s going on. Share a favorite Deb story and have a good laugh, just like she would do. Recommit yourself to staying in touch, remember those birthdays and anniversaries. But most of all, find peace and rest in the arms of Jesus, for when we see Him face to face, we will also see Deb again.

Stan Barnett

March 22, 2006

kelly and family,

i am very sorry to hear if your loss and my prayers are with you always. kel, you are an amazing person. from the couple of months that i had the priveledge of working with you, you have been able to put a smile on my face. i know that your mom was very proud of you from the converstaions that i had with her. continue being the best that you can be knowing that she is watching you. you both were a pleasure to work with this year

love, coach

sandra nowicki

August 24, 2005

Dear Stan & family,

Sorry to hear about Debbie. You have our prayers and love. May God provide all that you need. May you and the family be comforted by the Holy Spirit.

Love in Christ,

Jim & Arlene Robertson

Jim & Arlene Robertson

August 24, 2005

Stan: My heart goes out to you and your family at your loss. If there is anything we can do, please ask.

Rick Percifield

August 4, 2005

Dear Stan, Phillip, Kelly, Mr. and Mrs. Phillips, Donna and Family,





Our hearts are drenched in sorrow of the passing of our good friend Debbi. Our hearts and prayers go out to you, Stan, at the loss of your best friend and wife. We know you are hurting. We pray for the kids, along with the rest of the family, for comfort. We will miss seeing her smiling face and catching up when we come in. Because Debbi was a child of God this time is only temporary and when our time is to go into eternity we shall all be together. What a wonderful Lord we have. We will continue to pray for you and your families. We wish we could have been there with all the others to help suport you and remember Debbi. She will always be in everyone's heart, because she touched so many. Stan, you have friends in, New Jersey.If you need anything please give us a call.



Love,



Tom and Gloria Peera and Family

Gloria Peera

August 2, 2005

Dear Stan, Kelly, and Philip,



I am a Pi Phi friend of Debbi's and have four small children. I have been struggling with cancer for the last 8 years, and every time I would see Debbi, she was always so concerned about my health and well being. If only I had known she was privately suffering, I would certainly have supported her as she supported me with her love.



Debbi made the Pi Phi house at Ole Miss a wonderful place to live. I will always remember "Flip's" smile and humor and carry it in my heart. I pray for your family, and may God bless, support and comfort all of you. I thank God for having put Debbi in my life.



My sincerest heartfelt condolences to all of you.

Kelly Harper Miller

Mississippi Beta '82

Kelly Harper Miller

August 2, 2005

Dear Barnett Family,

Our thoughts and prayers are with you all as you go through this. Deb was a great woman and always made us feel welcome when we were around her. We are terribly sorry for your loss. May God bless your family.



Rich and Tara Le Veque

Rich and Tara Le Veque

August 2, 2005

Dear Stan, Kelly and Phillip,

I am so sorry for your loss. Flips was such a special friend to me and all of us at Ole Miss. You all are in my prayers.

Becky Ball Fiedler

August 1, 2005

Dear Stan, Phillip, and Kelly,

We are so sorry for your loss. You will be in our prayers for comfort and peace. If there is anything we can do, please let us know.

Love,

Jake and Kym

Jake & Kym Condon

August 1, 2005

Dear Stan, Phillip and Kelly,

Please accept our heartfelt condolences. We all grieve with you and will miss Debbi. We know you are under God's guidance and protection. Read Psalm 23 for comfort. May God bless you always. It is reassuring to know that Debbi loved and worshipped her Lord and Savior, Jesus Christ

Walter & Ingelore Goldberg

July 31, 2005

My many positive remembrances of Debbie will, in time, overcome the shock and dismay that I feel with her passing. I will miss Debbie at the soccer games. Since there is so much time on those side lines, she always managed to talk to everyone. I will never forget her great smile and laugh.



What she fought to overcome this last year must have been overwhelming. That she continued to do so much for her loved ones and her many communities (church, teams, clubs, friends) is a legacy that instructs and inspires us all. I hope that all of us who were graced by Debbie's life can learn from her the importance of talking frankly about things that really matter. That will be so important at this time of grieving. You can never tell when a person is just waiting for you to reach out to them. Debbie was, quite simply, a hero.

Elaine Petrakis

July 31, 2005

Dear Barnett Family,

I am a staff member at the Fitness Center where Debra was a member. Although I didn't know her very well, she always had a smile and a "hello" for me. I am truly sorry for your loss. Your family will be in my prayers for a long, long time. "Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understandings" (Proverbs 3:5) May God bless and keep you during this difficult time.

Michelle Sandstrom

July 30, 2005

Our deepest sympathy on your loss. Debbie had such a positive influence on us and our children during our time at Skokie Valley. Our sincerest prayers and love to your family.



Roger Remillard and Family

Roger Remillard and Family

July 30, 2005

My thoughts and prayers are with all of the Barnetts. May Spirit comfort you.



Michael Jampole

Highcrest Middle School

Michael Jampole

July 30, 2005

Dear Stan and Debbi's family,

I am very sorry for your loss. I have such fond memories of Debbi from Ole Miss. You are in my prayers. Kind regards

Shellye McDonald

July 30, 2005

To the loving Barnett Family,



Please know the Fay family sends our love and prayers. I had the privilege and honor of knowing Debbi while at New Trier West High School. Her warm smile and genuine compassion are miracles that are inside her and she shared, embraced and graced many with her love and warmth. God bless and comfort you, and may you receive the love and support you can draw upon from the many who love and wish to assist on this journey.



Christ's peace,



John and Annie Fay, Maggie, Joey, Danny, Francis, and Nicholas

John Fay

July 30, 2005

philip, I am very sorry for you're loss. If there is anything I can do to help you or your family please tell me.

Alex Petrakis

July 29, 2005

Our thoughts and prayers are with our beloved family members. May Debbie rest in peace with our memories of her love of family and church. Gene & Bonnie, Mindy, Sara & Karl Fenner

Gene & Bonnie & Family Phillips

July 29, 2005

Stan - deepest sympathy from my family to yours.

Your brother, Peter

Peter Laimins

July 29, 2005

Stan,

Words are inadequate to express the sorrow we all feel over Debbi's death. I hope it is some comfort to you to know that all of your Thornwood neighbors will be there for you and your children. You and your family are in our thoughts and prayers.



Joan

Joan Casciari

July 29, 2005

Dear Stan,

My deepest and most heart-felt sympathies to you and the children. My memories of "Flips" from our years at Ole Miss will always be cherished and held close to my heart.

Warren Backer

July 29, 2005

Debbi was one of the first people we met when we moved to Hollywood Court a few years ago. She came to our door and presented us with a plate of brownies and a neighborhood phone list, highlighting those homes with potential babysitters. We were so impressed with her friendliness, cheerfulness and kindness and that impression did not change over the years.



Please accept our most heartfelt sympathy and condolences. We are confident that your family will continue to be in the thoughts and prayers of the many, many people whose lives were touched by Debbi. She was a very special person and we will miss her!

Judy and Tom Ostrem

July 29, 2005

Stan, my thoughts and prayers are with you and your family during this, your time of grief. May the lord bless and keep you all.

Rochelle Battle

July 29, 2005

Dear Stan,

My deepest sympathies to you, Phillip and Kelly. Debbi's "Flips" wonderful sense of humor and wit will live on in our memories.

Lots of love,

Leslie Robbert Marsh

Leslie Marsh

July 29, 2005

Dear Stan and family,



Please accept my deepest condolences. I have only fond memories of speaking with Debbi on the phone.



With love,



Pat Turnage (nee Wilson)

Pat Turnage

July 29, 2005

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